Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Really, Really LOUD Sex Romps End in Court

A British housewife is in big trouble — for repeatedly having VERY noisy sex with her husband. Investigators went so far as to sample decibel levels at a neighbor’s while the woman flagrante delicto!

I love England! This would so NEVER happen in the U.S. First, women here tend not to be that loud, and if they were, they would never be taken to court, someone would simply bang on the wall to shut them up.

This report underscores what I have found often true about the British: They maintain a facade of public civility at all costs, but embrace their sexual nature with wonderful, even gleeful abandon.

Yesterday, a British woman admitted breaching a four-year Anti-Social Behavior Order given in April after hundreds of complaints from neighbors about her deafening sexual romps with her husband, and is now in violation of that order.

An Anti-Social Behavior Order, or ASBO for short, is a civil order made against people deemed to be a public nuisance, and is more typically issued for young delinquents using threatening behavior, or disrupting the peace.

Caroline Cartwright, 48, had been served with the civil order over marathon sex romps with her husband, described in court as sounding "unnatural" and "like they are both in considerable pain."

The order had been made to stop her from "making excessive noise" during the ear-splitting sex sessions with her husband, Steve, at their home in Concord, Washington, Tyne and Wear. The notice had specifically banned Mrs. Cartwright from "shouting, screaming or vocalization at such a level as to be a statutory nuisance."

Neighbors at their home in Washington, south of Newcastle in northeast England, had complained about the levels of noise – as did a woman taking her child to school and the local postman!

Yesterday, Mrs. Cartwright pleaded guilty at Newcastle Crown Court to breaching the civil order banning her from having noisy on sex three occasions — once just hours after the ban was imposed in April. She pleaded guilty to making love with sounds described as "murder," "unnatural," and capable of drowning out her neighbors' TVs.

At an earlier hearing, the court was told that the local Sunderland City Council had set up special equipment in a neighbor's “flat” and recorded noise levels when the Cartwright’s went at it. The equipment recorded the Cartwright’s sex noise levels at an average of 30-40 decibels, peaking at 47 – World Health Organization guidelines say 30 decibels is enough to cause sleep disturbance.

"It's just quite unnatural. The noise sounds like they are both in considerable pain. I cannot describe the noise. Totally excessive and I have never, ever heard anything like it. I put my television in my bedroom on as loud as it could go and they drown it out," said the couple's neighbor Rachel O'Connor.

At Newcastle Crown Court yesterday, Mrs. Cartwright admitted breaching the ASBO on April 18, April 22 and April 26. As a result, Mrs. Cartwright was convicted of breaching the order and ruled in violation of the ASBO.

Despite her guilty pleas, Judge Beatrice Bolton said Mrs. Cartwright will not go to jail when she is sentenced on January 18. "I'm certainly not going to pass an immediate custodial sentence but I am going to order a pre-sentence report. This is not the usual sort of anti-social behavior. The reason why I am asking for a pre-sentence report is because it is such an unusual case and this is the first breach. If it were to be a custodial sentence it would be suspended, I think, at this stage," the Judge said.

Mrs. Cartwright, who will be sentenced in Newcastle on Jan. 18, was granted bail to a hostel away from her home in Washington.

Last month she appealed against the imposition of the Asbo, saying she is "powerless" to control herself during romps. Giving evidence, Mrs. Cartwright said she was unable to control the noise she made during sex.

"I did not understand why people asked me to be quiet because to me it is normal. I didn't understand where they were coming from. I have tried to minimize the situation by having sex in the morning – not at night – so the noise was not waking anybody," she said.

The order had been imposed by Sunderland Magistrates after she repeatedly breached a noise abatement notice made after more than 250 complaints from neighbors about her "shouting and screaming."

Her grounds for appeal were that she is unable to control her vocalization during lovemaking, and any attempt at restricting her behavior is a breach of her human rights.

But a judge, sitting with two magistrates, threw out her appeal and dismissed her claim she was unable to control herself, saying, "Frankly, we don't believe her."
---The Curator


  1. I seem to remember reading somewhere that you could make as much noise as you wished during sex in Sweden. So long as it was during the daytime. Had sometime to do with normal life activities. That would be fine in the Summer. But those long Winter nights might pose a problem. ;-)

    Is Still Here

  2. Amazing that we have to have laws like this at all. Leave it to Sweden to be fair and practical!

  3. Here is the USA it would probably be wise to check the state and local laws before getting too local. There are some awful intrusive regulations still in place and enough crusading public officials out there to give you pause.

  4. Dear Surviving: All too true, no? Oral sex remains illegal in a lot of US states! Time to move into the 21st Century already. Thanks for your thoughtful comment!