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Don't let women's health care rights become merely a privilege of the wealthy simply because a bunch of male Republicans want to impose their out-of-date values on this country.
I was among the thousands, if not millions, of horrified citizens when the Republican led House of Representatives voted to end federal funding to Planned Parenthood yesterday. I try very hard to remain politically neutral on this blog, but not on this issue.
The measure now moves to the Senate, which will ultimately decide the funding fate of this vital family service organization. Thus, it's time to make your voice heard, and reach out to each and every Senator from your state and tell them just how vital it is to maintain funding levels, and that you will remember in November if they vote this funding down!
Planned Parenthood MUST retain its federal funding.
This organization provides health care services to needy women and children. Less than 5 percent of its budget goes to reproductive choices, and NO federal money is used to perform abortions NOW! [See above graphic.]
I have included important information below, the first a letter of appeal from Planned Parenthood, the second a fabulous posting by the non-profit Woodhull Freedom Foundation. I wish I had written Woodhull's post, but since I didn't, I am including it below in its entirety.
Here is the information from Planned Parenthood:
"We've never faced an attack like this in our 95-year history — and we've never needed your support like we do right now. Thank you for standing with us.
We have to raise a massive outcry against this dangerous attack on women's health and Planned Parenthood. Please, tell everyone you know to stand with us today.
Did you hear? The House voted to bar Planned Parenthood from federal funding. They cut funding for HIV tests, cancer screenings, birth control, and more, putting millions of women and families at risk. We can't let it go unanswered. It's time for you and me to stand with Planned Parenthood. Sign the open letter to the reps who voted for this bill — and to the senators who still have a chance to stop it.
This fight will continue as our legislators return to their home districts, and when legislation to bar Planned Parenthood from federal funding heads to the U.S. Senate. Your voice, your strength, and your unwavering support are absolutely critical, now and in the weeks ahead. Thank you so much for standing with us.
Ready to do more?
Help us fight back against ongoing attacks and set the record straight by sharing your story about how Planned Parenthood has been there for you, your family, or your friends. Telling the truth about Planned Parenthood and those we serve is critical to stopping this truly dangerous legislation. Click here.
These attacks on Planned Parenthood are a drain on our resources at a time when we have to work harder than ever to protect and promote women's health. Please consider making a gift to Planned Parenthood Federation of America to help us through this difficult time."
Now, please read this incredible blog posting from Woodhull below, or directly at its website:
War Against Women in Our Own Country
Posted on February 19, 2011 by rlevy
"It’s an inquisition as virulent as any Inquisition. It’s a holocaust with women and children as the targets.
It’s a fear-driven, rhetoric-inspired hysteria.
It’s a war.
It’s a war of words, not guns. And the victims are women and children. The “guns,” the weapons, are the gradual diminishing of our human rights.
We had warnings. We knew the attacks would be coming. In fact, we were promised that our rights would be stripped away if we put certain people in power. Well, we did. They are. And they are fulfilling their promises.
We are at war and we have to figure out what we’re going to do about it.
The latest salvo was yesterday when the House adopted an amendment to the continuing resolution, or C.R., offered by anti-choice Rep. Mike Pence (R-Ind.) that would eliminate funding for preventative-health services, including contraception and cancer screenings, at Planned Parenthood clinics across the country. The House is expected to pass the overall budget measure, which will then move to the Senate.
Note that I said “latest.” This isn’t the first attack against our fundamental human right and it won’t be the last. H.R.3 and H.R.358 are two bills that have sparked intense controversy. Lawmakers finally had to cave to public pressure and remove a provision in both bills that tried to redefine rape, but now a new version of H.R.358 includes a measure that would allow hospitals to refuse to provide abortion care to women who will die without it.
Nancy Keenan, President of NARAL, said that if passed, both H.R.3 and H.R.358 would interfere in women’s personal, private decisions in unprecedented ways. H.R.3, authored by Rep. Chris Smith (R-N.J.), would effectively block private-insurance plans from covering abortion care in the new health-care system and impose tax penalties on individuals and small businesses that purchase plans that include abortion coverage. Currently, 87 percent of private plans include such coverage.
Just last week a bill in South Dakota would have made it “legal” to murder an abortion provider.
We are a country in the midst of a financial depression. We are a country where millions of people have lost jobs and are unemployed. Shouldn’t those be the priorities Congress is facing? Instead the newly elected Senators and Representatives are manically focused on removing a woman’s right to choose.
Even allowing for editing of the tapes from Planned Parenthood, and imagining how many offices the undercover folks had to go into to get material for their expose, some of what the folks in PP said was wrong. And PP has addressed those individuals and those practices immediately. Did we close down the banks or AIG because someone, some individuals in those corporations screwed up? Well, as a matter of fact we actually increased our support of them and handed them lots and lots of money to fix their “business.”
Why is it so different with an organization that only does good? Why is it a different set of rules for an organization that serves millions of women every year, providing counseling, cancer screenings, testing? I can tell you why. Because it’s convenient for the “right” for the anti-choice war mongers who characterized the issue as one of abortion when that was never the real issue. It’s a weapon the “right” can re-package and use very effectively to strip away our human right to sexual freedom.
THERE IS NO FEDERAL FUNDING FOR ABORTION. Period.
All Pence did was remove health care from women.
The real issue is that Planned Parenthood is an abortion provider. Less than 10 percent of the organization’s services are in providing abortions.
The $317 million that the House eliminated, known as Title X, provides women access to contraceptives and family planning services who otherwise wouldn’t be able to afford them. No matter your political affiliation, these services should be considered vital.
So what can you do about it? Fortunately, it’s unlikely the amendment will pass in the Senate. In the meantime, hop on over to the Planned Parenthood website and SIGN THIS LETTER, directed toward representatives who signed the bill and senators who can still stop it from passing.
And, if you haven’t been, start paying really close attention to your fundamental human rights and what those elected officials in Congress and at the state level are doing to violate them."
I, too am adding my voice to those who will be reaching out to Congress. I cannot stress how important it is for every citizen, regardless or gender or age, to reach out and make your views known. Don't assume there are enough callers or writers on this issue. Do it for your family, for all families, for the health and welfare of everyone who lives in the U.S.!
— The Curator
It seems a hopeful sign that CBS foreign correspondent Lara Logan has been released from the hospital to continue her recovery at home from a horrific assault she suffered while covering the Egyptian uprising.
I wanted to post about this incident, but I admit it has taken me a couple of days to gather my thoughts together into some sort of a cohesive whole.
My blog is dedicated to discussing the world and its sexual behavior — in as unvarnished fashion as possible. That means talking directly about issues that might make some uncomfortable, like rape.
Complicating this post for me, is the fact that I am a former print journalist and a woman, who worked in the criminal justice field for many years. In fact, I had been assaulted on the job while I was covering a fatal house fire by an angry mob that had gathered at the site. But, I was lucky, it never involved any type of sexual abuse, nor did it require that I be hospitalized.
The following is the official statement by CBS, which was released Feb. 15 at 12:56 p.m., on what happened to Ms. Logan:
"On Friday February 11, the day Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak stepped down, CBS Correspondent Lara Logan was covering the jubilation in Tahrir Square for a 60 MINUTES story when she and her team and their security were surrounded by a dangerous element amidst the celebration. It was a mob of more than 200 people whipped into a frenzy.
"In the crush of the mob, she was separated from her crew. She was surrounded and suffered a brutal and sustained sexual assault and beating before being saved by a group of women and an estimated 20 Egyptian soldiers. She reconnected with the CBS team, returned to her hotel and returned to the United States on the first flight the next morning. She is currently in the hospital recovering.
There will be no further comment from CBS News and Correspondent Logan and her family respectfully request privacy at this time."
[Note: The above photo of Ms. Logan was taken her shortly before the horrendous attack.]
Nearly two weeks prior, Ms. Logan described the difficulties facing foreign journalists in Egypt — a country not unlike other authoritarian regimes in its treatment of the press — just before she was to have been also detained by police.
As most people who study psychology will tell you, rape is not about sex; it is about anger, hatred, and control. In this instance, the most shocking thing to me is not that it happened, but that it happened during the celebration after Mubarak had stepped down. It did not occur during the violent crack-down on the protesters by pro-Mubarak forces at a time when several male journalists were beaten.
There has been criticism of CBS for releasing any information about the ugly, brutal incident. I know from my experience, that they would never have done so without the explicit permission from Ms. Logan.
All journalists, whether print or broadcast, know the risks involved in their jobs. Those risks increase when they cover different cultures, and go up exponentially in the midst of volitile situations. Ms. Logan became separated from her team, and was suddenly in the midst of a mob of dissidents. I believe many of them acted against her because of the deep hatred they have for the West, not simply because of ethnic differences, but political and religious.
While inexcusably vile, this MUST not stop women from working as correspondents across the globe. If it does, it means that women's equality has taken a staggering step backward. The courage Ms. Logan has shown should be honored by increasing the ranks of women journalists, not decreasing them.
It is also important to note that Ms. Logan's life may very well have been saved by a group of Egyptian women, and soldiers who intervened on her behalf.
Rape is as old as humanity itself. It has been primarily used against women, but sometimes against men, to assert dominance and to crush the spirit of those assaulted.
I refuse to refer to those who have been so assaulted as "victims" because that implies they were, or are powerless, or somehow have been or are diminished. They may have been unable to prevent the assault, but what happened was NO fault of their own, and their survival is inspiring.
In Ms. Logan's case, the mob mentality no doubt fueled the viciousness of the attack and may have given the assailants tacit approval among their own group to have participated in a gang rape.
Sadly, there are so many cultures in which rape against women is barely even punished. I believe that what happened to Ms. Logan should be discussed, and faced directly, without flinching. We, as a society and even beyond our borders, need to stand up against the continued sexual abuse of women.
I applaud CBS and Ms. Logan for releasing the truth of what happened, and for providing an unvarnished perspective to the entire world of one ugly aspect of the current Egyptian uprising. I am awed that Ms. Logan continues to report, to do her job, despite what she has suffered. Way beyond bravo!
— The Curator
Women who use strap-on dildos to pleasure their partners are skilled and talented, but seldom discuss the — uh — ins and outs of the process.
A wonderful article was written by one woman who used the sex toy on a male friend-with-benefits. It is beyond worth reading. Not only is it sexy, but it discusses frankly and explicitly what strap-on sex can be like.
Lesbians have long used strap-ons, and so have gays, but both seldom write about their experiences. It is even more rare for a woman to write about pleasing a male with a strap-on. It takes trust for a man to be penetrated in this manner, and real control on the woman's part to do it correctly.
There are many, many men — married men or with women partners — whose fantasy is being pleasured in this way, but feel shame in admitting, or asking their partners to do it. There are also a huge number of heterosexual women who would like to pleasure their males by using a strap-on, but are also too inhibited to talk about it.
I think that's quite sad. In a sex positive environment, committed partners should be able to frankly discuss all of their sexual needs/fantasies without judgment. I hope this article helps couples begin a discussion about this legitimate way to have GREAT sex.
So, kudos to writer Anna Pulley of AlterNet for "going there." Read the story in its entirety here, or at its website.
Sex With a Strap On: The Politics of Penetration
What gender dynamics and stereotypes are exposed and undercut in sexual role reversal?
By Anna Pulley of AlterNet
“I think you’re the one,” he said. We were taking a break from a marathon fuck fest, sweaty, spent, and lying on our sides when he said those words to me, words that I’d been told every girl wanted to hear at some point in their lives. Except, of course, Seth wasn’t my boyfriend, and he wasn’t professing his undying love for me. He was my friend with benefits, and he was trying to convince me to don a strap-on and do him in the ass. After he told me I was “the one,” it wasn’t just my ego I wanted him to stroke. What are friends for, I thought, if not to tell you when you have spinach in your teeth and to give you an occasional reach around?
I had been trying to get Seth to let me do him in the butt for years, way before we started sleeping together. He was, in fact, dating a girl I was in love with when we first met in Tucson. They came down from Phoenix for a party I was having, and after a jug of Carlo Rossi wine, I pulled out my box of sex toys (like ya do), including a garishly pink rubber dildo and thong harness that I bought on the clearance rack at Fascinations. The first time I tried it on I felt like I was on American Gladiators. All I needed was to draw some stars on my ass and I’d be ready to joust. Aside from its hideous color, which I assumed was to make it seem less threatening, less male, and therefore more acceptable to impale somebody with, it was very versatile. This particular strap-on came with a vibrator, a vibrator pocket that nestled right up next to my clit, a hooked nose for g-spot stimulation, and a nob right about where a partner’s clit should be. It was like a one-man band, or a really thoughtful rhinoceros. In my extreme inebriation, I thought it neither tactless nor gross to lend my friends the strap-on I fucked my girlfriend with on a semi-regular basis in order to take Seth’s anal virginity. The look on his face told me immediately that that was not going to happen, and I tried to seem less disappointed than I actually was.
Years later, Seth and I reconnected in San Francisco, and after a fairly traumatic break up with my girlfriend of two-and-a-half years who decided she wanted to be straight, he and I ended up in bed together (like ya do). After a long and varied sex session that lasted several hours, he popped the strap-on question. “I’ve had other girls try it, with limited success,” he said. “But you, I think you’re the one.”
I've often questioned the role of role playing in sex. How we are socially and behaviorally predisposed to certain inclinations, sexual or otherwise. How much did my status as a bottom — my desire to be dominated in bed — inhibit my use of strap-ons in erotic play, especially when submission, for me, was the ultimate erotic transgression? Women are socialized not to act, but to react, and this passivity and reticence in everyday occurrences often translates into the bedroom as well.
Think of the aggression gay men often display when seeking a sexual conquest and how women on all sides of the sexual spectrum tend to have a less aggressive approach to sex outside of love and commitment. Witness the polarities between Women Seeking Women and Men Seeking Men ads on Craigslist sometime, if you don’t believe me. Another example of this can be found in Lillian Faderman’s “Odd Girls and Twilight Lovers” where a lesbian sex-radical in the 80s advertised, “bare bottom spankings, immobilizing bondage, enemas, colonic irrigations, vaginal and rectal exams, dildos and vibrators” then ended with “and after I’ve endured what was bestowed upon me, comfort me in your loving arms. Long term relationship possible.”
Weirdly, I never felt truly confident strapping it on until I started using them on dudes. It always seemed kind of silly — a femme with a dick. I certainly never felt like a dude when I strapped, more like a wayward unicorn. A hot one though. An empowered unicorn. I associated power with masculinity, but I never felt masculine. I asked Seth if riding the brown caboose made him feel like he was giving something up. He said, “I don’t feel powerless. In my mind, whoever’s getting off the hardest is the one who’s most empowered, ultimately.”
Taking a man dirt-roading for a change isn’t just a fuck, but a mind fuck, and a powerful one at that. As one of my friends put it, “Topping someone much bigger than you as a woman is amazing. I may never beat you in arm wrestling, but I can fuck you in the ass. Can you imagine a 6'5" man with those legs up in the air? Beeeauuuuutiful.”
Seth owned his own dildo and strap-on, which was not only convenient, but a testament to his dedication to the craft. As soon as he brought it out, I became suddenly nervous. In all my years of fucking women with strap-ons, I’d had many flubs, faux pas, and episodes of even hurling dildos across rooms out of frustration. Also, even though I’m happy to take the reins in the sack whenever necessary, in my heart of hearts, I like to be taken, not the other way around. But Seth’s longing and experience as a receiver put me at ease, (it also didn’t hurt that I was several vodka gimlets deep at that point) and as I stepped into the harness and tightened the straps, the familiarity and breathlessness came rushing back. I lubed up the modestly-sized dildo as he readied himself on his back, knees hugging his chest to make room for me. The first shock of contact, of connection, is always exhilarating, and when it happened, I felt him stiffen slightly, then push back into me, emitting a soft, wordless sound. I went slowly at first, listening for his exhalations and murmurs of “That feels so good.” There’s nothing sexier than that first audible or physical release of inhibition, and I felt myself flush at the sound of his voice, the giving and the taking that was happening all at once. I angled slightly up toward him, held onto his outer thighs to steady myself, and in that small gesture, I heard his breath quicken, which in turn made my movements quicken as well. In that moment, he looked up at me, appreciative, contemplative maybe, and pushed the hair out of my face, which had swiftly become dampened with sweat.
I tried to keep my focus on his words, his movements, but I was also too turned on to really pay much attention. I felt both amazed and overwhelmed at this steamy subversiveness, something that rarely existed in my normal, day-to-day life.
None of the men I fucked ever felt ashamed or weird about it afterward. Indeed, they seemed to relish the opportunity to explore. It’s not very often, after all, that men are allowed to be sexually vulnerable. Admissions to even having such a desire often lead to the tiresome stereotype of closeted gayness. I asked Seth over beers recently if anyone ever assumed he was gay or bi because he liked strap-on sex. “I’m sure they do,” he said. “But I don’t talk about it publicly that often…just to reporters, and the entire Internet.”'
— The Curator
It's not just teens who need sex education, their parents and grandparents could use extensive courses in sensuality and pleasuring too, according to an intriguing study.
It is certainly not surprising to anyone who reads and follows sex-related information. In fact, sex educators have been advocating for adult and senior sex education offerings for years.
In a world that focuses on the youth of its generation, the sexual needs of older folks are often neglected. I am a senior, a 54-year-old woman, who is also disabled. The unmistakable message to me from society is that my sex life is o-v-e-r, kaput, fineto.
Well, hell no! In fact, I have a better sex life now than I did 20 years ago, before my disability began to intrude on all aspects of my life.
Sex IS life. To deny that to aging populations is to strip them of their humanity instead of their clothes. They need to know how their bodies work, and how to make them work to receive and give the ultimate pleasure possible.
The following article, from LiveScience, underscores not only the importance of sex throughout our lives, but an unusual venue that some people are getting sex ed: At home parties that sell sex toys
Read the article below in its entirety, or directly at its website. And remember, the only time you're too old to have sex is when you're too old to draw a breath!
Many adults in the dark when it comes to sex ed
Public health educators, hosts of sex toy parties aim to inform 'sexually illiterate' U.S. adults
By Stephanie Pappas for LiveScience
"When Patty Brisben got into sex toy sales in 1983, she promised herself that she'd learn as much as she could about human sexuality. It's a promise that has come in handy over the years, especially since she's launched her own in-home sex toy party company, Pure Romance — and as CEO, has found herself running a fleet of employees who are half-salespeople, half-sex educators.
"I have grown women, they could be 40 and 50 years old, that will come [to parties] and say they don't even know and understand their body parts," Brisben told LiveScience. "That's not good."
Discussions regarding sex education usually revolve around educating teenagers. But increasingly, sexual health researchers say, adults are in need of sex education, too. When Bill Taverner, director of The Center for Family Life Education at Planned Parenthood of Greater Northern New Jersey, spoke at his parents' retirement community about sexuality and aging recently, the crowd — all older adults — was bigger than the turnout of any other session ever scheduled by organizers.
"They let me keep talking for three hours," Taverner, the co-author of the Planned Parenthood-published book "Older, Wiser, Sexually Smarter" (2009), told LiveScience.
Sexual illiteracy
There are a few reasons why adults have burning questions about an act most have been practicing for years, researchers say. For one, formal sexual education is uneven. According to the Kaiser Family Foundation, in 2002, only 22 states and the District of Columbia mandate sex education in their public schools (35 states mandate lessons on HIV and sexually transmitted diseases). Many of those states require an abstinence focus; others leave the nuts and bolts of lesson planning to local districts, where quality varies, according to the Kaiser report.
The result is a "sexually illiterate" population of American adults, said Michael Reece, a professor of health at Indiana University.
"Most adults just don't have the basic education about their bodies, the bodies of their sexual partners, relationships, sexual behaviors," Reece said. "We really have this deficit, I would say, across the country."
Even if every teenager got the best sex education available, Taverner said, it wouldn't be enough. Advice given to teens won't be as useful at age 60 when you're dealing with the physical changes of aging.
'Teachable moments' at sex toy parties
That's where people like Brisben come in. Sex toy parties, it turns out, are what public health educators call "teachable moments." Much like the Tupperware parties of the 1950s, sex toy parties involve inviting a group of women (parties are almost always female-only affairs) into a hostess's home for a combination soiree and sales pitch — but instead of soup mugs and sandwich keepers, the products in question include lubricants and vibrators.
It could be just another example of sexual consumerism, but Brisben doesn't see it that way. She's partnered with Reece and his colleagues at Indiana University to provide online training for all Pure Romance salespeople. The training module, which includes text, video and quizzes, covers the gamut from relationships and communication to STDs and sexual arousal.
The idea, Brisben said, is to create a comfortable environment where women can ask questions and get good answers. The most common questions, she said, tend to be about lack of libido and pain during sex.
Sex ed in the golden years
Other educators are seeking out adults in venues that are rarely associated with sexual education: churches, retirement centers, volunteer organizations such as Kiwanis clubs — even nursing homes. Here, the seminars revolve around later-life dating, physical changes, and the need for intimacy and touch.
"The major sex education for older people is being done by the pharmaceutical community, and we're concerned that that focuses on some pill you take and doesn't get at the major issues, which have to do with relationships and communication," said Peggy Brick, a sex educator who co-authored "Older, Wiser, Sexually Smarter" with Taverner. Brick also founded the Widener University Consortium on Sexuality and Aging, a group dedicated to sex education for older adults.
"My main theme is that people need new expectations," Brick told LiveScience. "If they expect sex to be like it was when they were a teenager, they're going to be disappointed. It's different, and in fact it can be considerably better, but people have to understand the changes."
One example of such a change is what's known as the refractory period for men, Taverner said. The refractory period refers to the time men need after an orgasmbefore they're physically capable of orgasming again. For male teens, the refractory period could last just minutes, while it could take days for older men.
"If no one has ever sat down with a man to talk about this important change, he would very understandably think that something is wrong with him," Taverner said.
Besides running sex-ed courses for older adults, Brick runs trainings for caregivers in nursing homes and long-term care facilities. Staff may not understand that elderly people are sexual beings who need space to build intimate relationships, she said.
Ageism is a big problem when dealing with sexual education for older adults, Taverner said. Sex is portrayed on television and in movies as the domain of the young and pretty, he said, which can trigger body image issuesin older people. And young people underestimate how sexual older generations are, Taverner said. When teaching college students, he often asks them to think about how sexual they'll be in 50 years.
"Most of them give themselves high marks," he said.
But when he asks them to think about how sexual their grandparents or older acquaintances are, the numbers drop precipitously.
"People have an internal sense that we all want to be sexual beings throughout our lives, but we don't like to think of older adults as sexual beings," Taverner said. "We often think of the sexuality of older adults as something to joke about."
To Pure Romance's Brisben, any opportunity to educate is a good one. She's seen more discussion of sexual problems on television, she said, which she sees as a good sign that people are "opening up those doors."
"Everybody has sex, everybody does!" Brisben said. "It's part of what happens in life, and so if you don't take responsibility and you don't ask these questions, it's going to continue to be the ugly elephant in the room."'
— The Curator
