The incomparable Belle de Jour continued to tease with new excerpts from her upcoming book on relationships, a followup to her blockbuster “Guide to Men” from last year.
Happily, it will soon be the guy’s turn to hear her advice, in Belle de Jour’s Guide to Women, scheduled to be published in the UK.
For those of you who are unfamiliar with her, Belle de Jour had been the nom de plume of a celebrated British erotic author, who was also a London call girl for two years.
Last year, Belle revealed she is Dr. Brooke Magnanti, of Bristol, England, a noted scientist. Brooke’s specialist areas are developmental neurotoxicology and cancer epidemiology. She has a PhD in informatics, epidemiology and forensic science and is now working at the Bristol Initiative for Research of Child Health. She is currently part of a team researching the potential effects on babies of their mothers' exposure to toxic chemicals.
So fans, sit back and begin to learn a bit of what every man should know about dating and relationships. Here’s her current blog post in full. Read it here, or read it directly on Brooke’s award-winng blog:
“lundi, avril 19
Belle's Guide to Women... another installment in the very occasional series.
Now for some dating gobsmackers: screw the generalisations. I've compiled a short list of horrors from female friends who are actually there at the coal face of dating (plus dropped in a few memorable episodes of my own). Men, just don't do this:
1. Claim to be 30, only to turn up to meet your date sporting fully grey cornrows.
2. Chat with your mum on the phone throughout the date. If it's to do with something serious (she's dying in hospital), cancel the date, fool.
3. Set the meeting place at a pub without disclosing beforehand that you don't drink.
4. Invite a girl you just met to your dead sister's memorial service...
5. ...which your date's ex is also planning to attend.
6. Take your date unexpectedly to a swinger's club, and when she baulks, suggest picking up a hooker on the way home instead.
7. Offer your date a piece of food you picked up right after touching your feet.
8. Claim to be 6 inches taller than you actually are. Shoes won't help (sorry, Tom Cruise).
9. Compare her to your favourite (dead) pet.
10. Reveal halfway through the second date that you are:
- married, but
- since it was only a marriage of convenience, not actually married, though
- you're not divorced yet, and in fact still living together, added to which
- you can't actually get a divorce since you don't know where the marriage certificate is and can't be bothered to look for it. Oh, and you're not paying for this meal either, we did discuss that, right?
POSTED BY BELLE DE JOUR AT 7:08 AM”
In addition to Guide to Men and a great book entitled Belle’s Bits, her other books are: The Intimate Adventures of a London Call Girl, September 2005; The Further Adventures of a London Call Girl, May 2007; and Playing the Game, June 2009. All of her books are widely available across the pond at Amazon UK. You can go to the website, or use the Amazon UK “widget” at the bottom of this blog, which features all of Brooke’s wonderful titles.
Her writing has been so popular that it became the basis for the international hit TV series, Secret Diary of a Call Girl, starring Billie Piper. It can be seen on Showtime in the U.S., and the first two seasons are available on DVD. The third season premiered this month, and was previewed by a special 30-minute interview of Brooke by Billie.
— The Curator