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Hoosier Nation will now be known for much more than college sports – S-E-X!
Researchers from the University of Indiana just released results after compiling the largest survey in decades of U.S. sexual behavior. Researchers documented sexual experiences and condom use by 5,865 Americans, aged from 14 to 94.
Results are from The National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior, which was published yesterday in a special edition of the Journal of Sexual Medicine. In fact, there was so much interest in the study that the website that posted it crashed today.
The most shocking revelation in the survey may be its reminder how little attention scientists in this country pay to this crucial dimension of human experience.
The survey is the first comprehensive study of sexual and sexual health-related behaviors undertaken in nearly two decades, and one of only a handful conducted since the pioneering but limited studies Alfred Kinsey published more than half a century ago.
This paucity of research helps explain the "sexually dysfunctional society" former U.S. Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders bemoans in her introduction to the new study. The voluminous data also should help everyone from parents to legislators make more informed decisions about a component of behavior that now impacts nearly a third of this country's health care expenditures.
What researchers found was both expected and surprising. Broadly, the survey results confirm that humans are sexual beings from cradle to grave and that Americans are sexually active for an ever greater portion of their lives. The results show that oral sex and masturbation are now prevalent across nearly every age cohort from 18 to 92, and that a wide range of practices once considered abhorrent are commonplace among Americans of every age, sexual orientation and relationship status.
Not surprisingly, researchers found a gender gap and a generation gap in the sex lives of Americans.
The survey results should particularly interest doctors studying sexually transmitted infections, which affect one in four women between 14 and 19 years of age, and unintended pregnancies, which account for more than half of all pregnancies in the U.S. Those results indicate both the efficacy of expanded sex education (sexually active teenagers are now more likely to use a condom than their Baby Boomer counterparts) and its limitations (more than 40 percent of such teenage condom users report starting sex without a condom).
"Our main point is that sex is more than just vaginal intercourse. While it does appear to be the most common behavior...many people are being diverse in their sexual lives," said Michael Reece, director of Indiana University's Center for Sexual Health Promotion and a study author.
It will also come as no surprise, that men continue to think they perform better than they really do in the bedroom. Some 85 percent of men said the last woman they slept with had an orgasm during their most recent sexual event. Yet when the researchers asked women the same question, just 64 percent agreed.
To me, this so-called “orgasm gap” means that sadly some women are continuing to “fake it” with their male partners. Apparently, the technique made famous by the movie Harry Met Sally 
remains in place.
Unfortunately, this behavior is being blamed by the “experts” on men stopping at pleasing themselves, without ensuring that their female partner is also satisfied. To illustrate the point, the study found that men are more likely to orgasm when sex includes vaginal intercourse, while women are more likely to orgasm when they engage in a variety of sex acts (also NO surprise.)
I find that analysis annoying, to say the least, and inappropriately anti-male. I think men are much more apt to try to satisfy their female partners in this day and age, but we women still have problems articulating our needs.
To me, both sexes need to do more than touch – they need to talk. Men need to learn the real, physical signs of orgasm in women so they won’t be fooled, and women need to tell men how they like, and need to be touched and try not to fool them. If women do not know how their individual bodies responds, then they need to do some personal research to find out, then convey that crucial information to their partners.
Extensive research confirms that most women orgasm more easily with a combination of sexual activities, more extensive foreplay and if intercourse is included, stimulation of the clitoris should also be included. A minority of women have been found to orgasm with intercourse only – and that has NOTHING to do with their male partner, but their own anatomy. Other researchers have found that the only nerve centers in the vagina extend only about three inches in, beyond that, there is no sensation.
Some good news from the new survey is that teenagers are much more vigilant about condom use, if they are having sex at all. The survey also found that a majority of teens are not having sex. Of course, all of the findings are based on self-reporting.
Among sexually active teenagers, boys said they used a condom 79 per cent of the time, while girls reported that their partners used one 58 per cent of the time. Again, an interesting gender difference.
Here are a few other findings:
• Friends with benefits? Nearly 17 percent of men ages 50 to 59 reported their last sexual experience was with a friend (compared with 13 percent for those 18-24). For women, 16 percent of those aged 18-24 said their last sexual experience was with a friend, compared with nearly 10 percent for those aged 50 to 59.
• Seven percent of women and 8 percent of men identified themselves as something other than heterosexual. Five percent of women identified themselves as lesbian or bisexual and just under 7 percent of men identified themselves as gay or bisexual.
• About 40 percent of men and women ages 25 to 39 say they have vaginal intercourse a few times a month to once a week.
• About 10 percent of women ages 18 to 39 masturbate alone two to three times a week. One in five men age 25 to 29 said they masturbated four or more times per week.
• About a third of young men 16 to 17 reported receiving oral sex from a female. Some 23.5 percent of young women 16 to 17 reported receiving oral sex in the last year from a male partner.
• Four in 10 men age 25 to 59 say they have engaged in anal intercourse in their lifetime; the female percentage was similar for women 20 to 49.
• One-fifth of married men in their 50s, and one third of married men in their 60s, have not had vaginal sex in the past year.
• Forty-three percent of men of all ages said their last sexual event was "extremely" pleasurable. Among women, 29 percent rated their last sexual experience as "extremely" pleasurable. About one in three women compared with 5 percent of men reported experiencing pain the last time they had sex.
The following is a commentary from Slate:
The Ass Man Cometh
Experimentation, orgasms, and the rise of anal sex.
By William Saletan
"A new national sex survey is out. Published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, it reveals who's doing what, with whom, and how. It clarifies the prevalence of gay sex, teenage intercourse, and oral gratification. But the big story is the increase in anal sex reported by women—and its possible connection to female orgasms.
Let's start with the foreplay: a few other trends worth noting.
1. What teens are doing. By ages 14-15, 10 percent of boys say they've had vaginal sex. By ages 16-17, the number is up to 30 percent. By ages 18-19, it's above 60 percent. For girls, the trajectory is almost identical. Oral sex follows a similar trend. At ages 14-15, 9 percent of boys say they've performed cunnilingus. By ages 16-17, 20 percent say they've done it, and by ages 18-19, 61 percent say they've done it. Among girls aged 14-15, the number who say they've given a boy oral sex is 13 percent. By ages 16-17, it's 29 percent. By ages 18-19, it's 61 percent. If you're turning 20 and you haven't gone down on somebody, you're in the minority.
2. Oral ubiquity. It's funny to look back at the previous national survey, taken in 1992. In that report, the authors marveled at the mainstreaming of oral sex. Now the whole question of its normality seems silly. By ages 25-29, eight of every nine women have performed fellatio, and half have done it in the past month. For men and cunnilingus, the numbers are only slightly lower. More people think the president is a Muslim than adhere to oral chastity.
3. Reciprocity. Women are getting as good as they're giving. By ages 25-29, 88 percent say they've received oral sex from a man, and 72 percent say they've received it in the last year. (Men confirm this: 86 percent say they've given it, 74 percent in the last year.) That's pretty close to the 91 percent of men aged 25-29 who say they've received oral sex from a woman, and the 77 percent who say they've received it in the past year.
4. Homosexuality. Apparently, a lot of people try gay sex, but only about half stick with it. By ages 18-19, 10 percent of men say they've performed fellatio. That number drops among men in their 20s and 30s. But among men in their 40s and 50s, 13 percent say they've done it, and 14 to 15 percent say they've received it from another man. Meanwhile, 11 percent of men aged 20-24 say they've received anal sex. For unknown reasons, that number declines in the next age bracket up but then steadily rises in succeeding brackets, leveling off at 9 percent among men in their 40s and 50s.
Remember, these are "have you ever" questions. When men aged 20 to 59 are asked whether they've performed fellatio in the past year, the number is more like 6 percent. And only 4 percent say they've received anal sex in that time. But that's a big jump from 1992, when only 2 percent of men admitted to sex with a man in the preceding year.
For women, the gap between trying gay sex and sticking with it is greater. From ages 20 to 49, the number who say they've performed cunnilingus ranges from 10 to 14 percent, but the number who say they've done it in the last year is more like a quarter of that.
5. Anal sex. Here's the big story. In 1992, 16 percent of women aged 18-24 said they'd tried anal sex. Now 20 percent of women aged 18-19 say they've done it, and by ages 20-24, the number is 40 percent. In 1992, the highest percentage of women in any age group who admitted to anal sex was 33. In 2002, it was 35. Now it's 46.
The last time I looked at the anal sex data, I figured that most women who reported having done it meant they'd tried it just once. I was wrong. If you push these women beyond the "have you ever" question, the numbers stay surprisingly high, and they're getting higher. In 1992, the percentage of women in their 20s and 30s who said they'd had anal sex in the past year was around 10 percent. Now that number has doubled to more than 20 percent, and one-third of these women say they've done it in the last month. Among all women surveyed, the number who reported anal sex in their most recent sexual encounter was 3 to 4 percent.
That's a lot of butt sex. And remember, this is what women are reporting. If anything, they're probably understating the truth.
So what's with all the buggery? Is it brutality? Coercion? A porn-inspired male fantasy at women's expense?
Apparently not. Check out the orgasm data. Among women who had vaginal sex in their last encounter, the percentage who said they reached orgasm was 65. Among those who received oral sex, it was 81. But among those who had anal sex, it was 94. Anal sex outscored cunnilingus.
No way, you say.
Way...
What could explain this? Taboo thrill? Clitoral migration? Some new kind of vegetable oil?
Here's my guess. Look carefully at (the data.) Only 6 percent of women who had anal sex in their last encounter did so in isolation. Eighty-six percent also had vaginal sex. Seventy-two percent also received oral sex. Thirty-one percent also had partnered masturbation. And the more sex acts a woman engaged in during the encounter, the more likely she was to report orgasm. These other activities are what gave the women their orgasms. The anal sex just came along for the ride.
So why did the inclusion of anal sex bump the orgasm figure up to 94 percent? It didn't. The causality runs the other way. Women who were getting what they wanted were more likely to indulge their partners' wishes. It wasn't the anal sex that caused the orgasms. It was the orgasms that caused the anal sex.
If anal sex is a trailing indicator of women's sexual satisfaction, then by all means, let's toast the new findings. Here's to you, Ladies. Bottoms up."
— The Curator
The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services' Advisory Committee on Blood Safety and Availability has decided to retain the policy that bans blood donation by any man who has had sex with a man at any time, even once, since 1977.
Incongruously, current policy allows people who have unsafe heterosexual sex with someone who has AIDS to donate blood after a one-year waiting period.
In a 9-6 vote, which took place last week, the committee cited a lack of research to support the notion that lifting the ban would not contaminate the blood supply.
Current HIV testing technology can identify a new infection with the virus within about 10 days of transmission.
The committee acknowledged that current policy permits "some potentially high-risk donations while preventing some potentially low-risk donations."
It called this state of affairs "suboptimal" and suggested more research into the matter."
This decision is outrageous, irresponsible and archaic," said Rea Carey, executive director of the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force. "We expect more out of this advisory committee and this administration than to uphold an unnecessarily discriminatory policy from another era."
She said all donors should be "screened appropriately and assessed based on actual behavioral risk independent of their sexual orientation."
The American Red Cross, the nation’s largest blood supplier, agrees.
"The American Red Cross is disappointed with the decision made by the (committee) not to recommend a change to the FDA policy of a lifetime deferral for men who have sex with other men," the organization said. "While the Red Cross is obligated by law to follow the guidelines set forth by the FDA, we also strongly support the use of rational, scientifically based deferral periods that are applied fairly and consistently among donors who engage in similar risk activities."
Though the committee voted to recommend against changing the current policy, the committee did recommend, among other actions, that quarantine release errors should be investigated. Depending on the results of such an investigation, this could lead to a future recommendation to reduce or eliminate the “deferral” of gay men and other men who have sex with men desiring to donate blood. Not much improvement, but a bit of a start.
While the increase the blood supply could receive by lifting the indefinite deferral was noted as “modest at best,” Dr. Frederick Axelrod, CEO of LifeStream, noted that there are other concerns with not changing the current policy at all.
Referring to college campuses and others canceling blood drives to express sympathy for and solidarity with the gay community, Axelrod said, “these issues...are coming up more frequently and the vocal nature of it is getting louder and louder.” Axelrod warned that if the policy is not changed “there could be an increased voice that’s going to push harder as it relates to this and then it’s going to affect the amount of blood that we can collect and then it’ll affect patients in a different way — not with an infectious disease, but not having enough blood and going back to shortages.”
Peter Sprigg of the Family Research Council, an anti-gay organization that has been accused of lobbying Congress in opposition of a resolution that would denounce Uganda’s “kill the gays” bill, spoke at the meeting in favor of maintaining the current policy. Despite his organization’s anti-gay stance, his statements to the committee were carefully crafted to contain no blatantly homophobic language. Also speaking at the meeting were Nathan Schaefer and Sean Cahill of Gay Men’s Health Crisis, as well as several HIV/AIDS organizations.
Schaefer made clear that his organization does not “necessarily think that anyone opposed to changing the current policy is motivated by homophobia,” but the possibility of homophobia represented in the policy is certainly present. Describing disparities in treatment, Schaefer gave the example that though any man who has had sex with another man since 1977 can never give blood, a man who has had sex with a known HIV+ woman more than 365 days ago can give blood.
HHS apparently kept no record of how members voted on the issue. A recording of the meeting is available on the department’s website, but due to low video quality and a camera shot that doesn’t include all members, not all votes are known. One vote in support of the current policy was cast by Anne Marie Finley, Vice President of Government Relations at Celgene Corporation, one of the world’s largest pharmaceutical corporations.
Back in the 80's when we didn't know much about HIV/AIDS and the homosexual community was largely ignored and/or widely discriminated against, HIV/AIDS was seen as the "Gay Disease." This was because, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, at that time most AIDS cases occurred among whites homosexual males. Soon thereafter AIDS began spreading through intravenous drug use as well as other transmission methods and that's when cases starting being identified in heterosexuals as well. Once the HIV/AIDS issue became an epidemic, the federal government got involved, "to protect the people."
In 1983 the Food and Drug Administration implemented rules against men who have had sex – even once – with another man since 1977, stating that they are forbidden from donating blood. The purpose of this rule was to prevent HIV, the virus that causes AIDS, from tainting the blood supply. Screening tests to identify HIV-positive blood had not been developed as of yet and so an all out ban seemed like an appropriate measure. Despite the fact that this is no longer the case as there are plenty of tests that can detect the virus, the ban was nonetheless retained. Thus, in 2010, gay males who have sex with other gay males cannot give blood, even if they don't have HIV/AIDS.
Of note: There are no other minority groups banned from giving blood, regardless of whether or not said minority group has a high HIV/AIDS infection rate or not. For example, if you are a gay woman, you can apparently give all the blood you want. That is because lesbians are not seen as a high-risk group for contracting HIV/AIDS as opposed to sexually active gay males. Though hundreds of thousands of woman have HIV/AIDS due to drug use or other methods of transmissions, the CDC still doesn't consider them to be a "high-risk" group because they are not likely to transmit HIV/AIDS through sexual intercourse (although it is possible).
Another example of this glaring hypocrisy is that despite gay males being labeled as a high risk group, according to the Center For Disease Control as of 2008, African American men and women were estimated to have an incidence rate that was 7 times as high as the incidence rate among white people...and yet there is no ban against black people giving blood.
In addition, various studies also show that heterosexual intercourse is the fastest-growing mode of HIV transmission in North America and the dominant mode of HIV transmission worldwide. It has been reported that HIV is rapidly showing up in heterosexual communities throughout North America. However, there is no ban on heterosexuals giving blood. It seems that the precautions taken against receiving tainted blood from sexually active homosexuals is not considered necessary for sexually active heterosexuals.
There is also a glaringly obvious problem here. For one, any person, gay or otherwise does not have to tell the truth about any of the above. All one has to say to give blood is, "I'm straight, monogamous and last time I checked, STD free." Then they take your blood and test it, just like everyone else. The dirty little secret in all of this is that homosexual men do give blood, when they choose to lie.
Sadly, it appears that the FDA is discriminating against a particular group of people based on their sexuality, rather than establishing real precautions to ensure that the country’s blood reserve is safe.
— The Curator
This is a vitally important topic, so no cute lead on this one: Kids need to know about sex from their parents before they have sex – duh!
Well, a recent study finds that parents are not talking soon enough, partly because kids are having sexual encounters at a younger age than in prior generations, and also because parents are in denial.
As a result, the birds-and-the-bees conversation occurs after, and not before, kids start experimenting sexually, possibly in risky ways, according to a study in the January issue of Pediatrics. In the study, researchers found “The Talk” about safe sex, birth control or sexually transmitted diseases often occurs after many adolescents are already having actual intercourse.
This revelation comes despite American Academy of Pediatrics recommendations that health-care providers and parents talk to their kids about sex and sexuality early in life.
"Parents are a little behind the 8-ball. They underestimate their children's sexual knowledge and interest and behaviors," said Dr. Lawrence Friedman, director of adolescent medicine at the University of Miami Miller School of Medicine.
"It's a hard subject for many parents to broach, but the level of sexual activity in many kids has moved up in terms of initiation. It's younger," added Alan Hilfer, director of psychology at Maimonides Medical Center in New York City. "Talking about it is very helpful in terms of disease prevention, unwanted pregnancy and even issues around relationships."
According to experts, this is a troublesome trend, as teens who have had a sex talk with their parents are more likely to delay their first sexual encounter, and to practice safe sex when they do become sexually active.
Although there were long-term suspicions that parents lagged behind their kids, previous studies had asked adults to remember when they first had sex and when their parents talked to them, said study author Megan Beckett, a social scientist with the Rand Corp. in Santa Monica, Calif.
For this study, Beckett and her colleagues surveyed 141 middle-class and upper middle-class parents and their children, aged 13 to 17, in more of a real-time scenario. "We went back about four times over a year's period," Beckett said.
The study involved the families enrolling in the Talking Parents, Healthy Teens program, and should serve as a wake-up call for parents. The parents and children responded to a questionnaire covering 24-issues regarding sex and sexuality, including how pregnancy occurred, body changes during puberty, condom and birth control applications, as well as sexual identity and homosexuality.
Separately, parents and children were asked the first time they discussed each topic, which was then compared with the teens’ self-reports about engaging in three specific categories of sexual behavior i.e. hand-holding or kissing; genital touching or oral sex; and intercourse.
By study-end, over half the parents reported 14 of the 24-sex-related topics had not been discussed, by which time their adolescents had already begun genital touching or oral sex with partners.
Starting with questions about girls bodies and menstruation, the research team asked parents and children about kissing and handholding, birth control, refusing sex, oral sex and intercourse, all related to different developmental stages of the kids.
More than half of children had experienced genital touching before "The Talk" about birth control, sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) and condom use, the researchers found.
"More than 40 percent of adolescents are having intercourse before parents have talked to them about STD symptoms, condom use, choosing birth control and what to do if your partner refuses to use a condom," Beckett said. "That's a pretty large number."
Forty-two percent of girls said they had not discussed the effectiveness of birth control, while 40 percent had not talked it over with their parents on how to refuse sex before engaging in genital touching.
Nearly 70 percent of boys had not discussed condom use or other birth-control methods before having intercourse, with only half their parents saying they had not discussed the issues. About two-thirds of boys said they had not talked with a parent about how to use a condom before having intercourse. And conversations with boys almost always took place later than talks with girls.
"This is a flag to not put it off, and this is especially the case with boys," Beckett said.
Denial, naivety and any number of other emotions on the part of the parents may be playing into this trend, Friedman said.
"They reminisce that when they were in the seventh grade, they didn't do that kind of thing," he said.
"The fact of the matter is that this is 25 years later, and this is what is going on. You have to be knowledgeable and prepared to prepare children for when they become teenagers and have to confront sexual kinds of activities."
Other experts agree. "We live in an R-rated society, and our kids need our PG guidance," said Dr. Frank Biro, head of adolescent medicine at Cincinnati Children's Hospital. "If you want to instill knowledge and values, then you need to be talking to your kids earlier, not later."
Here are some tips on when and how to talk to your kids:
— Figure that the age you think is appropriate is probably too old. "If parents think that they should broach the topic at X age, they should subtract two years and do it at that age instead," Friedman said.
— Talk to your physician and scour resources from the Internet, libraries and schools about how to broach the subject and what to say.
— Take the lead. "Don't expect your child to come and ask an important question about a topic that they're embarrassed about or that they don't know their parents would be willing to talk to them about," Friedman said. "This will also help gauge how knowledgeable their teenager or child is."
— After you've talked, "step back and ask your kids questions and pay attention to what they're interested in," Hilfer said.
— Make sure your conversation is developmentally appropriate to the child, Biro said. Talking about fellatio with a 6-year-old is probably not appropriate. Talking about boys liking girls and handholding would be for kids 8 or 9 years or possibly even 6 years old. "If you haven't talked to your kids by the time they're 12, you need to get on the stick," said Hilfer.
— Make sure that kids understand the risks of even casual experimentation. AIDS, STD’s and unwanted pregnancies can happen even if the kids do not have full-on intercourse.
— Make sure kids know how to say "no," that it's OK to refuse any sexual suggestion, and that they are not uncool to do so.
— Swallow your unease. Your embarrassment is nothing compared to your kid getting pregnant or AIDS!
— Be senstive to your kids about feelings of shame. Make sure they understand that sexual feelings are normal and natural, and that you still have them.
— Make sure that kids know they can count on you if they get into ANY kind of trouble, without judgment or getting a lecture.
— LISTEN TO YOUR KIDS! Pretty basic, but may be the most important tips that adults can ignore. They understand they need to talk, but the listening — not so much.
In addition, it is important for all parents to know the correct terms and the anatomy of both genders. It is unbelievable, but it has been my experience that many adults have the same knowledge about sex as adolescents – they have not updated their own information in decades! Only give your kids correct information!
I also believe that no discussion about sex can omit a conversation about masturbation. Sexual impulses are natural, and masturbation is a safe-sex way to release those feelings in private, and for teens to learn about, and accept, their bodies.
Discussion about sexual identity has to be part of any conversation with kids. Believe me, kids will hear about homosexuality from other kids, and often that information is ugly and destructive. If children have begun to believe they are not heterosexual, the feelings of shame begin very, very early. Parents have to be conscious of what their kids are feeling, and observant, even if what you see is not something you may approve of, or want for them.
Unconditional love begins when parents embrace their children for who they are, including the sexuality, and realize that a lot of the rules have changed. Arm your kids with information on how to keep safe, as well as explaining the emotions that occur with even casual sexual contact.
Unwanted pregnancies, AIDS and other STD’s are not the only sexual minefields all kids have to cross. Peer pressure, even rape; poor body image; sexual identity; and even broken hearts are just some of the others. Whew! I am often glad that I do not have young children in this day and age.
— The Curator
An Indiana University study of almost 2,500 women released today found that lubricant use during sexual activity alone, or with a partner, contributed to pleasurable and more satisfying sex.
All of the volunteer women in the study used one of six different water- or silicone-based lubricants. The study found participants strongly believed that lubricant use improved the overall sexual experience. In more than 70 percent of sexual encounters, the women indicated using lubricants made sex feel very pleasurable, and more comfortable.
Personal lubricants have long been recommended to women to improve the comfort of sexual intercourse and to reduce the risk of vaginal tearing, yet strikingly little available data is available on women's use of lubricants or associated vaginal symptoms.
The study, presented today during an APHA conference, involved 2,453 women ages 18 to 68 and was conducted by Debby Herbenick, associate director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at IU's School of Health, Physical Education and Recreation.
The study also found that side effects were rarely associated with lubricant use; vaginal tearing occurred during less than 1 percent of vaginal intercourse events, and genital pain was reported in less than 5 percent of intercourse acts when lubricant was used.
Researchers also noted that when applying lubricant, 58.4 percent of sexual activity involved application to the woman's genitals by their sexual partner, 54.7 percent involved women applying lubricant to their own or their partner's fingers, and 53.4 percent involved women applying lubricant directly on their partner's genitals.
Most frequently reported reasons for lubricant use included the desire to reduce the risk of tearing (22 percent), and to make sex more comfortable (21.8 percent).
Eighty-five percent of the women in the study were heterosexual, and 56 percent were married, with an average age of 32.
The research was supported by The Patty Brisben Foundation. The findings were presented during the "Women and HIV: Emerging Issues" seminar, entitled, "What's Sex Got To Do With It?" at the APHA conference. Co-authors are Devon J. Hensel , IU School of Medicine; Kristen Jozkowski, Center for Sexual Health Promotion; Michael Reece, CSHP; and J. Dennis Fortenberry, IU School of Medicine.
Another CSHP study presented today at the conference involved 1,834 men and examined their use of lubricants during vaginal intercourse. The study involved 8,876 coital encounters, 46.8 percent involving the use of a latex condom, and 24.7 percent involving the use of a lubricant.
Interestingly, the study found that the addition of lubricant to condoms was more likely during intercourse with a spouse than with a non-committed partner, during intercourse of longer duration, when a female partner applied the condom to the partner's penis, and when a female partner used Nuva Ring, IUD or spermicidal jelly/foam as a method of contraception.
Additional results found that most frequently, lubricant was added to the external tip of the condom after penile application (22.5 percent), directly in or around the partner's vagina (16.2 percent), and to both the condom and vagina (16.2 percent).
Sex – can’t live with it, can’t live without it.
In America, we do an amazing amount of talking and writing about sex, but in odd, off-point ways. Sometimes we talk very clinically, you know what I mean: Insert Part A into Slot A, and agitate; or Insert Part A into Slot C, and agitate; or a variation on the theme, depending on your sexual orientation, or personal sexual preferences.
Or, we talk in terms of romantic, virginal blushes, you know what I mean: I ache for him, to penetrate me completely with his throbbing member; or I long for his manhood but in a secret place; or a variation on the theme, depending upon your sexual orientation, or personal preferences.
Or, we talk in terms of submission, domination, you know what I mean: There was only one way to tame the wild vixen, by taking her roughly; or she will learn what happens when she refuses me; or a variation on the theme, depending upon your sexual orientation, or personal preferences.
Or, we talk in terms of classic smut, you know what I mean: I’m slamming my rod into her warm, wet pussy; or I’m slamming my cock into her waiting shiny, lubricated ass; or a variation on the theme, depending upon your sexual orientation, or personal preferences.
Or, we talk in terms of betrayal, you know what I mean: I have just been with my mistress, but I will still pound my wife; or my lover makes me want to take my girlfriend in the ass; or a variation on the theme, depending on your sexual orientation, or personal preferences.
Or, we talk in terms of love and loss, you know what I mean: It was so poignant, that moment, I didn’t want to climax, because it would be over, truly over; or my life force was draining out of my body, even as I filled every part of her with my seed; or a variation on the theme, depending upon your sexual orientation, or personal preferences.
How does any of the above help us understand genuine sex, sensuality and sexuality? Read my lips, honey -- NOT ONE DAMN BIT! Knowing the traditional mechanics of intercourse-in-the-missionary position hardly qualifies as a sexual epiphany. It is well past time that we move beyond prepubescent groping and trial-and-error experimentation, and enter the realm of grown-up sex.
I warn you now, there is a learning curve, or, to be more precise, an un-learning curve to reach this goal. But, the returns are incalculable, and they pay huge dividends.
Every adult needs sex. It’s called a drive for a reason: It’s as fundamental to maintaining optimal health as is taking in air, water and food. It is such a strong drive, that scientists have found that when a person stops having sex, their physical and emotional health steadily deteriorates.
There have been a lot of theories about this, but the one that rings true to me is that without a strong sex drive, all species would literally cease to exist. Since procreation is fundamental to survival, nature seduced us into performing “the act” by developing a brilliant one-two punch: a tremendous drive to mate, coupled with the intoxicating elixir of physical and emotional pleasure when we do. Bravo!
Okay, so now what?
Well, we are not mindless slugs. We should pay as much attention to our sexual health and well being, as we give to our physical and mental health. In fact, I strongly believe that these aspects are beautifully, intricately connected, woven magically into who we each are: A whole and complete sacred human being. To think of ourselves instead as fragmented or abstracted parts, is not only harmful and disrespectful to ourselves, but also sends a very strong, and very wrong message to our children.
To be continued...
