Monday, June 14, 2010

How Sex Works: Knowing the Science Makes Sex Better

Science tells us that we all come from hermaphrodites, organisms with both male and female reproductive organs, totally bi-sexual at conception.

This means that we are not only a male/female sexual whole, but that each of us also carries our opposite gender's basic sexuality within our own bodies – our very DNA.

Knowing anatomy opens each of us to the sexual desires and pleasures of our opposite-sex partner, forever changing the way we view our lover's body...and our own. It also provides real understanding for everyone, regardless of their sexual orientation or gender.

Science offers the ultimate equality of the sexes, because orgasm and sexual function are NOT dependent on gender, but on knowing how to make our bodies perform to their maximum potential.

I have been deeply troubled by a recent spate of blogs that fail to reflect the current medical understanding of sexual health, including orgasm and the scientific proof that the G-spot in women and men exist.

“There is hard science behind all of this,” recently proclaimed America’s doctor, Mehmet Oz, best-selling author and the popular host of a mainstream medical daytime-TV series.

The basic lack of sexual health knowledge has caused the sex-help genre to burst onto the scene, overflowing bookshelves like a damaged condom. There have been more of these published on how to jump-start the jumping, than there are vibrator batteries in the landfill. If those books worked, then why are so many titles added each month?

I believe they do not work because they do not teach how to give and receive real pleasure based on this scientific understanding of gender and sexuality. In other words: We just do not know how our sexual anatomy really works.

Our common scientific misconception is that we are 'mono-gender' – either solely male or solely female. This translates into viewing men and women and their bodies as different as night and day. In the bedroom, this leads to a host of problems:

"I don't know how to please my partner."
"I'm not sure what turns him on."
"I haven't a clue what she wants."

The scientific truth is that the reproductive systems of both males and females are of the same biological origin. The term for corresponding body parts is 'homologous,' meaning that they are alike in structure and in origin, though not necessarily in function. As a result, similar body part structure elicit the same basic sexual responses in both men and women.

The realization of the sexual sameness between the genders provides a better understanding of how to relate to each other, to members of our own gender, and even provides a deeper understanding of our own nature.

Male and female physiology – including sexual and reproductive organs – stem from the same basic organ tissue.

The first clue to sexual sameness lies in DNA. Gender is determined by two chromosomes – X (female) and Y (male). Both genders have the same base X chromosome. Added to that, men have a Y, while women have a second X. Thus men are XY and women are XX.

The base X (present in both genders), together with all the non-sex chromosomes, is capable of evolving as either male or female; the Y chromosome simply acts as a modulator that stimulates it to evolve as male. If the modulator is absent (i.e. in an XX female), the X evolves to a female.

Gender sexual sameness holds true not only for external sex organs, but also to a great extent for the internal reproductive system.

Science tells us that from the moment of conception to about seven weeks of age, male and female reproductive anatomies are the same. The primary sex glands – gonads – are undifferentiated; they will develop into either male testes, or female ovaries. The reproductive support systems match too.

Over the next several months, one gender evolves while the other regresses, but leaves a vestige, or remnant part, in the opposite gender. In other words, if you're male, the female system regresses, but leaves remnants in your body. Females likewise have male reproductive vestiges in their bodies. We carry these vestiges for the remainder of our lives.

Men and women exhibit the same sexual anatomy, in modified form. For purposes of this discussion, we are going to focus on a man’s penis and prostate gland, and a woman’s clitoris and so-called prostate gland, or G-spot.

Like their common internal reproductive system, men and women begin fetal life with the same external genitalia. The main feature is the 'genital tubercle,' a protrusion that for men grows into the penile glans (head), and for women recedes as the clitoral glans.

The remaining parts are also homologous. The urogenital opening becomes the female labial opening, while in men it fuses to become the phallic raphe, or the seam running down the center of the underside. The genital swelling forms the female labia majora, or outer lips, which is homologous to the male scrotal sac. It remains split in women, forming the vulval opening, while fusing in men to form the scrotal raphe. The urogenital folds develop into the visible male foreskin, and female labia minora and clitoral hood.

Incredibly is the internal development of the urogenital folds. Beneath the skin, they grow into the male phallic shaft and the hidden portion of the female clitoris. These contain homologous erectile tissue, which swells when stimulated, becoming engorged. Yes, that means a woman can and does, like men, become 'erect' when her clitoris is stimulated.

In fact, the length of the clitoral corpus cavernosum can be 3 or more inches, much nearer to penis size than the clitoral head makes it appear.

Thus the science of the penis and clitoris, along with their common anatomical origin, leads to a startling conclusion: The penis is not male, nor is the clitoris female – they are the same sexual organ that develops slightly differently in each gender. Both men and women go through life with this same major sex organ.

In fact, the single greatest difference between the penis and the clitoris is that the penis is mainly external, while the clit is mostly internal. Even that distinction is minor, considering that both the penis and clitoris are partly exposed and partly hidden, giving rise to both inner and outer erogenous zones for each gender.

Any simple reference confirms the correspondence of these two sexual organs. The Random House Unabridged Dictionary defines clitoris as: "The erectile organ of the vulva, homologous to the penis of the male."

Because the clitoris is a homolog of the penis, every woman has a complete set of sexual organs within her. Her 'penis' (clitoris) descends internally, enveloping her vagina. This is a natural, permanent condition, whether she is engaged in sex or not.

For two millennia the clitoris was a "little hill" – the meaning of kleitoris, its root word in Greek.

But it was Australian urologist Dr Helen O'Connell who revealed the clitoris’ true shape and size, forcing the re-writing of anatomy books and a re-imagining by medical professionals.

"The vaginal wall is, in fact, the clitoris," said Dr. O'Connell, who is based in Melbourne. "If you lift the skin off the vagina on the side walls, you get the bulbs of the clitoris – triangular, crescental masses of erectile tissue."

“The sex industry has known about this for some time,” notes Fiona Patten, of the Eros Association, Australia's adult retail and entertainment organization. "You only have to look at the adult products on the market to see that they are not designed to find some tiny button at the top of the vagina. They're designed to stimulate a much larger area."

The full clitoris is actually shaped like a wishbone with its ‘legs’ (right crus + left crus = crura) extending down on either side of the vagina and containing spongy tissue (corpus cavernosum) that engorges with blood upon arousal, just like a penile erection.

[See the above illustrations]

(Important FYI: It now appears, that women who can consistently orgasm with vaginal penetration alone have a vaginal opening that’s closer to the clitoris than women who cannot. Meaning, when a cock or a dildo is used to penetrate these type of women, their clitoris is stimulated at the same time. Most women are NOT built this way, and cannot orgasm with vaginal penetration alone. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THESE WOMEN, they should simply add clitoral play into their sex lives.)

There is one final correspondence revealed by the urethral sponge, which includes the erogenous zones known as the G-spot in women, and the P-spot in men.

In women, the Skene’s glands are embedded within the urethral sponge, combining to comprise the female version of this sexual zone. The male G-Spot has a near identical setup. A mass of urethral sponge at the man’s perineum sits just below his prostate. Because the male and female features are homologous, it's not surprising that they share a similar proximity to each other as well, which contributes to their very similar function.

In both men and women, the immediate proximity of the urethral sponge to the ejaculatory gland plays a role in its sexual response. Pleasuring the erectile sponge stimulates nerve endings in the region, which contracts the pelvic muscles and the gland itself to induce orgasm. This may or may not be accompanied by ejaculation in both genders.

In the case of ejaculation, the urethra within the spongy erectile tissue plays a common role too. The man ejaculates prostatic fluid (mixed with sperm and other fluids) through his urethra. Her Skene's glands ejaculate their similar fluid (without sperm, of course) through her urethra. (Most of her Skene's ducts open into her urethra; typically, she has two additional openings between her labia lips, shown in transparent outline above.)

Both the G- and P- spots are located inside the body, accessible to massage in both men and women, through the urethral sponge. His erectile tissue is just under the skin at the perineum, while hers is massaged through her upper vaginal wall.

[See the above illustrations]

While many think it derived its name because stroking it can lead to Gee-Wiz or Golly-Gee Orgasms for some women, the truth is that the female G-spot was named after the doctor who first theorized of its existence.

Dr. Ernst Grafenberg first theorized in the 1950’s that the spot, actually an area, existed and it was his surname that the "Grafenberg Spot" or G-spot was named after. In medical terms, it is a spongy tissue of the paraurethral gland, making it pretty much the equivalent of the male prostate.

You can explore your G-spot, or urethral sponge, with a firm, curved dildo or your fingers. Insert your fingers or dildo, aiming for the front wall of the vagina. Stroke this area with a "come hither" motion. If you use your fingers, you'll feel the difference in texture between this area, which is rough, and the rest of the vaginal walls, which are smooth. Some women like to stimulate the opening of the vagina just below the urethra. You can also press down on your pelvis with your free hand, applying pressure just above the pubic bone. Stimulate your G-spot until you feel intensely turned on and like you're about to pee. As you approach orgasm, push out, as if urinating. The stream you produce is ejaculate and NOT urine.

A rectal massage is a very sensual way to please your male lover. Massaging the area by prostate gland releases tremendous amounts of emotional and physical stress and, coupled with stimulation of his penis, can be extremely pleasurable. Though it may sound intimidating if this is your first foray into this kind of sex play, it’s actually rather simple to do.

There is also a feature of our secondary sex anatomy, the breasts, that underscores our sexual sameness. Perhaps more than the sex anatomy itself, the breasts show that every human being has the potential to be both male and female. For while the genitalia are modified homologs, men and women are born with identical breasts. Men, like women, not only have nipples, but also mammary glands behind them.

For the purposes of the remainder of this discussion, we are going to focus solely on the penis, clitoris, G- and P- spots.

Male-female sexual sameness is not some arcane biological trivia that is irrelevant to life. Unlike most 'obscure' science, your shared sexuality has great application: It enhances your sex life. Your sexual sameness helps you know, understand, and feel your partner's sexual response. You can better pleasure your lover simply by knowing your own sexual pleasure.

You only need know two correspondences to aid your sex life. They pertain to the two main erogenous zones in men and women. Each sensual zone has a homologous pair:

Erogenous Zone 1: Penis and Clitoris
Erogenous Zone 2: Female G-Spot and Male P-Spot

A close look reveals a near identical sexual response induced by stimulating the homologs of each zone.

Erogenous Zone 1: The penis and clitoris are highly excitable organs that stimulate quickly, become engorged when aroused, and rapidly lead to frantic release (orgasm.)
Erogenous Zone 2: Both the G- and P-spots are slow to arouse, giving deeper, longer-lasting pleasure.

Note that the sexual response of organs in each zone is essentially the same, but that the response of organs in Zone 1 is opposite the organs in Zone 2. This will better help understand your partner, regardless of gender.

Knowing that her clitoris responds like his penis allows each person inside their lover's body to know his/her desires, needs, and pleasure. Men better understand why women enjoy clitoral stimulation, and women better sense the pleasure he feels when his penis is stroked.

This similarity applies even to the pleasure felt from specific types of stimulation. For example, women can understand the exquisite pleasure men feel when the head of the penis is stroked or licked from the underside up – it's the same thing she feels when her clitoris is stroked upward. Likewise, licking in a circle around her clit feels much the same as doing so around the head of his penis. Even the added pleasure of warm, wet oral pleasuring, compared to manual stimulation, is similar for both sexes. To know why your lover prefers your tongue to your hand, just remember the greater pleasure either stimulation brings to you.

G- and P-spot similarity in men and women provides similar insight. You sense how G- or P-spot massage feels for your lover because you know how the corresponding massage feels.

Not only do you sense your partner's desire and pleasure by understanding your sexual sameness, but also you can also better understand, and resolve, sexual differences that might arise. A frequent issue between heterosexual couples surrounds that he's often done when she's just getting started.

Hurt feelings result, and 'experts' give all sorts of reasons for it, ranging from hormone differences to evolutionary causes. But sexual anatomy gives the simple – and obvious – explanation. It also gives the easy answer:

He finishes first during intercourse because his fast organ (penis) is paired up with her slow one! (clitoris). Or expressed differently, he's using his Zone 1 organ, while she's using her Zone 2 organ. Intercourse stimulates his penis, but does little for her matching organ, the clitoris. For her, the motion of his penis massages her G-spot through the upper wall of her vagina, slowly arousing her in Zone 2 fashion. But he is oblivious to this 'slow cooking' because common intercourse doesn't stimulate his own P-spot.

The solution is equally clear: spend more time stimulating corresponding sex organs so that both partners rise to climax together. Give her some Zone 1 attention, and tend to his Zone 2. Clitoral stimulation will speed her up, and P-spot massage will slow him down. This not only lets you climax together, but also lets you share a similar sexual experience along the way.

While the experience is more frustrating for women because they don't climax, the issue is most challenging for men, who can't seem to understand why women are so slow to arouse. To get it, he has only to ask himself this: how much sex satisfaction would I get if my penis were untouched? That is exactly what women experience when their clitoris is left out. Her clitoris is the same sex organ as his penis. This is why so many women request – even demand – clitoral foreplay before intercourse. And why, if they don't get it, they may not be completely satisfied by the main event. If he thinks in terms of sexual sameness, he'll be more likely to give what he understands and wants to receive.

Other examples include the male 'once and done' vs. female multiple orgasm. Here, the highly excitable penis explodes in climax and feels done, while the slow rolling G-spot goes on and on and on. This difference greatly diminishes when you stimulate organs of the same erogenous zone. Women are more likely to feel 'done' after a clitoral orgasm, like a man. Conversely, many men can enjoy multiple rolling orgasms via P-spot massage.

This is even indicated by parallel sensations at orgasm. Both the penis and clitoris often become too sensitive to be touched when brought to climax manually, contributing to the 'done' feeling. In contrast, G- and P-spot pleasure tends to increase with each successive climax.

Another example is genital orgasm vs. so-called “full-body” orgasm, often typically a male vs. female phenomenon. All sensation focuses on the highly excitable penis for him, leading to orgasmic pleasure concentrated in that region. In contrast, her G-spot stimulation sends deep waves of pleasure throughout her body, which, when they build to climax, she experiences as full-body orgasm. This distinction entirely disappears by stimulating organs of the same zone. She, like him, will have a more localized 'Zone 1' orgasm if her clit alone is stimulated. And he, like her, can enjoy full-body orgasm through ‘Zone 2’ P-spot massage.

One last example is the male physical orgasm vs. the female emotional/spiritual one. Once again, his highly sensitive penis feels mainly physical sensation, while her G-spot can stir up deep emotional and spiritual experiences. Again too, the difference vanishes by stimulating same-zone organs. Her clitoral climax is more physical, like a man's. His P-spot orgasm is more spiritual, and can be deeply emotive.

Some last notes:

Stimulating the G-spot is recommended once women is already fully excited (i.e. her clitoris is erect, vulva fully engorged with blood, and her vagina is naturally or supplementally lubricated). Continue the G-spot until she begins to feel pleasure.

As mentioned, by stimulating the G-spot, pressure is being applied to the walls of the bladder, so it is normal that some women feel a need to urinate. The sensation generally ends as stimulation is continued. You can always urinate before performing this sexual technique, but the sensation my occur regardless.

Although the standard Missionary position is one of the most popular ways to make love, it is one of the worst positions to hit the G-spot during intercourse. But don't worry, there are many other sexual positions that can help to easily stimulate the G-spot! (And no, you don't have to perform any complex Kamautra positions.)

One of the best G-spot positions is the "doggy style," because it allows the man's penis more direct access to the front wall of the vagina, where the G-spot can be easily stimulated during thrusting.

Other sexual positions good for G-spot stimulation are those in which the woman is on top, or the woman or is penetrated from behind. (Note: Great success can be achieved with a man using his penis, or a woman with a dildo or strap-on pleasuring another woman.)

— The Curator


  1. Really it’s a nice site explaining almost all the sex tips to be smart and attractive women. Thanks for your sharing information. I am really satisfied with the facts giving on your site.

  2. Correction?

    "He finishes first during intercourse because his fast organ (penis) is paired up with her slow one! (clitoris)."

    should read as:

    "He finishes first during intercourse because his fast organ (penis) is paired up with her slow one (G-Spot)!"