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The hero U.S. Captain who safely put a plane in the Hudson, has recently been putting his own plane quite happily in his wife’s hangar!
Capt. Chesley Burnett "Sully" Sullenberger III, the quick-thinking pilot who became an international hero after he saved the lives of 155 passengers in January when he safely ditched his plane in the Hudson River, has admitted all the accolades have spiced up his sex life.
“Rock star sex,” is how the hero pilot explained it to Matt Lauer for NBC’s "People of the Year" TV special, which aired on Thanksgiving Day, describing his new found mojo with his wife, Lorrie.
His wife wholeheartedly agrees, and is the one who spilled the beans publicly in the first place. Lauer had asked Sullenberger and his wife whether his sudden celebrity helped or hurt their relationship.
"He doesn't know I'm going to say this, but I had joked the other day that...the hero sex really helps a 20-year-old marriage," declared Lorrie Sullenberger, who then laughed delightedly.
"Rock star sex," chimed in the 58-year-old Capt. Sullenberger.
As the world knows, the pilot became an international celebrity after he expertly landed US Airways flight 1549 in the Hudson River offshore from Manhattan, New York City, after a flock of birds caused him to lose power in both engines. All people aboard survived.
A boost in the bedroom is a natural reward for a man who displays the kind of courage and confidence Sully showed in the cockpit of his US Airways jet, sex therapists said. It is even reported that iconic actor Tom Cruise will play Sullenberger in a move based on the landing.
“He became an alpha man to the public and that triggered in her, almost instinctually, the desire to mate with the alpha male,” said Dorothy Hayden, a Manhattan sex therapist. “He gets stronger, his personality gets stronger, his sense of self improves and that’s very sexy.”
While cautioning that the ideal of the noble protector exists as much in stereotype and fantasy as reality, psychologists said old-fashioned hero worship can provoke powerful feelings.
“When you’re married to someone for a long time, you start to forget what you were attracted to about them,” said Manhattan-based therapist Miro Gudelsky. “When you start seeing them through other people’s eyes as this hero, it can reignite things you felt previously or ignite new feelings.”
Sullenberger is an airline transport pilot, safety expert, and accident investigator from Danville, California. On Jan. 15, 2009, Sullenberger was the pilot in command of an Airbus A320 from New York's LaGuardia Airport en route to Charlotte/Douglas International Airport in Charlotte, North Carolina. The flight was designated as US Airways Flight 1549.
Shortly after taking off, Sullenberger reported to the air traffic controllers that the plane had hit a large flock of birds, disabling both engines. Several passengers saw the left engine on fire.
Sullenberger calmly discussed the possibility of either returning to LaGuardia, or attempting to land at the Teterboro Airport in New Jersey. However, Sullenberger quickly decided that neither was feasible, determining that ditching the plane in a water landing in the Hudson River was the only chance to save the lives of everyone on board.
Sullenberger told the passengers to "brace for impact," then deftly piloted the plane to a smooth, gliding ditching in the river at about 3:31 p.m. All passengers and crew members survived, scrambling out onto the wings and onto rescue boats before the plane sank.
"It was very quiet as we worked, my co-pilot and I. We were a team. But to have zero thrust coming out of those engines was shocking—the silence," Sullenberger said later.
Once the plane was down, Sullenberger thoroughly checked the passenger cabin twice to make sure everyone had evacuated, before he retrieved the plane's maintenance logbook. He was the last to leave the aircraft.
After the crisis, New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg dubbed him, "Captain Cool." However, Sullenberger acknowledged that he had suffered some symptoms of posttraumatic stress for the first couple of weeks following the crash, including sleeplessness and flashbacks. Fortunately, his condition has greatly improved.
Sullenberger has said that the moments before the crash were, "the worst sickening, pit-of-your-stomach, falling-through-the-floor feeling" that he had ever experienced.
"One way of looking at this might be that for 42 years, I've been making small, regular deposits in this bank of experience: education and training. And on January 15 the balance was sufficient so that I could make a very large withdrawal," he said.
On Jan. 16, 2009, the United States Senate passed a Senatorial resolution honoring Sullenberger, his co-pilot Jeff Skiles, the cabin crew, the passengers, and the first responders who pulled everyone safely off the plane, or out of the water.
Sullenberger continues to be an international speaker on airline safety, and has helped develop new protocols for airline safety. Sullenberger is also the co-chairman of the EAA's Young Eagles youth introduction-to-aviation program, and is the author of Highest Duty, a memoir of his life and of the events surrounding Flight 1549, which was published in 2009 by HarperCollins.
— The Curator
Famed British erotic author Belle de Jour made her TV debut last night as herself: Dr. Brooke Magnanti.
Brooke, 34, appeared on Sky Arts The Book Show in the UK, and was questioned by The Book Show host, Mariella Frostrup. (Note: The interview will be replayed at various times, but can only be seen in the UK and not in the U.S.)
“In her first ever television interview since revealing her true identity, former call-girl Brooke Magnanti (Belle de Jour) confesses all,” The Book Show touted on its website.
For those of you who are unfamiliar with her, Belle de Jour had been the nom de plume of a celebrated erotic author, and award-winning blogger, who was also a London call girl for two years.
On Nov. 15, Belle revealed her true identity through a voluntary interview with the London Sunday Times. Brooke’s specialist areas are developmental neurotoxicology and cancer epidemiology. She has a PhD in informatics, epidemiology and forensic science and is now working at the Bristol Initiative for Research of Child Health. She is currently part of a team researching the potential effects on babies of their mothers' exposure to toxic chemicals.
But, from 2003 to late 2004, Brooke worked as a prostitute via a London escort agency; she started blogging as Belle de Jour — after the Buñuel film starring Catherine Deneuve as a well-to-do housewife who has sex for money because she’s bored — shortly into her career as a call girl, after an incident she thought funny enough to write down.
She charged £300 ($530) an hour for her services, of which she got £200. The average appointment lasted two hours; she saw clients two or three times a week, “sometimes less, sometimes a great deal more,” she has said.
As Belle de Jour, Brooke, of Bristol, England, has written four books and an award-winning blog about her work in the sex industry. The media furor triggered by her decision to disclosed her true identity continues across the UK.
Asked by Mariella Frostrup what was the scariest part of “coming out” to international attention, Brooke responded, “I might lose my job. Everything just took off.”
The publicity was so intense that requests for interviews poured into Brooke’s employer, not just to her publisher and agent.
“I said yes to everything,” requests for interviews, etc. “A lot of other employers might not have been comfortable” with all of the publicity. “I’m quite lucky in that regard,” Brooke said.
Brooke told Frostrup how she had decided to write her erotic blog. She described going to a photo shoot after first working for the escort service. The sexy photographs taken of her in lingerie would later be posted by the agency on its website, so clients could see who was available to request.
Brooke said it wasn’t being photographed that got her attention, but the photographer who, “Might have been something out of a dominatrix-submission fantasy.”
“Hilarious,” Brooke chuckled remembering it. “I couldn’t really tell my friends.”
Brooke said she already been blogging as herself, posting musings on science, so she knew how the process worked.
“I thought it (photographer) might be a funny story for people to read,” Brooke said.
The rest, as they say, is erotic blogging history.
Frostrup was interested in a comment Brooke had made that her alter ego wasn’t really her.
“I turn on an aspect of my personalty,” a lot of jobs are like that, Brooke noted.
“It’s not that Belle isn’t me,” Brooke explained. “It’s an aspect of my personality. Belle is the more confident part of me.”
Brooke said Belle is not that part of her that when she opens the door she wonders, “Do I think I look all right? Belle has to walk in and feel she looks all right.”
“I had to make sure that I connected with that before walking into an appointment,” Brooke said, because clients really reacted to body language. “I had to make sure I was putting that part of myself, the confident bit across.”
Asked if she had any regrets, Brooke replied, “I don’t, actually. I know that sounds very strange.”
“Obviously, there have been drawbacks,” Brooke said, then was thoughtful. “But, my life has changed so much. Where I am, what I’m doing, the relationship I’m in...all of that wouldn’t have come about,” but for the book.
“Really, everything came about because of the book...as a result of the circumstances surrounding the book,” she said. “My experiences.”
Brooke is very aware that her experiences in the sex industry may not be the norm. She was never injured, and enjoyed the work.
“Can’t regret what’s gone on in the past,” she said. “I’m lucky in that regard. My experience, let’s not mince words, I was very luck. I was very well handled...I managed to get out before it became the bulk of my lifestyle. It served its purpose, as any short-term work would do.”
The most interesting response, to me, occurred when Frostrup asked Brooke if she missed the life, being on the game.
Brooke was thoughtful for several seconds before answering.
“I miss the moment when you walk into the hotel, and you instantly click on, and you recognize where you are. Sort of feeling – I’m about to do a job, and I’m about to do it well. I get that same sort of satisfaction from the job I do now.”
After which, both women laughed. “Are you aware that you’re unusual?” Frostrup asked.
“Yes,” Brooke answered quietly, smiling. She said the last job she’d held before moving to London was scrubbing out toilets in Scotland. “This was a step up from that.”
Brooke said that over the years, she’s received a lot of emails from young women asking if they should go into the business.
“You have to know about yourself. If you have to ask it – probably no,” Brooke said.
(FYI: Other program guests appearing in individual segments in Episode 7 were: UK TV funny man David Mitchell, this year’s Booker Prize winner Hilary Mantel and Irish author Eoin Colfer. The Book Show airs in the UK at 7 p.m. every Thursday on Sky Arts 1.)
Even though I hadn’t known Belle’s name until she disclosed it, I have always known her. She has become a dear friend through her writing. She has written about her sexual adventures and misadventures while having worked in the sex industry, but so very much more. In truth, Brooke has always written about life.
What sets her writing apart is not merely the topics, and the point of view, but the way she writes. She has a unique style, an unforgettable voice. Equal parts humor, wit, wisdom and shining, literate brilliance, there is unflinching truth within her writing. All the time, somehow managing to be incredibly entertaining.
In addition, she is a sex-positive woman who likes men! I don’t mean just in bed, but as a species. Can you imagine? In this day and age of constant man bashing by so-called feminists, it’s refreshing to read a different approach.
In her new book, Belle de Jour’s Guide to Men, Brooke discusses sex, among other topics. In a recent interview with the Irish Independent, she told journalist Declan Cashin that all of us – women in particular – should be having more sex, for pleasure, with more partners.
Brooke happily calls herself "a slag," because she rails against the shame that still seems to surround the act, "that we're all built to do."
"Some people respond more to physical expressions of love, and I am certainly one of those. There seems to be a widespread assumption that the slow death of imagination and frequency of love-making is simply something that must be expected in relationships. I don't accept that. But in the end quality always trumps quantity (though as Stalin wryly noted, 'quantity has a quality all its own'),” Brooke told the newspaper.
Brooke is also quick to “rubbish” notions of 'The One' – clinging to a belief that there's just one person out there for all of us, Cashin wrote.
"Everyone's entitled to their opinion, but I don't buy it at all," Brooke declares.
"Bottom line: I guess I could be tempted to say my current man is 'A One' – somebody I love enough to do the work it takes for us to stay together. But pretending there is literally no-one else in history who could have fulfilled that role? Wow, maths education standards really have slipped!
"Not only is it unlikely, it's impossible. In much the same way the lottery is a tax on people who don't understand statistics, 'The One' is an emotional tax on the same," Brooke told Cashin.
Belle de Jour’s Guide to Men, published by Orion Books, hit store shelves in the United Kingdom on Oct. 1. Not yet available in the US, it is widely available across the pond at UK bookstores, or via Amazon’s UK division.
When you’re there, be sure and check out Belle’s other books: The Intimate Adventures of a London Call Girl, September 2005; The Further Adventures of a London Call Girl, May 2007; and Playing the Game, June 2009. Not a ringer in the bunch – trust me!
— The Curator
A wonder drug hailed as a "Viagra for Women" has been discovered by accident — after it failed trials as an antidepressant.
The once-daily pill, developed by Boehringer Ingelheim GmbH, was said to increase female sex drive in late-stage trials, putting the biotechnical group in the lead to launch the first non-hormonal treatment for women with low libido.
The compound, known as flibanserin, was said to promote sexual desire and increase the number of "satisfying sexual events" in women suffering from abnormally low libido, Boehringer researchers claim. The company is hoping to market the pill in Great Britain in 18 months.
If the drug performs as advertized, it has the potential to revolutionize sexual medicine much as Pfizer Inc.’s blue pill (Viagra) did a decade ago. That would put family-owned Boehringer at the center of a debate about whether the medicine is a chemical shortcut around a complex dysfunction involving body and mind, or even if disinterest in sex is a legitimate medical condition in the first place.
Originally, flibanserin was developed as an anti-depressant, but turned out to be a poor one. Questionnaires given to patients helped discover the drug possessed libido-boosting side effects, and many of the women who participated in the trial seemed reluctant to give back the drug.
According to biotech BI researchers, one tester revealed: “It changed my life. It filled me with excitement and lust.”
One of the most interesting aspects of this announcement, is that it underscores the fundamental difference between the way sexual arousal works in men and women. The drug expected to be marketed to women works on their brains, while male impotency pills such as Viagra, Eli Lilly's Cialis and Bayer's Levitra, widen blood vessels to increase the blood flow to the penis needed for an erection. These same male impotence pills, have failed to show notable aphrodisiac effects in women.
Let’s see: Women=Brain; Men=Penis. Haven’t we always suspected that very equation, hmmmm?
Boehringer, based in the German town of Ingelheim on the Rhine’s west bank, was searching for a depression treatment in the 1990s when it stumbled on the compound. By 2002, Boehringer researchers found the drug wasn’t lifting patients’ mood, but were startled when test subjects rated one measure of well-being, sexual appetite, consistently higher than the others.
But Paula Hall, of Relate, urges caution. "Female loss of libido is a big problem and it is not going away. It can cause problems within a relationship and affect self-esteem.
"This research is really quite exciting for women with loving partners whose loss of libido is a physical thing. But it is not going to fix a broken relationship or help with looking after the kids or cleaning the house," Hall said.
For some women AND men, reduced sexual interest or response may be "normal," doctors say.
Nonetheless, the biotech company now says it is "putting the finishing touches on a pill designed to reawaken desire by blunting female inhibitions," hoping that their compound will rival the sales of Viagra, which has become the Holy Grail for drug manufacturers.
Men’s Viagra was originally meant to be a treatment for high blood pressure, and the heart condition angina. As with the women in this study, men taking part in early trials of the drug realized it had an interesting and unexpected side effect: Erections! Arriving in 1998, the drug has since been prescribed for over 25-million men.
Flibanserin is being developed as a non-hormonal treatment for low sexual desire in women, a market that's thought to be more financially lucrative than even the $2 billion dollar erectile dysfunction market.
The market to women is so potentially lucrative because research has shown that, depending on their age and whether they have undergone menopause, between 9 percent and a whopping 26 percent of adult women report experiencing low libido, or reduced sexual desire.
However, the new drug has proven controversial among sex researchers, with some arguing the pharmaceutical companies are exaggerating the number of women affected by low libidos, simply as a market expansion ploy by pushing a pill unable to deal with psychological issues responsible for putting someone off sex, e.g. poor body image, former abuse, or stress.
I find it even more interesting that the firestorm ‘erupting’ over this drug has far exceeded anything related to male impotency drugs. In fact, discussions focusing on the meaning of sexual desire were sadly, and noticeably missing when Viagra-type medications were on the horizon. It was the primarily the physical impact of those medications on patients that were discussed, not their psychological effects on users.
In comparison, little if any discussion of a woman’s safety has ‘arisen’ in discussions of this drug. Instead, the primary discussion has been whether or not the compound will, or even should, work. Apparently, women do not have the inherent intelligence to be able to choose to take a drug to increase desire, or decide they do not wish to. Sooooooo typical!
In 2003, a year after Boehringer researchers began the clinical trials, an article written by Ray Moynihan in the British Medical Journal called female sexual dysfunction, “the freshest, clearest example we have” of a disease created by pharmaceutical companies to make healthy people think they need medicine.
“This is for some an ideological battle,” said psychiatrist Michael Berner of the Freiburg University Clinic, who had patients in Boehringer’s studies. “One view is the multi-dimensional view you get from people like me. And then you have these people that say you should work only on relationship issues and that medication cannot have a place.”
Flibanserin reportedly works on the pleasure center of a woman's brain to restore flagging libido. Women who take flibanserin once a day make love more often and enjoy it more, large-scale trials have reportedly shown.
Researchers had abandoned previous efforts to develop a similar drug for women because it wasn't clear what constituted a normal sexual drive for women. A lack of sexual desire in women has often been linked to a woman's relationship with her partner. Apparently, what’s normal for men must be clear! Such stereotying is a great disservice to men.
"This drug has the potential to finally open the door to acceptance of the idea that decreased desire can be something that involves a dysfunctional way the brain works, and not only a bad partner," said Jim Pfaus, a neurologist at Concordia University in Montreal, who conducted early tests of the drug in rats. "Of course it's in your head."
“An erection is obvious, it’s easy,” Pfaus said. “But desire – how do you get at that?”
The explanation may be partly evolutionary, some scientists suggest. Male primates are driven by a need to spread their semen, while for females it’s important to be able to care for and rear the offspring.
Some researchers believe the social components of intercourse mean that sexual problems can’t be addressed in the same way as heart failure or cancer.
Sex is a “historical and cultural phenomenon,” said Leonore Tiefer, a psychiatry professor at New York University. There’s no baseline of normalcy by which to define a disorder, she contends.
It’s like dancing, or music, or piano-playing,” Tiefer said. “You do it with the body, but the part the body plays isn’t the largest part.”
Flibanserin works on the brain by putting “two feet on the brakes” to block the release of a chemical called serotonin, which regulates mood, appetite, sleep and memory, Pfaus said. In time, the process should trigger the production of dopamine, a chemical that, among other jobs, helps stimulate desire.
The drug differs from testosterone, a hormone that’s also been tested to reawaken women’s desire. Berner, interviewed at his study in Freiburg, sketched the picture of a wall to explain how flibanserin works.
“You’re standing here, sad, inhibited,” he said, drawing a stick figure next to the wall on a scrap of paper. “Testosterone would give you a little bit more excitement, so you’d climb over. Flibanserin would take away one of the stones.”
Boehringer researchers recruited women for clinical studies using print advertisements. The patients were largely professionals in their early 30’s to mid-40’s, and most chose to continue in the trial in a subsequent phase that ensured they would get the real drug instead of a placebo. Boehringer researchers have said it is recruiting older women for a follow-up study.
After what Pfaus described as an initial period of hesitation about developing a sex pill, Boehringer officials decided to move forward. The company needs new drugs because it faces the loss of 1 billion euros ($1.5 billion) in annual revenue when two older medicines, Mirapex for Parkinson’s disease and Flomax to treat enlarged prostate, lose patent protection next year.
Professor John Thorp, from the University of North Carolina in the US, led the research. He said Flibanserin was a “poor” antidepressant. “It’s essentially a Viagra-like drug for women in that diminished desire is the most common feminine sexual problem, like erectile dysfunction is in men,” he said.
The main criterion for the clinical trials, which the company named after flowers (give me a break!), was how many “satisfying sexual events” women said they had experienced after starting treatment. If the results are good, the so-called Bouquet studies, dubbed Violet, Daisy, Dahlia and Orchid, could form the basis for applications to U.S. and European regulators.
The German company is taking a page from Pfizer’s book. The U.S. drugmaker broadened the appeal of Viagra in 1998 by steering clear of the word “impotence” and saying the blue pill addressed a disease called erectile dysfunction. Boehringer is avoiding potentially offensive words such as frigidity and refers to the problem its pill cures by its clinical name, hypoactive sexual desire disorder, or HSDD.
“An increasing body of evidence shows that hypoactive sexual desire disorder causes substantial emotional distress,” said Heike Specht, a spokesman for the company. The drugmaker “has conducted late-stage clinical trials in over 5,000 women from which we hope will result the first available pharmaceutical treatment.”
In fact, the pill proved so popular in its trials that its manufacturers are poised to apply for permission to sell it across Europe, meaning it could be on UK bedside tables by 2011. A spokeswomen for Boehringer, Germany's second-largest drugmaker after Bayer, said the company was preparing regulatory filings in the U.S. and subsequently for Europe and other markets. She declined to provide a time-frame for filings and market launch and said Boehringer would not publish an assessment for the drug's annual peak sales potential.
Last week, biotech BI orchestrated several media releases, webcasts, and a presentation at a major sexual medicine conference in Europe, all to release data from its Phase III trials on the pre-menopausal women labeled with low sex drive, HSDD.
Unfortunately, all of this has everything to do with marketing and little to do with science. The data hasn't been released by the company, and no breakthroughs have been discovered. Nonetheless, it provides an opportunity to have a global conversation about female sexuality.
As any woman can attest, sexual desire is difficult to define, a fact that even the researchers involved in the flibanserin studies acknowledged. The following is the model, in three elements, presented by BI researchers that they used to measure that illusive zing that women feel:
• Drive: A finding that spontaneous sexual interest is somehow hardwired in a woman’s brain
• Belief and Values: Including social, cultural, ethnic, religious, and other factors that impact how often women might experience sexual desire, how intensely it is felt, and how comfortable women are with sexual desire
• Motivation: Considering the psychological and interpersonal factors that create a willingness for a woman to be sexual and experience sexual desire.
BI researchers claim that while effective treatments exist for women suffering from low sexual desire caused by beliefs, values, and motivation, there is nothing to treat the drive component (which they call the "biologic" component). According to the researchers, they allege that flibanserin effectively treats that “drive” component of sexual desire in women.
Here’s the BIG problem: These same researchers have no flipping clue how flibanserin actually does this! They know only that the drug reduces serotonin levels (FYI: Most antidepressants work by raising these levels.) As a result, their guess is that the drug impacts sexual desire by reducing inhibitory effects in women’s brains.
Thus, the researchers suspect that the drug works directly on the brain's pleasure zones, correcting levels of the chemicals involved in generating feelings of desire. Unlike Procter & Gamble's hormone patch Intrinsa, targeted at woman after the menopause, flibanserin apparently directly manipulates the chain of chemical reactions in the brain believed to trigger sexual desire.
"By modulating the neurotransmitter system, flibanserin may help to restore a balance between inhibitory and excitatory factors leading to a healthy sexual response," said Elaine Jolly, a Canadian gynecologist and medical researcher who helped oversee the trials.
However, unlike Viagra, it takes several weeks for the effect to build up, meaning it cannot simply be "popped" on demand, researchers said.
It also has side-effects, with up to one in eight of the women in the trials dropping out with dizziness, fatigue and sleep problems, researchers said.
In its release of partial findings, BI researchers said they conducted several studies in North America and Europe involving over 5,000 pre-menopausal women who had been diagnosed with HSDD. Researchers focused on the North American studies, which included just over 1,300 women. The average age of the women was 35, and most were married and the average length of their relationships were over 10 years.
Every day for six months, the women were asked to record their subjective evaluation of their own sexual desire, as well as their sexual activity, defined as “Satisfying Sexual Events (SSEs).” For the study, sexual events were not defined solely as intercourse or orgasm. An SSE was defined in the study as sexual intercourse, oral sex, masturbation or genital stimulation by the partner, but which was subjectively evaluated by the woman as satisfying (with prompts like gratifying, fulfilling, satisfactory and/or successful).
The company used personal “digital assistants” to check whether the pill was working. Participants were beeped once a day and asked to rate their level of desire, and say whether they had been sexually active and whether it was enjoyable.
Comparing the women in the North American study taking daily doses of flibanserin with women taking a placebo, the data revealed that women taking the drug increased their SSE’s by 1.7 per month, while women taking the placebo had one more satisfying sexual event per month.
Women taking flibanserin also allegedly reported an increase in sexual desire, and a reduction in distress about sexual desire. Women taking the placebo also reported increased desire, and decreased distress, but the difference between the two groups was statistically significant.
Thus, after taking the drug, the women in the North American study had sexual encounters 60 percent more often, and also found it more satisfying. They also felt less stressed about their sex lives, researchers alleged.
Very importantly, in the European study there was NOT significant increases in sexually satisfying events.
Researchers have offered no explanation for the geographic differences in the test results. The answer to that may be very, very problematic for the study and overall project. Researchers may not have performed the studies consistently regardless of cultural differences, or those cultural differences regarding sexual attitudes between continents may nullify the benefits of the pill. Whatever the reason, researchers will have to address this glaring problem at some point down the road to financial, if not physical, nirvana.
In addition, after the six month study had concluded, there were participants who reported that their sexual desire did not diminish after they stopped taking the drug. Whether this suggests that the drug may have a longer lasting effect on brain chemistry, or that brain chemistry is not as an important a factor in developing sexual desire as researches believe, also remains to be proven.
Even if the drug does perform as represented, women should be very cautious. Petra Boynton, a healthcare researcher at University College London warns the pill is not a 'magic bullet' and could prevent couples from thrashing out their underlying issues.
She said couples should pay attention and talk about their problems. She said: “It’s not going to make you feel better about your body and it won’t make your partner better in bed.”
Because there as so many unanswered questions regarding this drug, I believe it is premature at best to tout any potential benefits of flibanserin. The decision by the biotech company to release just enough information to make it appear that the drug will be effective to help women with sexual dysfunction may be an effective marketing strategy, but may end up hurting the very demographic they claim to care about.
Procter & Gamble's Intrinsa testosterone patches are licensed for use in Europe but not in the U.S., where regulators voted in 2004 against approving the patches that deliver the male hormone, citing lack of evidence for their long-term safety.
To date, the only female sexual dysfunction therapy approved in the U.S. is NOT a drug, it’s Eros-CTD, from NuGyn, Inc., a suction pump that fits over the clitoris much like the erection pumps that predated Viagra. The U.S. specialty drug company BioSante is developing a testosterone skin gel to treat a decline in libido in menopausal women.
It remains to be seen how much this new drug will cost if approved, but it is unlikely to be widely prescribed by Health Services in the UK already struggling to find cash to fund treatment of life-threatening illnesses.
The results from the flibanserin trials were presented last week at the congress of the European Society for Sexual Medicine in Lyon, France.
Researchers around the world will be watching Boehringer’s results carefully. “There are probably a lot of companies holding their breath,” Pfaus said.
— The Curator
Belle de Jour provides more than staid advice in a wonderful and thought-provoking new interview published yesterday in an Irish newspaper that used her latest terrific book, “Guide to Men,” as the spring board for a wide-ranging discussion.
As Belle de Jour, Dr. Brooke Magnanti, of Bristol, England, has written four books and an award-winning blog about working as a high-paid call-girl in the sex industry for two years. On Oct. 15, Brooke disclosed her true identity, causing a furor that continues across the UK.
Of all of the recent interviews that Brooke has given, I found this the most complex, and fascinating. I could really hear her authentic voice ring true throughout, and rather than merely a superficial account of her book, it immediately became a remarkable interview with genuine depth, and much deeper meaning.
In Belle de Jour’s Guide to Men, Brooke discusses sex, among other topics. She was asked about that, and so much more, by Declan Cashin, who wrote the excellent feature that appeared in the Irish Independent Weekend.
In it, Brooke says that all of us – women in particular – should be having more sex, for pleasure, with more partners.
Brooke happily calls herself "a slag," because she rails against the shame that still seems to surround the act, "that we're all built to do."
“It's not all affirmative, preaching to the converted; in fact, Magnanti isn't afraid to make her female readers confront some of their worst traits – be it nagging, passive aggression or lack of enthusiasm in bed – in order for them to acknowledge, then challenge, their own culpability in any problems they might have in their relationships with guys,” Cashin writes.
"Some people respond more to physical expressions of love, and I am certainly one of those. There seems to be a widespread assumption that the slow death of imagination and frequency of love-making is simply something that must be expected in relationships. I don't accept that. But in the end quality always trumps quantity (though as Stalin wryly noted, 'quantity has a quality all its own'),” Brooke says.
Brooke is also quick to “rubbish” notions of 'The One' – clinging to a belief that there's just one person out there for all of us, Cashin writes.
"Everyone's entitled to their opinion, but I don't buy it at all," Brooke declares.
"Bottom line: I guess I could be tempted to say my current man is 'A One' – somebody I love enough to do the work it takes for us to stay together. But pretending there is literally no-one else in history who could have fulfilled that role? Wow, maths education standards really have slipped!
"Not only is it unlikely, it's impossible. In much the same way the lottery is a tax on people who don't understand statistics, 'The One' is an emotional tax on the same," Brooke said.
The interview is truly memorable, underscoring Brooke’s celebrated wit, humor and some of the breadth of her active mind and intelligence. The interview appears below in its entirety, or read it directly at this link.
Irish Independent Weekend
By Declan Cashin
Saturday, Nov. 21
When it comes to understanding the "odd and inscrutable species we call man," few people are as qualified to offer practical advice and guidance as Belle de Jour. Having worked for years as a high-class London call girl – and written an anonymous blog about her experiences, which was eventually turned into books and then a television series – she finally revealed her identity last week.
Belle is the nom de plume of a 34-year-old scientist, whose real name is Dr Brooke Magnanti. In her line of work, she has encountered, in her own words, "men of every conceivable shape, size and type. I've seen them at their most cocksure and at their most vulnerable."
What's more, she has also been in love and had her heart broken along the way. Now, Magnanti has mined all of her experiences to produce Belle De Jour's Guide to Men, a funny, frank and sharply written "tour of man – his habitat, tastes and habits."
Magnanti's fans will be familiar with many of her sexual and emotional trysts first from her two best-selling memoirs, The Intimate Adventures of a London Call Girl and The Further Adventures of a London Call Girl. Her books, and Magnanti's clever, witty voice, then found a whole new lease of life two years ago, when they were adapted into a highly rated TV series starring pop singer-turned-actress Billie Piper in the title role.
Guide to Men is not, however, a blow-by-blow sex guide per se (though both sex and blowing do feature at one point), but rather a Sex and the City-tinged self-help book-cum-dating guide told in Magnanti's sassy, finger-snapping, girl's best-friend style.
It's not all affirmative, preaching to the converted; in fact, Magnanti isn't afraid to make her female readers confront some of their worst traits – be it nagging, passive aggression or lack of enthusiasm in bed – in order for them to acknowledge, then challenge, their own culpability in any problems they might have in their relationships with guys.
Chatting to Weekend, Magnanti admitted that she has hung up her thigh-high boots for good to concentrate fully on her writing career, and indeed last year she published her first fully fictional novel, Playing the Game (which, rather confusingly, also features the character of Belle.)
"I enjoyed my time in sex work for what it was, but wouldn't go back," she says. "Having said that, I assume I'll be saying the same about writing too, someday!"
One of the first topics Magnanti turns to in Guide to Men is, naturally enough, sex. All of us, she argues – women in particular – should be having more sex, for pleasure, with more partners. Magnanti happily calls herself "a slag" because she rails against the shame that still seems to surround the act "that we're all built to do."
Women, she argues, are especially overly-concerned about their sexual reputations. "Last year, for the first time, I became friends with a group of other women," she says. "The extent to which they lied about their numbers was staggering.
"To be fair, I don't think they were changing the numbers maliciously. But they had certainly internalised certain messages and could tell you quite honestly why this or that one-night stand 'didn't count' and so on."
Magnanti's advice is for us all to just get on with it. "What are you saving yourself for exactly?" she asks. "Love? Love is love, regardless of whether you've slept with one person or one thousand. It would please me no end if we finally grew up and stopped equating purity with ability to love and be loved."
While we're on the topic, I have to ask her the key question: in cold, hard terms, how big a deal is sex in a relationship? Do we – women and men – put enough effort into both getting it and getting it right?
"It's a big deal for me," she replies. "Some people respond more to physical expressions of love, and I am certainly one of those.
"There seems to be a widespread assumption that the slow death of imagination and frequency of love-making is simply something that must be expected in relationships. I don't accept that. But in the end quality always trumps quantity (though as Stalin wryly noted, 'quantity has a quality all its own')."
Of course, to even get to that stage, a woman has to find a guy first, and these days it's arguably harder than ever to actually meet someone. Be that as it may, Magnanti says there's only one solution.
"Go on dates," she states. "Yes, it's artificial. Yes, it can be awkward. Yes, you meet a lot of losers very quickly. But if getting staggeringly drunk and throwing ourselves at the closest available face was actually working, we'd all be happily paired off by year two of university, no? Having multiple options on the go stops the desire to start putting pressure on a particular man to commit too soon."
That means that we all need to get better at dating and flirting in general. "It's all about practice, practice, practice," Magnanti says. "After splitting with my last boyfriend I spent about a year dating – proper frocks-on-and-reservations-made dating.
"I did internet dating, blind dates, speed dating, the lot. It provided a lot of great material for my books and, more importantly, it allowed me to meet the amazing man I'm with now. So, if even a hooker can find true love, nothing's out of the question. But the perfect person is not going to come knocking on our door – unless you're into Jehovah's Witnesses."
Magnanti is also quick to rubbish notions of 'The One' – clinging to a belief that there's just one person out there for all of us. "Everyone's entitled to their opinion, but I don't buy it at all," she argues.
"Bottom line: I guess I could be tempted to say my current man is 'A One' – somebody I love enough to do the work it takes for us to stay together. But pretending there is literally no-one else in history who could have fulfilled that role? Wow, maths education standards really have slipped!
"Not only is it unlikely, it's impossible. In much the same way the lottery is a tax on people who don't understand statistics, 'The One' is an emotional tax on the same."
On a similar note, Magnanti contends that a lot of women, and men for that matter, settle for 'good enough' rather than 'better', a recipe for unhappy, unfulfilling relationships if ever there was one. I think the great Western disease is, 'I'll be happy when...' as in, 'I'll be happy when I have a wedding', 'I'll be happy when I have a baby', and so on," she says. "A worthwhile life doesn't run to a schedule, and if someone else is going to judge you for not being married by 30, screw 'em. Their opinion doesn't matter. If you're going to judge yourself for the same... wow. Drop that cross already! Be happy now."
Since she brings it up, I mention that I know lots of cool, smart, attractive women who start panicking when they turn 30 because they aren't married with kids. Changing that trend is beyond any one woman's power, it seems.
"Trust me, babe, when we're all living to 120, then being over 30 will be like turning 16," Magnanti jokes. "Seriously, though, I know exactly the phenomenon of which you speak and it depresses me to see smart, beautiful women I love turning into monsters. Also, don't pretend the same thing doesn't happen to gay men!" Touché.
There is one particular section of the book that will no doubt have husbands and boyfriends across the land furtively underlining with a bright highlighter and leaving open for their other halves to see. This is where Magnanti tells her female readers that not only can they not change a man, but they shouldn't even try change him to begin with. In short, her wisdom on those habits that you'd like to alter in your man is: if you can't get over it, get out of it.
"Humans as a species have an infinite capacity for believing that if we keep doing the same thing over and over, we can expect different results," she explains. "From the crisis in the Middle East to the Clintons' marriage, we can see just how well that strategy works. And my goodness, does it make women unhappy. Men are always going to be men. Trying to make them anything different sort of defeats the purpose of heterosexuality, doesn't it?"
As our allotted time reaches its climax, I wonder if, after all her experiences -- personally and professionally – there is anything about men that still surprises her?
"They are usually a lot sweeter than I give them credit for," she answers. "I've found that when I step back from providing all the romance all the time, my boyfriend surprises me that way.
"Men are very good at hiding that sweetness."
Belle de Jour’s Guide to Men, published by Orion Books, hit store shelves in the United Kingdom on Oct. 1. Not yet available in the US, it is widely available across the pond at UK bookstores, or via Amazon’s UK division.
When you’re there, be sure and check out Belle’s other books: The Intimate Adventures of a London Call Girl, September 2005; The Further Adventures of a London Call Girl, May 2007; and Playing the Game, June 2009. Not a ringer in the bunch – trust me!
—The Curator
The ex-boyfriend of Belle de Jour who threatened to expose her identity has now apparently threatened her today and her current partner, prompting her to notify police to take appropriate action and provide protection.
The ex-boyfriend said in a chilling published statement that he was, essentially, challenging Belle's current boyfriend to a real and very bizarre pugilistic duel!
"Meet me with a Second and a Referee. I will come with my own and a medic," he wrote in part to Belle and her current boyfriend. "Let me recap. I am deadly serious on this...(Belle) deserves this...She knows how stubborn I am on this type of thing. I will start training tomorrow."
For those of you who are unfamiliar with her, Belle de Jour had been the nom de plume of a celebrated erotic author, and award-winning blogger, who was also a London call girl for two years.
On Sunday, Belle revealed that her true identity is the respected research scientist Dr. Brooke Magnanti in a voluntary interview with the London Sunday Times. Her self-disclosure ended literally years of wild speculation by the literary pundits in the UK, as well as expensive attempts to uncover her secret by the media.
Brooke is now living happily in Bristol with long-term boyfriend T, whom had urged her to come forward voluntarily and disclose her true identity.
“T (thought I’d) be much happier once I’ve got this off my chest,” she told the newspaper. “He knew I was Belle before we started dating properly. He told me something that showed he trusted me, and I felt I could trust him back by telling him. It was the acid test. At that point I’d become convinced that nobody who knew I was Belle would want me.”
In her writing, Brooke had identified her ex-boyfriend only as The Boy, a moniker she attached to him for his often juvenile and inappropriate behavior. When she contacted the newspaper on Sunday she did so partially, “because she’s had enough of being anonymous, and there is also an ex-boyfriend with a big mouth lurking in the background; outing herself while she still has a measure of control over how it happens seems the sensible option,” wrote columnist India Knight, who interviewed Brooke.
The following day, various media located Brooke’s ex-boyfriend, but he demanded that the newspapers not identify him. At first, The Boy pleaded for Brooke to return to him, claiming he had not known she had been a high-priced call girl, but that all was now forgiven.
Today, Brooke posted on twitpic a rambling statement/rant from The Boy. In it, his self-indulgent pleading had evolved into something much, much darker that now sounds like a very dangerous, twisted obsession.
As a result, Brooke contacted Bristol police, and precautions have also been taken at her employment, and The Boy’s employer has also been notified and are investigating his behavior. Brooke said little about the incident, primarily allowing The Boy’s frightening post to speak volumes for itself.
I have included the pertinent portion in total:
The Boy begins by quoting a partial entry from Belle’s blog, describing them in bed together years ago: She “purred that I really should take up boxing, again that she could help me train to become stronger still. Well this is it. This is the time. Tell your “friend,” tell “T,” he failed her and needs to be a lot stronger to protect her from here on in. Tell him that his first test, his first trial and proof of his love is to meet me. I know about him, he must certainly know about me now. Everyone else does. Tell him to meet me, just as I was going to him in February before Brooke stopped me. Meet me with a Second and a Referee. I will come with my own and a medic. I know several in Bristol. It’s nine months later than expected but they are good stout fellows and will agree to it again. I can move quickly on this.
“Let me recap. I am deadly serious on this. Tell “T” that (I) will meet him Marquis of Queenberry rules. (I) will meet him and I will let him prove to her that he can take what is to come when the rest of this comes out. She deserves this, I am sure he will love the opportunity to prove his worth to her. Especially with someone he no doubt loathes in turn. This will be his Christmas and birthday come early. I will not back down. She knows how stubborn I am on this type of thing. I will start training tomorrow. I will be back to 16 stone soon enough. The longer he leaves it the harder it will be for him. If he doesn’t come to me I will simply come to him. She has made it very easy for the world to find us both. It is in his own best interests to be quick and choose the venue. He can try to beat me but until then I will not back down. He was a disgrace to his service and he is a disgrace to her. He deserves this as much as I do.
POSTED BY THE BOY AT 00:55”
On her fabulous blog, Brooke posted the following regarding the horrible incident:
“jeudi, novembre 19
I am willing to live with the fact that there are (at least) two sides to every story, that anyone who knows me is entitled to their say if they feel so moved. I've written four books about what a terrible girlfriend I am: I have nothing more to hide now and will take the criticism.
Or as A1 put it, if you only know one side of the story, you know less than nothing.
However while letting others put their side to the papers – and maintaining their anonymity if they so wish it – is acceptable, threats are NOT acceptable. Bullying is NOT acceptable.
The physical threat posted by my ex (is NOT acceptable.)
I am going to the police TODAY.
Posted by belle at 10:25 AM”
In terms of Brooke’s employment, her specialist areas are developmental neurotoxicology and cancer epidemiology. She has a PhD in informatics, epidemiology and forensic science and is now working at the Bristol Initiative for Research of Child Health. She is currently part of a team researching the potential effects on babies of their mothers' exposure to toxic chemicals.
(FYI: Photo above is of The Boy and Brooke. He had his face blocked out to protect his identity.)
— The Curator
I really like sex – a lot. But, I haven’t always. In fact, this is the first time in my life I’ve ever been at peace with – and thoroughly relishing in – my true and honest sexuality.
I’ve been learning to deal with severe lupus for several years. You probably think this topic wouldn’t be connected to that challenge, but it is. Actually, it’s one of the most important aspects of coping with Mr. Wolf (the name I call my disease, since lupus is the Latin word for wolf.)
I’ve never, ever, written about sex in a personal way before, except on Twitter. Ironically, the constraints of Twitter’s 140 character limit frees my soul to be honest and discuss this fascinating, vital, and oh-so-human of subjects.
Anyone struggling with a serious disease or disability (of which lupus is both) soon discovers that there’s very little that the doctors actually prepare you for, in this new world of icky, awful illness.
Thus, the vast changes that are certain to befall your life are unexpected and really shocking. Sex falls into this category, for me. When I was introduced to Mr. Wolf, my body became THE enemy overnight. I didn’t know her anymore.
I have the most serious form of the disease, Systemic Lupus Erythematosus (pronounced: er-uh-thee-muh-toe-sus), also called SLE. (See the Lupus Foundation of America.) SLE is an autoimmune disease. As such, it is characterized by a malfunction of the immune system. In these types of diseases, the immune system cannot distinguish between the body’s own cells and tissues and that of ‘foreign’ matter. So, rather than simply producing antibodies to attack invading viruses, bacteria or other similar foreign substances, my immune system creates auto-antibodies that attack my body’s own cells and/or tissues.
Why was my own body trying to destroy, or even kill me? Was it because I'm gay? Was it simply random?
I thought about it constantly. You see, Mr. Wolf not only effects my skin causing hideous red rashes (face, hands and legs,) but it’s systematically destroying my synovial joints, including the tendons in my hands, arms and legs, even the lining of my abdomen has been adversely affected. Sadly, I am slowly, but surely, losing my ability to walk.
I also have occasional swelling of my brain stem, which interrupts my cognition and memory – have I already said that? It has also attacked my serous (moisture-forming) membranes found in the lymph nodes. My illness has also been punctuated by acute episodes or "flare-ups" or "flares" of horrible sickness, and ever-briefer periods of stability. I have found that even sunlight worsens it.
At first, I often found myself looking deeply into the mirror: Who was this stranger that had taken over my body? And, even more importantly, how could I ever learn to live with her?
In addition, I had no desire for sex – I didn’t even want to be touched at all! Instead, I began to believe that I had no body, that I was no longer a woman, or even a human being, but simply a lump of flesh that temporarily housed my brain until my ever-approaching death.
I fell into a deep-as-the-deepest ravine depression. After a very long time, there was nothing left of the person who I once was. Nothing, absolutely nothing, remained. Or so I thought. I was wrong. Very wrong. A tiny, itty-bitty, bright even luminous speck of something had survived Mr. Wolf’s onslaught.
Was it my soul? I still don’t know. But, I have come to believe it was the divine spark of creation housed within all beings; that indescribable “something” that connects us all to each other regardless of race, gender, age, creed, religion or geography. Whatever it was, I felt it. Visceral. Real. I had not felt anything for so long, that it overcame me and I began to weep.
Suddenly, it dawned on me that instead of fighting with/or hiding from Mr. Wolf, I should try to initiate a truce. Peaceful co-existence. But, just how could I go about that? The answer was beyond obvious: reclaim my body, make her a part of me again. Integration in a literal sense. I would try to be kind, nurturing, draw her back – woo her as would a gentle lover. A long, heart-felt embrace might work. The ultimate seduction: The self.
Suddenly, abruptly even, she was no longer the enemy, nor was she a victim. She was simply, me. As I worked through it, I realized that my sexuality was the key, perhaps even the key to everything. I needed to feel arousal again, not even to feel sexy yet, but to just feel a nano flash of sexual interest – a little zing in the right place, down there!
To be honest, I had no idea how to do that, either. So, I did what I always do when I have a problem, I researched, then I read, then I researched some more.
In doing that, I ran across some articles that mentioned erotica, then I ran across erotica! Whoa. I’m divorced and in my 50’s, and gay -- certainly not a prude, but I could still be shocked. To be honest, it wasn’t long before that shock traveled from by brain to...uh...nether regions. Eureka!
There was no way I could approach a partner with so little to offer, and with no confidence at all. What to do, what to do? I hadn’t masturbated since I was a teenager. Frankly, I wasn’t even very good at it back then. I didn’t feel guilty, I think it was a lack of creativity. I couldn’t stay focused. I didn’t even remember how many times I’d tried it, but I knew it was a million lifetimes ago.
Even though I felt shy and embarrassed at those ancient, sepia-tone memories, I knew I needed to try it again. As usual, I didn’t know how best to go about it. So, I researched, then I read, then I researched some more. I soon rewarded, finding an incredible organization and website called, The Welcomed Consensus which is devoted to that topic, and so much more.
Thanks to the website, I learned the latest sure-fire techniques, all taught in a wonderfully sex-positive way that boosts confidence, as well as libido. Women are more than respected at the site, they are revered as the complex human beings that we are.
I even learned all of the correct names for my own genitalia, not only clitoris and vagina! It’s ridiculous that I didn’t know this basic information, don’t you think? Men certainly know their’s, as they do all women they have sex with, for that matter.
Well, after all of that research, I was SO VERY stoked to stroke, so to speak!
Then, disaster, complete and utter devastation! My disability prevented the movement required to even be remotely successful. Good grief, I was mortified! What to do, what to do? I loathed Mr. Wolf more at that moment than I had ever since the bastard had overrun my life.
What to do, what to do? I researched, then I read, then I researched some more. Do you know what I learned? There are NO aids to help people with disabilities have sex, or even to make it more comfortable. None, nada, no way, no how, none at all. Zip, zero. Get the utterly non-orgasmic picture?
There are zillions (at least it seemed like zillions if not kazillions) of so-called marital aids or sex toys, which are just the politically correct ways of referring to dildos, vibrators, nipple clamps, intimate lubricants, cock-rings, whips, paddles, leather corsets and the like. But, nothing for the disabled. Apparently, even the sex industry views us as useless, totally sexless creatures.
No longer was I shy and embarrassed, now I was flat-out-FUCKING furious! My fury was so great that it overcame my puritan upbringing, and I actually emailed inquiries to several sex toy companies. I was right; nothing to help me or my “kind,” I was told.
Okay then, I’d simply have to...improvise.
That was several years ago. After fits and starts I was eventually able to touch what I needed to touch. Success was achieved only after crafting my own device, which basically behaves as a curved extension of my own hand and fingers. There were, however, several prototypical failures before I developed the eventual winner. Whew, what a process!
I must admit that as a result of my endeavors I was forced, so to speak, to specifically learn what my body truly needs. Shockingly, I hadn’t known that before, despite having been a sexually active adult. Previously, I had only known in detail what my partner needed from me to achieve sexual fulfillment.
Ultimately, my understanding of the importance of enfolding my body with love and tenderness led to an ability to do the same with a partner. I am once again, a fully-functioning woman. But, this woman is the not the same woman whom I had been. No, this new version embraces her sexuality, every aspect, every dot and iota of the experience. I’ve even devotedly studied tantric sexual meditations, which have enriched my entire life.
Mr. Wolf is not present in my bedroom any more. The ability to bar him from any area of my life was such a huge victory that it is almost indescribable. Over time, that victory has led to many others, large and small. Now, he is no longer the star he once was, but has instead been relegated to a mere annoying bit player in my life.
Make no mistake, it was that first victory – regaining my own sexuality – that was the turning point in achieving my mental and physical stability. I will always have lupus, but lupus no longer has me.
It’s not easy, emotionally or physically, to have a satisfying sex life when you’re disabled, suffering from an acute disease, or illness. I am convinced, however, that it is impossible to thrive without one. Sex doesn’t just promote overall health, it promotes the very breath of life.
---The Curator
I have been pondering.
Why has the revelation by the fabulous Belle de Jour that she is the equally fabulous and well-regarded research scientist Dr. Brooke Magnanti hit the literary world with such staggering force?
My buddy, BISH, also raises this question on his great blog.
Would there have been this much uproar if Belle and been a Ben? Is the real reason that Belle’s reveal became such a BIG deal because she is, in fact, an accomplished woman? I say abso-fucking-lutely!
The foundation of the literary world was shaken because an "unknown" female writer, with worldly experience and fucking-freaking talent, had the audacity to challenge the old guard. Hey fellas, that writer is STILL STANDING, and she's better and stronger than ever!
For those of you who are unfamiliar with her, Belle de Jour had been the nom de plume of a celebrated erotic author, and award-winning blogger, who was also a London call girl for two years.
On Sunday, Belle revealed her true identity through a voluntary interview with the London Sunday Times. Brooke’s specialist areas are developmental neurotoxicology and cancer epidemiology. She has a PhD in informatics, epidemiology and forensic science and is now working at the Bristol Initiative for Research of Child Health. She is currently part of a team researching the potential effects on babies of their mothers' exposure to toxic chemicals.
But, from 2003 to late 2004, Brooke worked as a prostitute via a London escort agency; she started blogging as Belle de Jour — after the Buñuel film starring Catherine Deneuve as a well-to-do housewife who has sex for money because she’s bored — shortly into her career as a call girl, after an incident she thought funny enough to write down.
She charged £300 an hour for her services, of which she got £200. The average appointment lasted two hours; she saw clients two or three times a week, “sometimes less, sometimes a great deal more,” she told the London Sunday Times.
As a US fan since her first blog post hit the internet in 2003, I had never fully understood until now how devotedly the UK media had gone to unmask Belle. Nor was I truly cognizant of the amazing number of theories about her even existing. Apparently, the most popular was that Belle was a construct, a true fake, a non-person created by a famous male writer or journalist! How utterly insulting and deeply chauvinistic.
To me, the truth is quite simple: Belle/Brooke continues to break every mold, and challenge tired and offensive stereotypes, while having a wonderfully sex-filled time of it all. And the male literary bastions can't FUCKING stand it!
As a reader, it never occurred to me that Belle was anything other than she purported to be. Her writing was real, and her literary voice completely authentic and utterly unique. I still check her blog every day. I’ve never missed a post, not because she’s famous or controversial, but because she’s a lyrical, important writer who’s had a deep impact on me and my life.
Even though I never knew her name until now, I know her. She has become a dear friend through her writing. She has written about her sexual adventures and misadventures while having worked in the sex industry, but so very much more. In truth, Belle/Brooke has always written about life.
What sets her writing apart is not merely the topics, and the point of view, but the way she writes. She has a unique style, an unforgettable voice. Equal parts humor, wit, wisdom and shining, literate brilliance, there is unflinching truth within her writing. All the time, somehow managing to be incredibly entertaining.
In addition, she is a sex-positive woman who likes men! I don’t mean just in bed, but as a species. Can you imagine? In this day and age of constant man bashing by so-called feminists, it’s refreshing to read a different approach.
If you truly read her blog, it would never occur to you that she is not real, or that she is a he, for God’s sake! I have just begun to imagine how Brooke must have felt to have had to read that dreck for years without being able to set the record straight.
In fact, it was recent criticism by the Archbishop of York that was the final straw.
“He didn’t think I was real either,” Brooke told the London Sunday Times. “He said I was fiction. I thought, when did I become fictional? That’s when I first thought, enough — I’m coming out.
“The thing is that people are complex. People lead complicated lives. I’m not the only person walking around who’s an ex-call-girl, believe me. And you can’t say I’m not real, and that my experience isn’t real, because here I am,” Brooke added.
As usual, it was Brooke’s WRITING in her Sunday blog post that best explained her decision: “What it took me years to realise is that while I've changed a lot since writing these diaries – my life has moved on so much, in part thanks to the things that happened then – Belle will always be a part of me. She doesn't belong in a little box, but as a fully acknowledged side of a real person. The non-Belle part of my life isn't the only ‘real’ bit, it’s ALL real.
Belle and the person who wrote her had been apart too long. I had to bring them back together.
So a perfect storm of feelings and circumstances drew me out of hiding. And do you know what? It feels so much better on this side. Not to have to tell lies, hide things from the people I care about. To be able to defend what my experience of sex work is like to all the sceptics and doubters.
Anonymity had a purpose then – it will always have a reason to exist, for writers whose work is too damaging or too controversial to put their names on. But for me, it became important to acknowledge that aspect of my life and my personality to the world at large.
I am a woman. I lived in London. I was a call girl.
The people, the places, the actions and feelings are as true now as they were then, and I stand behind every word with pride. Thank you for reading and following my adventures.
Love, Belle”
Asked specifically why she decided to reveal herself now, Brooke told the London Sunday Times, “It was time. I’ve felt so much guardedness and paranoia about remaining anonymous recently. It’s really been playing with my emotions. Now I just really want to be on the other side of this. I don’t mind what happens about coming out; I don’t want this massive secret over me any more. It’s changing the way I behave around people, the way I conduct my life.”
Since then, the media and bloggers have gone bonkers over her revelation, and I have worried incessantly about her, clucking about like a mother hen. A friend told me not to, that Brooke would handle the media frenzy like water off a duck’s back. He was so right!
Brooke has emerged as she ever was, calm, funny, strong, passionate, centered and continuing her more-than-quotable writing!
Part of my concern came from my own life experience. I had kept my own sexuality, I’m gay, closeted throughout my work life. When I finally released it, I did so because the weight of the unspoken truth threatened to crush me surer than the feared actions by some homophobic co-worker or boss. Nonetheless, I shook for weeks with the anxiety before and after my disclosure, and I didn’t come out to the whole fucking world!
Brooke, 34, has also told her mother, who now lives in the US, releasing this statement yesterday: “My mother is being fully supportive and says she’s ’not one to judge’,” she said. “I, for one, am happy and relieved.”
Elsewhere on the web, Brooke added, “Yes, mum has been especially good & supportive. Wish I'd told them sooner, now.”
I was thrilled by this. In addition, her co-workers, employer and publisher have all supported Brooke. Bravo to all!
And the blog that kickstarted all this? “The blog will continue for the time being, even though it doesn’t feel authentic to keep on being Belle. But I’ll keep on for a bit. I’d like her to have a happy ending.”
May the shining Belle de Jour have the best and happiest of endings, and may the equally shining Brooke Magnanti have the best and happiest of beginnings. I continue to vow to be first in line at the bookstore for anything and everything that Brooke ever writes!
