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The body of a New Jersey University freshman who jumped off a bridge last week and committed suicide after his roommate secretly streamed on the Internet a live recording of him having sex with another man was recovered from the Hudson River by authorities yesterday afternoon.
Tyler Clementi, only 18 and an accomplished violinist, had been attending Rutgers University, in New Brunswick, N.J. On Sept. 22, he plunged off the George Washington Bridge in New York City after struggling with the alleged video disclosure.
He posted, “Jumping off the gw bridge sorry” to his Facebook page, then tragically did just that.
Police have charged his roommate, Dharun Ravi, with privacy violations and related offenses, for using "the camera to view and transmit a live image." Middlesex County Prosecutor Bruce Kaplan noted it's a fourth-degree crime, "to collect or view images depicting nudity or sexual content of an individual without that person's consent. The crime becomes a third-degree offense if the images are transmitted or distributed." The third-degree offense carries a maximum five years in prison if convicted.
Ravi allegedly activated his camcorder that captured Clementi and an unnamed man from another computer in the Rutger’s dorm room of a friend of Ravi’s, Michelle “Molly” Wei, whose room was across the hall. Wei has also been charged with the same spying offenses.
I believe both, who are also 18, should also be charged with having committed a hate crime, which would bump the fourth-degree offense to a third-degree, negating the need to prove the recording was distributed.
What happened to Clementi should NEVER happen to anyone, regardless of their sexual orientation, or behavior. Our society has failed abysmally to keep up with the harmful and criminal uses of technology; we have failed ethically, morally and especially within the criminal justice system.
Reality Shows like Big Brother and their ilk give their subtle and not so subtle imprimatur on inappropriate invasion of privacy, and a host of other bad behaviors suddenly seen as OK, and even hip. Those types of TV shows, as well as the timber of much of the conversation-dialog within U.S. culture right now, in effect dehumanizes our own citizens. Exploitation is funny and very, very cool – whether it’s the voyeurism of celebrities, the neighbors next door, or university roommates. And, if sex is involved, the more the better!
I’m sure Clementi’s tormentors didn’t foresee his death, but they had to know that he would be distraught over their alleged illegal actions, especially since his sexuality and orientation was unknown within their campus community.
Nine out of 10 gay, lesbian and bisexual students are bullied in school, according to a 2007 survey by the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network. And they are four times more likely to attempt suicide, according to a 2007 Massachusetts youth risk survey.
Gay activist David Savage said, "What gay and lesbian kids most fear is rejection by their family, rejection at the hands of their friends, judgment from their preachers and their teachers."
A Clementi family lawyer released a statement saying, "Tyler was a fine young man and a distinguished musician. The family is heartbroken beyond words."
Read additional details in the blog below by Kashmir Hill of Forbes, or directly at her website:
Tyler Clementi Turned To A Gay Message Forum For Help Before His Suicide
It’s a tragic technological story heard round the world — a college freshman’s Webcam spying leading to a suicidal jump from the George Washington Bridge. Dharun Ravi, a freshman at Rutgers University, used his Macbook to stream video of his gay roommate having “a sexual encounter” in their room on September 19. The roommate, Tyler Clementi, did not know that he was being watched or taped. Sadly, he apparently did not notice the green light on Ravi’s laptop camera turn on when Ravi activated it from another computer in friend Molly Wei’s room across the hall.
Ravi invited other friends to watch the stream on iChat, and planned a second viewing on September 21st when Clementi again indicated he’d like the room to himself for a few hours, tweeting that day, “Anyone with iChat, I dare you to video chat me between the hours of 9:30 and 12. Yes it’s happening again.” It appears from a gay message forum that Clementi was already on to his roommate by that time.
The New Jersey police have charged Ravi (and Wei) with criminal invasion of privacy, which carries a maximum sentence of five years in prison according to the New York Times, and a possible $30,000 fine according to the New Jersey criminal code. As my colleague Andy Greenberg points out, some of the same technologies that facilitated Ravi’s invasion of Clementi’s privacy will now help prove his guilt in the case — Ravi’s Twitter feed. Ravi deleted it, but police can get it from Twitter, or Google cache, or one of the Twitter tracking sites like Topsy. As I’ve said before, deletion on the Internet is futile.
Clementi also has a digital trail on the Internet, and it appears that he knew his roommate had filmed him after the first September 19th incident.
A month-old tweet from Ravi indicates he discovered his roommate’s sexuality based on comments Clementi made on a gay message forum. Ravi tweeted on August 22, “Found out my roommate is gay,” and linked to a post he said was Clementi’s on JustUsBoys. It’s the same forum that Clementi appears to have turned to after discovering he’d been spied on. As Gawker noted, a user on the forum by the name of “cit2mo” posted a thread “college roommate spying…..” on September 21 at 7:22 a.m.
[JustUsBoys post show above.]
“so the other night i had a guy over. I had talked to my roommate that afternoon and he had said it would be fine w/him. I checked his twitter today. he tweeted that I was using the room (which is obnoxious enough), AND that he went into somebody else’s room and remotely turned on his webcam and saw me making out with a guy. given the angle of the webcam I can be confident that that was all he could have seen.
so my question is what next?
I could just be more careful next time…make sure to turn the cam away…buttt…I’m kinda pissed at him (rightfully so I think, no?) and idk…if I could…it would be nice to get him in trouble
but idk if I have enough to get him in trouble, i mean…he never saw anything pornographic…he never recorded anything…
I feel like the only thing the school might do is find me another roommate, probably with me moving out…and i’d probably just end up with somebody worse than him….I mean aside from being an asshole from time to time, he’s a pretty decent roommate...
the other thing is I that don’t wanna report him and then end up with nothing happening except him getting pissed at me…”
Other users advised him to report it to the school and make sure his roommate’s computer was closed during future encounters. Cit2mo replied:
“I feel like it was “look at what a fag my roommate is” –other people have commented on his profile with things like “how did you manage to go back in there?” “are you ok?”
“and the fact that the people he was with saw my making out with a guy as the scandal whereas i mean come on…he was SPYING ON ME….do they see nothing wrong with this?
unsettling to say the least….
so I decided to fill out the room change request form….its not guaranteed that you get a change…and i don’t have to switch if I change my mind or work things out over the next week (they won’t start filling requests until next week)…but I figure I might as well as see what they can offer me….”
More users advised him of the illegality of this video voyeurism. A famous case of this, of course, is that of Erin Andrews. The man who made peephole videos of her undressing was ultimately sentenced to 30 months in prison. Cit2mo responds:
“oh yah, on the school website it says recording people where there is an expectation of privacy (bathroom bedroom etc) without the consent of everyone involved could….COULD…..result in being expelled
the only things is…there are too many ‘could’s ….the fact that he didn’t ACTUALLY record me (to my knowledge) and the fact that the school really prolly won’t do much of anything...
but anyway, i’ll be talking to my RA later today for sure...
and yah, revenge never ends well for me, as much as I would love to pour pink paint all over his stuff…..that would just let him win...”
Cit2mo did end up going to the RA after Ravi’s tweet on September 21st:
“so I wanted to have the guy over again.
I texted roomie around 7 asking for the room later tonight and he said it was fine.
when I got back to the room I instantly noticed he had turned the webcam toward my bed. And he had posted online again….saying….”anyone want a free show just video chat me tonight”…or something similar to that….
soooo after that…..
I ran to the nearest RA and set this thing in motion…..we’ll see what happens……
I haven’t even seen my roommate since sunday when i was asking for the room the first time…and him doing it again just set me off….so talking to him just didn’t seem like an option….
meanwhile I turned off and unplugged his computer, went crazy looking for other hidden cams….and then had a great time.”
Cit2mo’s last posting to the site on the morning of September 22nd indicates that he emailed an RA a paragraph about what had happened. Though he seemed calm and collected in his postings to JustUsBoys, that night, he posted “Jumping off the gw bridge sorry” to his Facebook, and committed suicide.
These digital trails may answer questions that could not be answered otherwise. A big question now is why Clementi’s resident advisor did not get Clementi moved out of that room immediately.
In addition to the criminal charges arising from this, there will be civil lawsuits. Rutgers University may find itself the target of a civil lawsuit. And Clementi’s family and perhaps Clementi’s unnamed romantic partner of September 19 will surely sue Ravi, and perhaps Wei, for invasion of privacy. In a similar case in Kansas, a man was ordered to pay $55,000 after distributing naked photos of his ex-girlfriend via email. The claims were invasion of privacy and infliction of severe emotional distress.
Another case that comes to mind involving Webcam spying and schools is the famous case out of Philadelphia, where a high school handed out laptops and then activated cameras remotely without informing the students using them. In that case, prosecutors dropped the criminal charges, finding no criminal intent in the “spying.” Ravi will not likely be so lucky.
~~~~~~~~
We need to understand that the abuse that Clementi suffered by the deliberate, even cavalier exploitation of his privacy could occur to any one of us. Every person has something that is so private, so intimate, so potentially embarrassing that its disclosure without our permission would cause extreme emotional distress.
What are we doing? What the hell are we doing?
— The Curator
The Iranian woman’s whose sentence of death by stoning for alleged adultery triggered a worldwide outcry will apparently instead be hanged to death, accused of complicity in the murder of her husband.
This is shocking, and beyond tragic. I deeply respect Islamic law, but this decision appears to be purely a political reaction to the furor that the initial sentence caused.
When I began this blog, I created my alter ego, “The Curator,” who would lead readers through the amazing and varied world of sexual behavior and beliefs without judgment, with as much neutrality as possible.
Not this time.
I had done this because I felt there were too many loud opinions about anything and everything and not enough information conveyed in markedly egocentric blogs. I wanted readers to decide how they felt, working hard to make The Curator as unobtrusive as possible, even invisible rather than a part of the process.
Not this time.
Here are the facts: The attorney general of Iran announced yesterday that Sakineh Ashtiani Mohamadi has been sentenced to death for the second crime of complicity to murder and will die by hanging.
It is important to note that in earlier governmental statements, the woman had supposedly been pardoned on the murder charge, but convicted of simple adultery.
According to a report released yesterday by Iranian Mehr News Agency, the Prosecutor General of Iran, Gholam-Hossein Mohseni-Eje'i said. "According to the court's decision she has been found guilty of murder and the penalty for this crime takes precedence over the previous charge of adultery."
The court's decision prevents the woman from being stoned to death, but not from dying, since murder in Iran is punishable by hanging.
"The question should not be politicized. The Iranian judiciary system cannot be influenced by the propaganda campaign waged in the West," Mohseni-Eje'i added.
Several months ago the accused, Mohamadi, 43, had been convicted of adultery and sentenced to execution by stoning. The sentence sparked a wave of international criticism and protests, forcing the Iran regime to suspend the sentence and state that it would be reviewed.
Reports have indicated that a woman identified as Ashtiani, confessed on Iranian State TV a few days ago of having had a relationship with a man outside marriage and having participated in the death of her husband.
The Iranian regime also accused last week Ashtiani’s lawyer of having used the trial, which triggered worldwide interest, for his own benefit by applying for political asylum in Norway, where he is now with his family.
"The lawyer tried to politicize the case when he said that his life was in danger because he was defending a woman, but his arguments only go after his personal interests," said Ramin Mehmanparast, Iranian Minister of Foreign Relations, is his weekly press conference.
Last week, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad reiterated that in Iran there is no death sentence, but then compared Ashtiani’s case with that of Teresa Lewis, the woman who was executed last Thursday in Virginia, United States, for a similar offense.
Iran, the United States, China and Saudi Arabia are the countries where most capital punishments are applied.
Here is more information on the case from the original, earlier governmental and media accounts:
Sakineh Mohammadi-Ashtiani, a 43-year-old mother of two, was convicted on May 15, 2006 of having an "illicit relationship" with two men, according to Amnesty International and her lawyer.
She has now been sentenced to death by stoning.
Her lawyer, Mohommad Mostafaei, said Mohammadi-Ashtiani confessed to the crime after being subjected to 99 lashes. She later recanted that confession and has denied wrongdoing, he said.
Her conviction was based not on evidence but on the determination of three out of five judges, he added. She has asked forgiveness from the court but the judges refused to grant clemency. Iran's supreme court upheld the death conviction in 2007.
Apparently, Iran was reviewing that sentence of stoning, a rights official said, but her lawyer warned that there was no guarantee the execution would be halted.
Mohammad Javad Larijani, Iran's top human rights official, said that the verdict of death by stoning against Mohammadi-Ashtiani is being reviewed by the judiciary.
"She was sentenced to 90 lashes by one court and stoning by another. The verdict is under revision," Larijani was quoted as saying by state news agency IRNA.
He said the chief of Iran's judiciary, Ayatollah Sadegh Larijani, was of the opinion that it was preferable to use another penalty instead of stoning, "and that is true for Ms. Mohammadi-Ashtiani."
Larijani did not say what penalty she could face instead, but added: "The penalty of stoning exists under the law but the judges rarely use it."
Mostafai told news agencies that he had yet to receive any official confirmation that the stoning sentence had been revised.
"There is no guarantee that it will be halted," he said.
"Sentences such as stoning will be closely reviewed and probably changed," Larijani told Iran's Islamic Republic News Agency.
In London protesters waved flags and chanted anti-government slogans to the beat of a drum in front of the Iranian Embassy. They condemned executions in Iran – by stoning and hanging.
But Larijani said protests from outside Iran will not affect Ashtiani's case.
"The Western attacks have no effect on the opinion of our judges," he told the news agency.
Larijani's comments seemed to contradict Iran's public statements made from its embassy in London that strongly suggested Mohammadi-Ashtiani would not be stoned.
The public statement said, "this mission denies the false news aired in this respect and...according to information from the relevant judicial authorities in Iran, she will not be executed by stoning punishment.
"It is notable that this kind of punishment has rarely been implemented in Iran and various means and remedies must be probed and exhausted to finally come up with such a punishment," the embassy statement concluded.
Mohammadi-Ashtiani's son, Sajjad Mohammedie Ashtiani, who appealed to Iran's courts to spare his mother's life and also appealed to the world for help via Twitter, said he won't accept any decision short of his mother's freedom.
Through human rights activist Mina Ahadi, the son said he would be satisfied only when Iran's judiciary officially drops the charges against her.
Ahadi has said that only an international campaign designed to pressure the Islamic regime in Tehran could save Mohammadi-Ashtiani's life.
"Legally, it's all over," said Ahadi, who heads the International Committee Against Stoning and the Death Penalty, earlier this week.
Mohammadi-Ashtiani's son wrote in an open letter to government officials that there was neither evidence nor legal grounds for his mother's conviction and sentence. He said the family has traveled six times from their home in Tabriz to Tehran to speak with Iranian officials, but in vain.
Amnesty said she received flogging of 99 lashes as per her sentence but was subsequently accused of "adultery while being married" in September 2006 during the trial of a man accused of murdering her husband.
Mostafai said his client knew the man who, "killed her husband and because she was at home when the murder took place, she was accused as accomplice."
She was pardoned on the murder charges, but then was accused of adultery with that man, Mostafai said.
Mostafai added that such cases involving women in Iran arise due to difficulties in getting divorces with husbands despite, "having troubled marriages."
Enough! Enough fear. Enough pain. Enough agony. Enough torture. Enough death. E-NOUGH misery imposed by cowardly dictators hiding behind the safety net of blind religious tradition and the faithful.
I am a tolerant person. I believe that all countries have the right of autonomy, that religion is personal and should be left to believers to choose or reject, and that WEST does not always equal BEST.
I am not a Christian; I am not a Jew; I am not a Muslim. I do not follow any of the Abrahamic faith paths. I am not speaking out as an American, or a proponent of any political ideology. I am speaking simply as a human being, reaching out to other human beings. I am literally on my knees. I beg Iran and all Iranians to spare this woman as was promised. Please. Please.
— The Curator
No, I do not like bumming goats, but apparently a lot of folks who were on Twitter over the weekend admitted that they do.
Obviously it was the latest worm to hit the monster social network in two weeks, and caused a furor that went viral when uncounted throngs of users inadvertently made the startling – and troubling – bestiality admission.
Everyone quickly understood it was a hoax, so the few, the proud and the obscene turned it into a barrage of even sicker humor.
By late yesterday, Twitter had assured users that the worm had been squashed. Here’s a popular blog that described it:
Technolog
By Athima Chansanchai
We are all slaves to temptation. Let's face it, when something even remotely piques our interest, we have to touch it, or in modern times, click on the WTF link.
Because we're children, you see, and we have to know what that's about. On Twitter yesterday, clicking on that link yielded retweets stating, "I like anal sex with goats." (Today, it's become elevated to "love," but I think it's just some people having fun with it now.) Even if you happen to indulge in that particular fetish, you probably don't want the whole world knowing about it. But too many people were tweeting it out for it to be some kind of dramatic, en-masse pro-goat-sex demonstration.
It didn't have the meltdown effect of last week's "Twitter OnMouseOver Incident," but it did highlight, once again, the vulnerabilities in the Twitterverse.
This particular worm had a few different layers to it.
TechCrunch broke it down:
“Either a lot of Techies are into really kinky things, or there is a Twitter worm going around. It looks like a ton of people just started sending out Tweets saying “I Like Anal Sex With Goats.” This Tweet is followed by another one that says “WTF” and includes a link. Do NOT click on this link; it appears that it will cause you to send out the same series of Tweets from your account.”
Warnings started piping in, such as this one from @pranger: "Don’t Click The WTF Link On Twitter Unless You DO Like Sex With Goats." (I do appreciate the open-mindedness of the choice.)
Others couldn't resist making some wry commentary, such as @hackerTrends: "Toomany people in my timeline are having/love to have sex with goats."
Andrew Nacin, one of the core developers of the WordPress platform, wrote a post about this CSRF attack. Namely, he explains what that means.
“Twitter allows a URL to send a tweet. Many sites and retweet buttons and such rely on it. No POST, no nonce, nothing. Just a simple HTTP GET triggers a tweet. Clearly, someone was going to exploit this eventually.”
“Authentication is not the same as intention. You can’t just determine that a user is allowed to do something, but also that they intended to do something. When intent is not established, and especially when the form can be submitted via a GET request, it makes these kinds of exploits child’s play, as you can see by the complete exploit code below. It’s called a cross-site request forgery, or CSRF (or XSRF).”
TechCrunch let us know that Twitter was onto the problem, and pointed us to the company's blog for a status update.
“A malicious link is making the rounds that will post a tweet to your account when clicked on. Twitter has disabled the link, and is currently resolving the issue.”
Twitter updated its status after that to saying they've fixed the problem and "are in the process of removing the offending Tweets."
I doubt most Twits found the tweets THAT offensive; instead they rolled with it. And today, they're combining yesterday's funny with another annoying viral must-click: the #TwitRank. (I'm just kidding about that must-click. It takes you through some kind of survey. I saw the first page, and backed out, hands up in the air, fast.)
It produces something like @robinbogg's post: "My Twitter Rank is "i love anal sex with goats". What's your Rank? #TwitRank"
— The Curator
I hate fashion – a lot. I’m a woman, so it’s always weird when I tell people that, although it’s really not surprising considering the way I dress.
Truth is, I hate buying clothes, wearing clothes :) or even thinking about clothes – and yes, that definitely includes shoes! I’m plus-sized, but that isn’t my clothes-hate issue. It does, however, explain the extreme irony it would be me, of all people, posting the following about fashion – well, actually about a super supermodel.
Positive body image remains elusive for so many girls and women, and society as a whole, but recent efforts to improve the way females perceive themselves are making a slow, but sure difference reflected in marketing changes. Maybe in another eon, girls will feel just as comfortable in their bodies as boys.
One of the reasons for this gradual improvement isn’t a what, it’s a who: Lizzie Miller. The first plus-size model who truly broke the fat-glass ceiling, proving once again that love handles on women are indeed lovely. In fact, she is drop-dead-fucking-gorgeous. (Why are we never having this conversation about men? Tedious.)
At any rate, Miller gave an insightful interview recently to the U.K.’s Daily Mail, discussing THE photo (at top of blog) that put her on the modeling map. Read it in its entirety below, or at the newspaper’s website:
The spare tyre that started a revolution: Model Lizzie Miller on the 'embarrassing' picture that made her a star
By Lydia Slater
When Lizzie Miller saw the photograph that would make her famous, she felt embarrassed. The picture — which appeared in Glamour magazine in the U.S. a year ago — showed her stretch marks and a roll of soft tummy flesh.
“I said to myself: ‘‘‘OK, it’s not the best picture, but it’s not a big deal. And anyway, nobody’s going to see it.’’’ Famous last words!”
But that photograph, buried in the back of the magazine, generated a global media frenzy and turned her into a supermodel.
Hundreds of emails and letters poured in from women overwhelmed with joy at seeing a normal body in a magazine.
“Seeing someone not airbrushed, with an average looking body, compared to all those stick-thin pictures of perfection — I guess people thought: ‘‘‘Wow! This girl looks like me,’’’ says Lizzie.
It really struck a chord. The work flooded in, with lucrative contracts with American and Italian fashion labels.
Ironically, it was the public reaction that helped Lizzie finally accept her own body in all its curvy glory.
“The part of myself I was most insecure about was my stomach,” she says. “My weight has been an issue I’ve struggled with all my life. But the response I got made me realise other people out there felt like me.”
“One girl wrote to me to say her sister had told her she was fat and ugly all her life. Now, when she feels bad about herself, she goes to her computer, looks at a picture of me and she feels better.
“As I read what she had written, I started crying — I felt so sorry for her. Knowing I could help her feel better about herself is so rewarding to me.”
[Above Photo: “It's crazy that fashion recognizes only one body type”: The 21-year-old, who is a British size 14 to 16, in a recent shoot]
A year on and the reverberations are continuing. Chanel cast plus-size model Crystal Renn in its Cruise 2011 show, and there have been fashion magazine issues dedicated to larger sizes, including V Magazine’s Size issue and Vogue Curvy.
Essentials has announced it will no longer feature celebrities or models on its cover after a survey of readers suggested they preferred ‘real women’.
And when luscious Mad Men actress Christina Hendricks revealed that designers refused to loan her clothes because of her size, it unleashed a storm of protest.
“The designers are going to have to take notice. After all, curvy women have money, too,” says Lizzie. “We want to wear fashionable clothes.”
I met Lizzie, 21, at the offices of her Manhattan modelling agency, Wilhelmina. Articulate and thoughtful, she is also a knockout — a tawny-skinned, athletic blonde who at 5ft 11in measures 38-32-42 and is a British size 14 to 16.
She eats well, exercises daily and, at 12½st, her body mass index is in the healthy range. Only in the warped world of fashion could she have been considered too large.
“When I started modelling eight years ago, plus-size clothes were shapeless potato sacks,” she says.
“Designers were trying to hide the figure because they didn’t know what to do with it. Now, it is better tailored. It’s baby steps, but I think that’s how you make progress.”
Lizzie is happy to be the poster girl for a more realistic portrayal of women in the fashion media. But it wasn’t that long ago that she was too self-conscious to wear dresses or shorts. As a child in San Jose, California, she was teased at school.
“Obesity runs in my family, so I have that genetic thing to battle against,” she says. “When I was little, my mum used to call me her “‘solid chocolate bunny’”.
“I’ve never been a thin girl and I didn’t eat healthily. Every day after school, I would get a bag of Doritos and three Ferrero Rocher chocolates. I ate a lot of cheeseburgers and not enough vegetables.”
As a result, aged 12, she weighed more than she does now. “I was known as the funny, fat one at school. One guy emailed me a picture in which he’d drawn purple stretch marks all over it. That was really hurtful.”
“He also told me that when I wore shorts, people would have to look away in disgust because my legs were so ugly.”
“When I sprained my ankle, he told me another guy had said it was because I was too fat to support myself.”
Until a couple of years ago, Lizzie says she would still hear his voice taunting her every time she showed her legs in public.
“If guys looked at me in the street, I’d never think they were checking me out — I’d assume they were looking at how fat my legs were. Just a couple of cutting comments had an impact on me for years afterwards.”
Eventually, her parents went round to the bully’s family to explain what was going on, and the teasing stopped. Lizzie decided to take her weight under control.
“When I was 12, I remember thinking: ‘“Wow! At this rate, I’m going to be enormous by the time I get to high school.”’ I didn’t want to be known as the fat girl any more — I wanted people to see me, rather than just my body.”
So she and her parents joined WeightWatchers and Lizzie shed four stone merely by eating more healthily. As her weight came off, other people started to notice her looks.
“People came up to me all the time to ask if I was a model,” she says. “I wondered if I should try it, but I never thought I could because I wasn’t super-skinny.”
Then she heard about a casting call for a model search and persuaded her parents to let her attend. Several agencies expressed an interest and, aged 13, Lizzie signed up with Wilhelmina, which has a plus-size division.
She has seen the pressures on models to fit an unrealistic ideal body type. “When I moved to New York, I used to live in an apartment with other models. One girl arrived who’d been working in Japan, where you’re expected to be even skinnier than in the West, and she was clearly anorexic.”
“She’d run for two or three hours a day, and even when we were watching TV, she couldn’t sit still — she’d be doing crunches or leg lifts. She ate only tiny amounts.”
Lizzie lays the blame for this on a fashion industry that worships skinniness. “My room-mate is a model who is naturally thin,” she says. “But there are so many other girls who are bigger than me.”
“It’s crazy that fashion recognises only one body type and if you don’t fit it, you’re considered fat.”
No wonder that a study in 2007 by the University of Missouri found that women felt worse about themselves after looking at pictures of models in magazine adverts for just three minutes.
“We need to be celebrating skinny girls, curvy girls, tall girls, short girls, black girls, Asian girls and all nationalities,” says Lizzie.
“I think that would make women feel a lot better about themselves. We have a long way to go until a girl who’s curvy can be in a magazine without a lot of attention being drawn to her.”
— The Curator
Sadly, it appears that the very tired and offensive double-standard that labels women’s sexuality as taboo and men’s as expected and normal is still firmly in place – at least in terms of advertising.
A new female product, Zestra Essential Oils, which is a blend of botanical oils and extracts including Angelica, claims that it will enhance sexual arousal and even improve achieving orgasm in women.
The manufacturer claims the product is not having any trouble getting it on with its women users, but in getting it on the air via advertisers.
Semprae Laboratories, Zestra’s manufacturer, believes their ad has been rejected by a host of TV and other venues, including Facebook, because of our culture’s discomfort with women’s sexuality.
While it is almost impossible to watch nighttime TV without a barrage of male ads promoting Viagra and Cialis to treat erecticle dysfunction, complete with a frank warning about a four-hour erection, an ad promoting what Zetra may do has barely been seen.
Another product targeting the women sexuality market, KY Intense, has had its very frank ads aired without a problem. That product, with uses a compound including niacin to cause a warm, tingling feeling on the clitoris, only depicts a female and male couple in its advertisements. In those ads, the women use the product to get excited to have sex, and better sex, with the man.
Instead, the Zestra ad features middle-aged women discussing their loss of libido, and how the product has helped them regain a feeling of sexual arousal.
So, what is the problem? Like its manufacturer, I believe that the problem is that Zestra may truly be the first product ever marketed that places female pleasure first. Men are not necessary in this brave new world of women’s pleasure – lesbians take notice!
In addition some, including outspoken masturbation (solo-sex) proponent Whoppi Goldberg of The View, has noted that Zestra may be a true boon for women to receive sexual pleasure without any partner at all. All you need is a vulva and some Zestra – woohoo!
Underscoring this conclusion, is an article in the New York Times (which appears in full below) that points out that in an online ad for Zestra a woman says, “It works so well, when I think about it, it even makes me want to go home and use it now.” There are no men depicted anywhere in that segment.
[The above photograph is from the Zestra website, and is an example of what I believe is at the true basis of the real controversy.]
Here is the Zestra website's claim: “Better Sex, Effortlessly. Recommended by doctors, Zestra® is a safe, natural, easy-to-apply blend of botanical oils and extracts that works by heightening a woman's sense of touch. So you feel more during sex. Experience the Zestra Rush™ within minutes the first time — and every time — you use it.”
How does it work? Here’s what the website goes on to says: "Many women say that feelings of desire, arousal and sexual satisfaction do not happen as naturally as they would like. Zestra was developed to provide a much needed option for all women to feel more sexually satisfied.
Zestra is a safe, patented blend of botanicals oils and extracts, created to help women feel more — effortlessly. Topically applied Zestra works within minutes by heightening your sensitivity to touch – for deep, pleasurable sensations, sexual satisfaction and fulfillment.
After applying Zestra to the clitoris and labia, the effects – the Zestra Rush™ – begin for most women within 3 to 5 minutes and last for up to 45 minutes.”
Shame on advertisers for keeping women (underscore consumers) from taking the responsibility for their sexuality in their own hands, in the same way that marketers have allowed men to do since advertising was invented!
The following is the aforementioned New York Times article in its entirety below, or read it directly on its website:
For Female-Aphrodisiac Makers, Effort at Parity
By Abby Ellin
A woman in her early 40s pops up on the TV screen. “Women are starting to talk about something they have been feeling for a long time,” she says, “wanting more sexual satisfaction.”
Another woman, this one in her mid-50s says, “After I had my children, sex didn’t make me feel the same way.”
And a third, “I wish it were easier for me to feel aroused.” The two-minute ad for Zestra Essential Arousal Oils, a blend of botanical oils and extracts that promise to enhance sexual arousal for women, was created by ShadowBox Entertainment Pictures.
In an age of soul-bearing memoirs (adultery, addiction, incest) and frank discourse on male sexual concerns (impotence, size), the commercial is pretty tame: middle-age women discussing how they feel less than amorous. And when compared with a commercial for, say, Fire and Ice from Trojan, which features a couple racing into a 24-hour pharmacy to buy the product, it’s downright PG.
Still, Zestra has had a difficult time getting its ad approved to run on the air, meeting resistance from TV networks, national cable stations, radio stations, and even Web sites like Facebook and WebMD.
Rachel Braun Scherl, the president of Semprae Laboratories, which manufactures Zestra, believes it is because of the culture’s discomfort with women’s sexuality.
“The Cialises of the world are a perfectly acceptable part of conversation in our culture today, but when it comes to talking about the realities of women’s lives, like menstruation, you always have some woman running in the field in a dress,” Ms. Braun Scherl said. “In our experience, we haven’t seen women behaving that way. There’s a double standard when it comes to society’s comfort level with female sexual health and enjoyment.”
From May to December 2009, Ms. Braun Scherl and Mary W. Jaensch, Semprae’s chief executive, shopped the ad around to about 100 TV stations. With the exception of Soapnet Women’s Entertainment and Discovery Health, many either refused or placed certain parameters on the ads.
BET, for example would only broadcast the ad from 11 p.m. to 4 a.m. and 8 to 9 a.m. Some of the other networks required additions — which the company made — to add disclaimers like: “Not for people under 18.” But the bulk of the stations and networks indicated that there were no changes that could be made to render the ad appropriate.
Zestra did not fare any better with radio. In the spring, Ms. Braun Scherl and Ms. Jaensch hired Leibler-Bronfman Lubalin advertising, a Manhattan agency, to create a series of radio ads. Many stations told them to remove the words sex and arousal, which proved somewhat challenging for a product having to do with sexual arousal.
In the end, only KBAY in San Jose, Calif., and KMJQ in Houston ran the commercials; KBAB and KSCS, both in Texas, agreed to broadcast them from midnight to 6 a.m., “which is useless,” said Albert Romano, LBL’s media director. “It’s called the graveyard shift for a reason. What’s the point of running the spots if no one’s going to hear them?”
Beth Bronfman, LBL’s chief executive, agreed that a double-standard existed when marketing some products to women. “Have you ever listened to a Cialis commercial word for word?” Ms. Bronfman said. “ ‘An erection lasting more than four hours.’ Why is that O.K.?”
Zestra came close to being featured on the Web site WebMD’s sex and relationship section, which regularly posts advertorials on Viagra and erectile dysfunction, but the company ultimately received an e-mail saying that Zestra “did not fall in line with WebMD’s Best Practice Guidelines.” When Ms. Braun Scherl and Ms. Jaensch asked for clarification on what those practices were, they did not receive a response. Neither Eric Lloyd, the Web site’s director for strategic consumer partnerships, nor Kate Hahn, a spokeswoman for WebMD, returned phone calls or e-mails seeking comment.
An ad on Facebook that read “Zestra Essential Arousal Oils — Try Zestra for Free” was pulled after several weeks. Ms. Braun Scherl and Ms. Jaensch received an e-mail stating that Facebook did not allow “advertisements that contain or promote adult content” including “sexual terms and/or images.” The women said they were unsuccessful in reaching Facebook officials to discuss the ad. Representatives from Facebook did not return calls or e-mails.
“Double standards abound when it comes to advertising anything having to do with our private parts,” said Robert J. Thompson, a professor of television and popular culture at Syracuse. “Commercials for erectile dysfunction products, which discuss not only sex but the hydraulic processes involved in having sex have played during major venues like the Super Bowl. They boldly tout male sexual pleasure as a commodity: an erection in a bottle.”
The difference with Zestra is that it “places female pleasure first, and even seems to suggest that this pleasure can be had with or without the presence of a man,” Mr. Thompson said. Indeed, in one online ad for Zestra, a woman says that, “It works so well, when I think about it, it even makes me want to go home and use it now.” There are no men anywhere in the picture.
Mr. Thompson acknowledges that some of the reluctance to broadcast the ads may have to do with the vague sense of what products like Zestra actually do. “If this product works as well as it claims, Victorian prissiness and the collective American embarrassment about sex will probably be trumped by the marketplace,” he said.
According to Ms. Braun Scherl and Ms. Jaensch, Zestra sales have increased month over month, and the business is growing. The product has also been featured on television shows like “Dr. Oz,” “Rachael Ray” and the “Tyra Banks.”
Still, “there is a huge unmet need, and we’re limited in our ability to get the message to men and women who would benefit from the product,” Ms. Braun Scherl said. “What I would say is, if there are standards for what is acceptable and what is not acceptable, they should be equally applied to products for male and female sexual enjoyment.”'
Hey, I plan to order a small amount to try it. Will get back to you after it's...come!
(Note: The manufacturer has just provided me with a website for readers to sign a petition who feel "outraged" by this double-standard, and has requested that I provide it here. I think this is worth considering, but NOT as a marketing ploy, but to make sure that women's sexuality is taken seriously.)
— The Curator
I started this blog to provide a forum for information and opinions regarding anything and everything sexual.
I never expected that anything I would write, other than my musings, would make it into these posts but I was wrong – thanks to the famous erotic author Alison Tyler. Among her multitude of accomplishments (award winning books, etc.) she also has an equally award-winning blog.
Recently, she held a “Flash Fuck Me Fiction” contest, allowing any adult with an interest to enter, provided their erotica entry didn’t exceed 100 words. Well, she ended up with numerous entrants, including one from me, representing my first publicly presented work of original erotic fiction.
But the most amazing? She didn’t pick one winner, she decided instead to feature EACH ENTRY on her blog, along with a matching photograph just like a real story! That is absolutely mindblowing, and more generous than I can say. It is beyond rare for an established, successfully famous author to allow non-pros this type of opportunity. Trust me, it just doesn’t happen.
Here’s what Alison posted in her own words:
“First off, I have to say, "wow." No, wait. I mean, "Wow." Hell, that's not right either. WOW. Yeah. That's more like it.
Your 100-word flashers rocked my world. I'll repeat myself here, or rephrase myself, but writers who can manipulate short fiction blow my mind. I've been captivated by the concept for longer than I care to admit. (But I think, if you cut me open and counted my rings, there would be this spot two decades ago, that would indicate an early love for flashers.)
Anyway, what do I want to do with your words? I want to fuck them so bad. Will you let me? If I feed them dinner first? Bite by tiny bite? What if take them to a movie show? No, wait. I want to highlight them right here on the blog, one flasher at a time. And I want to match these sexy scenarios with gorgeous succulent do me pictures by Riendo. A gallery in motion. Words and pictures. I always wanted to do a curator.
I mean, be one.
So over the next few weeks, I will be putting up photos and flashers. I had thought to do a poll—but there are so many entries. I'm kind of gobsmacked. And some of the pieces don't have titles—I think it would get too complicated. I don't know about you? But complicated is not where I want to go right now.
I have prizes for *all* of the entrants—if you drop me your snail mail address and let me know which flasher you wrote, I will mail you a copy of one of my short-short collections. If you wrote more than one, no worries. I'll send you more than one book. And I'll also "talk" with you about the book I'm working on, and how you could be involved.
XXX,
Alison”
As a result, my little erotic adventure debuted today on her blog. Read it below, or directly at...I still can’t believe I’m saying this...at Alison Tyler’s blog! (While you’re there, be sure to read the other Flash Fuck Me Fiction, and the other erotica that’s posted at her main blog page.)
Subway
by The Curator
I’m not pretty, but it doesn’t matter because I smell like sex. It’s rush-hour Monday. I wedge into the most crowded subway car I can find. I choose carefully, forcing my barely concealed tits hard against the chest of a wall-streeter wearing a light colored, expensive suit. I meet his already smoldering eyes. Silently, I thrust my hips into his instantly hard cock and grind. The train jerks and so does he. I jump off, glancing back to see his shocked face and the dark wetness spreading across the front of his sharply-creased pants.
~~~~
Thank’s again, Alison, and thanks also to Riendo for the great Subway photo.
You have always been a favorite author Alison, but now I know you are so much more: You are a kind, and generous woman. I remain profoundly grateful.
Be sure and check out all of her books including her current bestseller Alison's Wonderland
. I promise that they will titillate all of the senses. And, don’t forget to check out her great website, which is a completely fab world in and of itself!
— The Curator
The incomparable erotic author Belle de Jour, otherwise known as Dr. Brooke Magnanti, was back in print with two great, but quite different, British interviews about her work in the sex industry.
Last year, Belle step out from behind her famous pen name and revealed her identity. Brooke, of Bristol, England, is a noted scientist whose specialist areas are developmental neurotoxicology and cancer epidemiology. She has a PhD in informatics, epidemiology and forensic science and had worked at the Bristol Initiative for Research of Child Health as part of a team that researched the potential effects on babies of their mothers' exposure to toxic chemicals.
But, from 2003 to late 2004, Brooke worked as a high-class call girl for a London escort service. She has written an award-winning blog and several bestselling books based on her experiences as a high-end call-girl in the sex industry. Her writing also formed the basis of the TV series Secret Diary of a Call Girl, now in its third season on Showtime, and starring Billie Piper in the title role of “Belle.”
Recently, Brooke took a hiatus from penning new entries for her award-winning blog (where she says simply, “Belle de Jour is the pen name of Brooke Magnanti, a UK-based writer and science researcher. Interests: whisky, taphonomy, PGP encryption"), and from commenting on Twitter, or other social media outlets, except for an occasional tidbit or comment.
Since I began my blog, I had unerringly reprinted her own amazing blog posts, along with any interviews that featured her. Despite her generally dropping out of active public sight, I remain unabashedly supportive of Brooke in all of her endeavors.
The following article appeared Sept. 16, in the U.K.’s Telegraph and is my favorite that has been done. It is a wonderful attempt to get to know Brooke, not Belle, for a change. I congratulate its author, Jessica Salter, for writing it.
I say this because in my view, it would be a very serious mistake to shackle this talented woman to the sex-book genre only – Brooke’s abilities far exceed the titillation of the senses, but also titillation of the mind.
The second article appeared in today’s Yorkshire Post, and relates to sex-industry topics. It is a much more traditional interview approach, so less illuminating.
Let me be very clear: I am thrilled to read in and all articles featuring Brooke discussing her sex-industry experience, but I would also be just as thrilled to read any feature in which she talks about – or especially writes on – any topic because she is simply just that good. Frankly, Brooke Magnanti is unforgettable.
Please read the Telegraph’s article in full below, or at the newspaper’s website:
Telegraph, UK, Sept. 16
Brooke Magnanti, author, blogger and former call girl
The 34-year-old discusses growing up in Florida, why she became a call girl and how her secret identity was revealed
By Jessica Salter
[Note: All photographs that appear in the article below were taken by Lucy Levene, and appear as they do at the website.]
Dr Brooke Magnanti, 34, a research scientist with a PhD in informatics, epidemiology and forensic science, is better known as Belle de Jour, the anonymous blogger who wrote about her life as a high-class call girl. Her blog spawned two books, which were adapted for the television series The Secret Diary of a Call Girl, starring Billie Piper. She unmasked herself last November, and currently works for the Bristol Initiative for Research of Child Health, studying the effect of pesticides on children’s brain development. Her latest book, Belle de Jour’s Guide to Men (Phoenix), is out now.
Routine I’m usually up by 7am but it takes me an hour of holding a cup of tea and listening to Radio 4 before I can do anything useful. Then I answer some emails, do a bit of writing, and then go to work at about 10am.
Florida I bought this citrus crate label (pictured) on eBay and framed it because it reminds me of growing up in Clearwater in west Florida, where you saw the crates of oranges and these labels everywhere. When I grew up, most of Walt Disney World hadn’t been built yet, and the area was just beaches and orange groves. When I go back I can still see little bits of old Florida poking through.
Fire Before I moved to Sheffield to start my PhD in forensic pathology, I left most of my things at my mum’s house in Florida and just took a suitcase and a bunch of books over to England with me. A couple of weeks later I got a phone call from my auntie. The first thing she said was, 'Don’t worry, your mum is OK,’ but she was calling to tell me that the house had burnt down and everything had gone.
Gourd One of the few old things that I still own, and that I take everywhere with me, is this little gourd (pictured), which has seeds inside. My uncle lives in Ecuador and he sent it to me when I was about five.
Rowing I started rowing when I got to Sheffield and one of my memories of living there was when the river was frozen over and we had to smash through the ice with the boat. This tankard (pictured) is from one of the regattas we won.
Cash flow After I had written my thesis I moved to London to find a job because I’d pretty much run out of money. I couldn’t get a bank loan or an overdraft because of my student visa, and I couldn’t get a job in science because my PhD hadn’t been awarded yet. A friend gave me a cheque for £150 to help out. I just looked at it and thought, 'But what about next month?’
Call girl In 2003 I met a well-heeled couple in a restaurant and we went back to their place. Afterwards the man called me a cab and shoved loads of notes in my hand, but it was only when I was inside that I thought, 'This is more than the cab costs.’ Then it dawned on me that working as a call girl wouldn’t be so much different from that evening. It was something I was willing to try, and if I didn’t like it, no one had to know. I charged £300 an hour, of which I got to keep £200 (the rest went to an agency). The average appointment lasted two hours and I saw clients two or three times a week until I gave up a year and a half later.
Birth of Belle I started the blog because I wanted to talk about what was happening to me. I’m very used to chatting with friends and suddenly I had all these anecdotes that I couldn’t tell anyone. I had already been writing a blog about science and another one about whisky, so I knew how to write them. I kept the science one going for a while because I didn’t want anyone to figure out the two were linked and work out who I was.
Chest of drawers I bought this chest of drawers (pictured) with the money I won for a blogger prize. This was before the books so I thought if nothing else came of Belle, in years to come I’d have something to show for it.
Relaxing hobbies My grandmother taught me how to knit. I find it so relaxing and I’ve usually got some kind of project on the go – at the moment it is a jumper (pictured). The really irritating thing is you can’t take your needles on flights any more, which is where I used to do most of my knitting. I love to bake as well.
Coming out A British blogger called Darren worked out my identity in 2004, because he’d followed a previous blog that I’d written, but he kept my secret. Unknown to me he had set up a widget that alerted him whenever my real name was Googled along with Belle de Jour’s, and he didn’t get any hits for five years. But last October he started getting odd hits and he traced the IP address to a tabloid newspaper and told me via Twitter. A few weeks later a reporter broke into my workplace. I decided to beat the tabloids to it and go public.
Relief The strangest part was telling my mum. She now lives in New York and I kept trying to call her but my phone kept dying. I knew I had a deadline because an interview with me was coming out in a newspaper so I ran out and bought a new phone. I thought this is definitely not the type of conversation to have on email. She was great about it but it was a very strange moment when she called me back, having bought and read my books and given them to my grandmother.
~~~~~~
The following news feature below appears in today’s Yorkshire Post, or at its website:
Yorkshire’s National Newspaper
Yorkshire Post, Sept. 21
Why money has stripped away class barriers in the sex
By Grace Hammond
In recent years, the middle classes have been busy monopolising areas they previously feared to tread.
Once sleeping in tents was only for those unable to afford to holiday abroad. Now you can't move on the average campsite for well-off families wanting to get back to basics. Dog tracks have seen an influx of professional punters and even bingo has be come a mecca for the middle classes.
Now in what may well be the final frontier, it seems they are also taking over the sex industry.
According to recent research by the University of Leeds, one in four lap dancers have a degree – and one of the most striking details of the Wayne Rooney affair was the background of two women he allegedly took to the Lowry Hotel.
Both had been brought up in middle class families, yet for one reason or another found themselves working as escorts, leaving their embarrassed parents to issue public apologies.
"Obviously, the economy is the key," says research scientist Dr Brooke Magnanti, aka Belle de Jour, whose infamous blog about her life as a call girl was made into a TV series starring Billie Piper. "More and more women are realising that the stereotype of the drug addicted streetwalker does not always (or even often) apply, and are voting with their wallets, so to speak.
"We've come a long way in accepting people for doing what is, let's face it, a legal and storied profession."
While inner city red light districts may still be the preserve of a vulnerable underclass, lap dancing clubs and escort agencies have a far wider cross-section of employees. It's easy to see why. The dancers questioned in the Leeds survey took home an average of £232 a shift. With most working between two and four shifts a week, an annual income of between £24,000 and £48,000 is more than most part-time jobs would ever pay.
For some, the sex industry may provide a good wage, but the seemingly endless supply of women wanting to sign up is bad news for campaign groups like the Fawcett Society and Objects, which believe they are little more than a form of commercial sexual exploitation.
While many may end up working as lap dancers and escorts of their own free will, there are concerns a significant number will become trapped in the job, unwilling to move on because of the money.
"No one should be forced to do any kind of work that they really don't want to do, simply to survive," says Catherine Redfern, of The New Feminist Movement, "and obviously this applies whether a woman has a degree or has no qualifications at all. The idea that this is more of a concern just because women with degrees are doing this work, is abhorrent.
"The fact that it's predominantly female students, and not male students who are doing this, highlights the entrenched sexism of the sex industry.
"It promotes the idea of women as passive sex objects to be looked at by men. We need to question why this is considered the norm, how society is set up to encourage men and women to see their sexuality in this rigid, binary way, and encourage a much more diverse view."
Perhaps unsurprisingly, Magnanti, who was completing a PhD at Sheffield University's department of forensic pathology when she became a call girl, takes a far more pragmatic view.
"I guess I was the only person in the country who wasn't surprised at the survey's results," she says candidly. "Stripping and sex work are a lot like waiting tables – some people have what it takes to do it for life, but most people are just moving through it on the way to another career.
"Many of the women I met in the business were well-educated enough to know a minimum wage job couldn't possibly fund their futures.
"In my opinion, it says less about women and feminism than it does about education and government priorities. I'm sure the survey results would have been very different if the study was conducted back when students had grants for university fees.
"However, when it comes to sex and people's private lives, it is absolutely hypocritical for others to judge.
"There isn't a person in this country with a spotless past if you look hard enough."
~~~~~~
As Belle de Jour, Brooke has written four books in addition to her blog about her work in the sex industry. Her fifth book, Belle's Best Bits: A London Call Girl Reveals Her Favourite Adventures
.
Here is a description of that book, provided by Orion Books:
“From the summer of 2003 Belle charted her day-to-day adventures on and off the field in a frank, funny and award-winning diaries. She was the first to reveal (among other things) how she became a working girl, what it feels like to do it for money, and where to buy the best knickers for the job. She also discusses her efforts to change from 'working girl' to working girl, whilst sneaking off to visit clients in her lunch hour. From debating the literary merits of Martin Amis with naked clients to smuggling whips into luxury hotels, this is a no-holds barred account of the high-class sex-trade, and an insight into the secret life of an extraordinary woman.”
Her other books are Belle de Jour’s Guide to Men, 2009; The Intimate Adventures of a London Call Girl, September 2005; The Further Adventures of a London Call Girl, May 2007; and Playing the Game, June 2009. There is not a ringer in the bunch – trust me!
Also be sure to check out her op-ed articles on a variety of topics including reforming libel law in Britian.
[Note: The top photograph of the beautiful Brooke was taken by Geraint Lewis]
— The Curator
