It is so typically American to hype an infamous call-girl as someone who is also qualified to give advice, and who just happens to be a writer, too. Frankly, the one and only person who fits that description is the fabulous Belle de Jour. For those of you who are unfamiliar with her, Belle de Jour had been the nom de plume of a celebrated British erotic author, who was also a London call girl for two years. On Nov. 15, Belle revealed her true identity is Dr. Brooke Magnanti, of Bristol, England, a noted scientist. If you want the real deal, do yourself a favor and read HER blog.
But, I digress. Back to Dupre. What kind of advice is she dispensing? "No-nonsense advice," The Post says. About sex, love, relationships – Christmas gifts. Good grief!
I believe the reasons that the column is remotely readable is because it's either very highly edited or almost completely ghost written.
"Sure, she's made some mistakes," The Post declares right up front about its new Sunday columnist, but says she's now sharing what she's learned.
Dupre's column in the newspaper that was founded by Alexander Hamilton in 1801 features a photo of the one-time escort in casual office mode, wearing glasses, a light jacket and a generously unbuttoned blue blouse (classic librarian porn image.)
Dupre fields a string of readers questions from how to tell if a daughter is getting into trouble to whether a girlfriend is lying when she says she doesn't like porn ("I'm not big into myself," Dupre notes) to what to give a wife "that will make her feel special and loved?"
But given the Spitzer saga, most attention for her debut column will no doubt focus on a question ostensibly from an East Village reader: "Are there tell-tale signs a man isn't happy in his marriage?
Ashley's insight:
Guys are primal. They're proud and need to be treated like they're proud and special.
Girlfriends do that for the most part. But I think that wives with children have so much pressure on them, the natural thing is for the kids to take priority. The husband feels secondary and in one form or another may seek out that required special attention outside the marriage.
Guys are so easy to please and I don't just mean sexually. We all need to feel loved and appreciated. Ask yourself, when was the last time you did something to make your husband feel loved, special and appreciated...and if you can't remember, then that's your sign right there.
The children are a product of your love for each other. Your relationship should always be priority. Always. Remember, happy parents usually means happy children.
Wow! What insight, what wit, style and literate utterings! Sorry, I digress once again. Below you can read her debut column, or check it out at the New York Post online.
Ask Ashley
By Ashley Dupre
Last Updated: 12:21 PM, December 14, 2009
“Sure, she's made some mistakes. But now Ashley Dupre, the former escort who brought down Gov. Eliot Spitzer, is sharing what she's learned in her new sex, love and relationship column – exclusively in the New York Post. Is your husband cheating? Is your daughter on a dangerous path? Our readers asked – and Ashley fired back with her no-nonsense advice.
How do I know if my daughter may be getting into trouble? – Meredith, 40, Queens
It's all a matter of having the right perspective and approach. Most teenagers will do stupid things. What were you doing when you were a teenager? For a long time I was actually an honor-roll student and a great kid. I respected my parents and my elders.
Things really changed for me when my brother ran away when he was 15 and my parents were terrified that the same thing would happen to me, so they were incredibly strict with me...and that caused me to rebel and go the opposite way.
If your daughter is getting good grades, shows you respect and has a good head on her shoulders, give her room to go out, grow and make mis takes. And be there when she falls. I would definitely educate her on what is out there in the world to be wary of.
Sometimes instilling a little (but not too much) fear into her is not a bad thing. It validates your concerns so she won't think you're just being an overbearing, overprotective parent who isn't ready for her to grow up.
She is growing up, whether you like it or not. I suggest you be able to talk to her about boys, sex, alcohol and drugs, because they're around and kids do experiment. Would you rather educate her or have her getting alcohol-poisoning at a party? I'm not saying that you should condone that behavior, but you need to help her manage peer pressure and you do that not by saying "don't do any of it, it's all bad." We all know that sometimes we're attracted to the forbidden fruit.
Are there telltale signs a man isn't happy in his marriage? – J. Marshall, 37, East Village
Guys are primal. They're proud and need to be treated like they're proud and special.
Girlfriends do that for the most part. But I think that wives with children have so much pressure on them, the natural thing is for the kids to take priority. The husband feels secondary and in one form or another may seek out that required special attention outside the marriage.
Guys are so easy to please and I don't just mean sexually. We all need to feel loved and appreciated. Ask yourself, when was the last time you did something to make your husband feel loved, special and appreciated...and if you can't remember, then that's your sign right there.
The children are a product of your love for each other. Your relationship should always be priority. Always. Remember, happy parents usually means happy children.
My boyfriend wants to know how many men I've slept with. Do I give an honest answer? – Anonymous, NYC
You don't give him an answer at all. It's really none of his business (and vice versa).
It's like you asking him how many lap dances he's gotten in his life. You know you've each slept with people in the past. It's part of being an adult and has nothing to do with your relationship now and your possible future together.
Some things are better left unsaid.
My girlfriend says she doesn't like porn. Is she lying? – David K, 36, TriBeCa
Some women don't like porn and some love it. I'm not big into it myself. But I must say, I was buying the Liberator [sex aid] and I was watching the demonstration video for all the different positions and I was thinking about my boyfriend at the time, and it got me super turned on...just thinking about him and us, and exploring all the different positions on this thing.
Try sending her an e-mail of a soft-porn clip and say "I can't wait to do this to you tonight." And see what she says.
What's the no-fail Christmas gift I can get my wife that will make her feel special and loved? – Brian N., 39, Lower E. Side
Women are really not as complicated as men think. If we love you, it doesn't take much.
It's the little things that married people sometimes forget. Like spending romantic alone time together. I think sometimes you get so wrapped up in the kids, you put your relationship second by default and that's definitely not healthy for the relationship.
How about a night in a really nice hotel away from the kids and out of the house? Make reservations at the most romantic or her favorite restaurant in the city – at dinner, tell her she's the most beautiful person in the world and how lucky you are to have her and how happy she makes you.
There's no such thing as a "no-fail" gift to make a women feel special and loved. The no-fail gift is your actions and making her feel like she is for the 364 days leading up to Christmas. So get to work.
Look for Ashley every Sunday in the Post's "Meet Market"
Have a question? E-mail Ashleydupre@nypost.com.”
I believe in legalized adult prostitution, so I tend to error on the side of its promotion on this blog. That is why I decided to run the debut of this so-called advice column. But again, if you have interest in this type of thing, I strongly advise you to read Belle de Jour every chance you get!
As Belle de Jour, Brooke has written four books in addition to her always incredible blog about her work in the sex industry. Belle de Jour’s Guide to Men, published by Orion Books, hit store shelves in the United Kingdom on Oct. 1. Not yet available in the US, it is widely available at UK bookstores, or via Amazon’s UK division.
When you’re there, be sure and check out Belle’s other books: The Intimate Adventures of a London Call Girl, September 2005; The Further Adventures of a London Call Girl, May 2007; and Playing the Game, June 2009. Not a ringer in the bunch – trust me!
— The Curator
No comments:
Post a Comment