skip to main |
skip to sidebar
Today in America we are celebrating our national Independence Day, but I believe it is also the perfect time to reflect on our personal independence, and perhaps to even declare our sexual orientations if we have not already done so.
Last week on Twitter, I suggested that members of the LGBT communities in the U.S. who are still closeted consider coming out today. I make the suggestion only if they feel safe and secure to do so. I’m a bisexual woman who came out in fits and starts over the course of many years.
I told my family and close friends as soon as I understood my orientation. That was almost 30 years ago when coming out was still fairly rare. To say that it was stressful is to understate the experience: I have never done anything that filled me with more horror and dread.
And guess what? It was worse than I imagined. My mother disowned me and actually damned me to hell. We never fully reconciled, and she died still believing that I was an abomination in the eyes of God and man.
My father, to his ever-lasting credit, worked to understand and accept who I am without judgment. It wasn’t always easy, but we remain very close and love each other without reservation.
I told very few people in my work life, and wasn’t fully “out” until I left my employment all together several years ago because of worsening lupus. Honestly, I just didn’t have the guts to be out at work back then, and I still regret that I wasn’t able to do so.
I present my personal history so that readers will understand that I don’t make the suggestion to come out lightly. What I do know is that unless I allow myself to live authentically, to be free to live as I desire, I will never truly be happy and prosper.
And that concept is exactly what the Fourth of July is all about.
The preamble to the U.S. Declaration of Independence says it all: “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it...”
The Founding Fathers called equality “self-evident” when the document was drafted in 1776, but we still haven’t achieved that lofty goal. They were white males, many slave owners, who penned arguably the greatest Constitution ever written. Since then, African-Americans were freed. They were given the right to vote, and women eventually followed in being granted the opportunity for their voices to heard in the selection of those who govern them.
Nonetheless, bigotry and hatred remains. People of color, different religions, women, or those of us with different sexual orientations are all too often still victimized. In addition, the country is grappling with whether to allow same-sex couples to marry.
I believe that being able to marry if you are in a same-sex relationship is an “unalienable right,” as defined by the Constitution.
Just what does that term mean? Black's Law Dictionary, Sixth Edition, clarifies the term: “You can not surrender, sell or transfer unalienable rights, they are a gift from the creator to the individual and can not under any circumstances be surrendered or taken. All individual's have unalienable rights.”
Thus, if you are an American, regardless of your ethnicity, faith or lack of faith, gender, age, or sexual orientation, you have the legal right to your life; to be free; and to live your life in the way that gives you the most happiness.
Even if you are not a member of the LGBT community, there may be some other aspect of your life that you might want to declare today. I am a pagan, a follower of Wicca. Perhaps you are a pagan, too, or an atheist and you have been holding that within you as a secret.
Whatever is the truth of your life, every American has the right to live it to the fullest, safely and without shame. That is what today is all about.
— The Curator
In a narrow 33 to 29 vote late last night, New York’s Republican controlled Legislature legalized gay marriage — proving that love belongs to NO political party or even ideology.
As a bi-sexual woman living in New Jersey, I rejoice in this brave vote approving the legislation, which was quickly signed into law by Democratic Gov. Andrew Cuomo shortly before midnight.
The legislation was enacted almost 42 years to the day that the modern-day LGBT rights movement was born amid violent encounters between police and gay activists at New York City’s iconic Stonewall Inn, referred to as “The Stonewall.”
It takes effect in 30 days, and same-sex couples are already lining up to become the first to be married.
This landmark law makes New York the sixth and largest state in the country to legalize same-sex marriage. Sadly, it will no doubt be challenged in the courts, but let’s tackle that another day. For now, I want to let this glorious ruling seep into my very being.
As might be imagined, the news sparked massive celebrations in the streets of New York City, where members of the LGBT community from throughout the country had ironically been brought together for the city’s annual Gay Pride Weekend. [Note: The above photo was taken outside The Stonewall when the news broke.]
A note of clarification: I refer to the new statute as legalizing “same-sex” marriage, which is the wording of the actual law, rather than "gay marriage." As a bi-sexual, I am not gay but am living with my same-sex life partner.
It was deeply and profoundly emotional for me when I woke up to the incredible news. I know that it is the right vote, the human vote.
I was married to a man, and we divorced. When I met my same-sex partner, the love I felt, and still feel, for her is as genuine and sacred as the love I felt for my former husband. Rejection and hatred of me and my same-sex union, and millions of others nationwide, is a wound that is impossible to describe and will take a very long time to heal. This statute goes a long way in making that happen.
I did not choose to be bi-sexual, I simply am bi-sexual. It is not a lifestyle anymore than being heterosexual is a lifestyle. I am the exact same woman who was allowed to love and marry a man, but denied that same legal option to acknowledge my female partner.
I am also a spiritual person. I feel the guidance and daily presence of the Divine. I am not an aberration, but a soul who was created bi-sexual by that same loving and all-knowing Cosmic Other. Thus, I am as blessed as each and every person — every living being — on Mother Earth.
New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg called the vote, "a historic triumph for equality and freedom,” and I could not agree more.
Thank you, New York, for acknowledging me and thousands of others. Even though I live one state over, your action gives me hope, and makes my heart dance with indescribable joy!
I also fervently hope that this momentous step will be the action that prompts other undecided states to join this inevitable civil rights movement. In fact, a recent poll by a respected agency finds that 53 percent of Americans now support same-sex marriage. It is the time for all same-sex couples to be able to choose to sanctify their relationships legally no matter where they live.
— The Curator
Sometimes, news accounts about sexual orientation/gender issues infuriate me, and this one has done exactly that: A J.Crew advertisement depicts a mom painting her 5-year-old laughing son's toenails neon pink.
That's it. So what's the big deal, you ask? The 'what' is that a whole lot of homophobic folks — and a lot of so-called 'professionals' who should know a damn sight better — think this will "turn" the laughing boy in the photo into a laughing girl.
As expected, the Gender Police emerged from their dark caves in flocks and a national debate has ensued about the “correct” way to raise children, as well as the importance of so-called 'honoring' one’s biologically assigned gender — i.e., an opportunity to commit transgender bashing on an epic scale.
When will this type of nonsense EVER stop? Sexual orientation is biological, if it weren't then there would never be any gay men who play sports. Get it? Dress boys in boys clothes means that they will have to grow into heterosexual men, and dress little girls in frilly dresses and they will have to grow into heterosexual women, right? Wrong. As a card-carrying member of the LGBT Community, I can personally tell you that is absolute, insulting garbage. It is beyond RIDICULOUS!
Jeans don't make the gender, genes do!
Here's the ad info:
The J.Crew ad shows a top designer painting her young son’s toenails neon pink. The image appeared in a feature called "Saturday With Jenna," which was emailed to customers last week, and highlights a few of J.Crew president and creative director Jenna Lyons’ favorite products — including the hot pink Essie nail polish seen on her son, Beckett.
The caption below the picture reads, “Lucky for me I ended up with a boy whose favorite color is pink. Toenail painting is way more fun in neon.”
A psychiatrist talking head for Fox News, the ultra-conservative Dr. Keith Ablow, jumped on the ad to make headlines for himself and the atrocious network news program.
"Yeah, well, it may be fun and games now, Jenna, but at least put some money aside for psychotherapy for the kid—and maybe a little for others who’ll be affected by your “innocent” pleasure. This is a dramatic example of the way that our culture is being encouraged to abandon all trappings of gender identity,” proclaimed the judgmental Ablow, who wrote a FoxNews 'health column' about the ad.
Not satisfied, Ablow continues to denigrate the ad, as well as Ms. Lyon personally: "If you have no problem with the J. Crew ad, how about one in which a little boy models a sundress? What could possibly be the problem with that? Well, how about the fact that encouraging the choosing of gender identity, rather than suggesting our children become comfortable with the ones that they got at birth, can throw our species into real psychological turmoil—not to mention crowding operating rooms with procedures to grotesquely amputate body parts?...I wonder what Jenna would think if her son wanted to celebrate his masculinity with a little playacting as a cowboy, with a gun? Would that bring the same smile of joy and pure love that we see on her face in the J. Crew advertisement? Or would that be where she might draw the line?"
The arch conservative Media Research Center’s Erin Brown piled it on, calling the ad, “blatant propaganda celebrating transgendered children.”
“Not only is Beckett likely to change his favorite color as early as tomorrow, Jenna's indulgence (or encouragement) could make life hard for the boy in the future,” Brown wrote in an opinion piece. "J.CREW, known for its tasteful and modest clothing, apparently does not mind exploiting Beckett behind the facade of liberal, transgendered identity politics.”
A voice of sanity, Alice Dreger, professor of clinical medical humanities and bioethics at Northwestern University, said it is "ridiculous" to suggest that painting a little boy's toes pink or any other color might somehow influence his sexuality or sexual identity.
"Lots of boys love toenail polish; tons of boys do," Dreger said. "All kids like things that are sparkly and bright. And as far as I can tell, it doesn't lead to anything like the end of civilization."
I'll give it to them though, the conservatives got one thing right: THEIR type of thinking is dangerous, as it encourages bigotry and hatred of all gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgendered people.
Hmmm. I wonder, could it be that this ad underscores their own sexual orientation insecurity? Might these LGBT haters be more than a tad drawn to a little gender-bending behavior themselves?
— The Curator
A thorough and excellent analysis of hate crimes has shown that gays remain the most targeted minority group suffering these atrocious attacks.
The thought-provoking report, compiled and written by Mark Potok, appears in the SPLC Intelligence Report. The results were startling to me, considering the apparent improved societal stance regarding the LGBT community, including the resent lifting of the military's overtly discriminatory "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy, and some legalization of same-sex marriages.
Potok suggests, quite logically, that the deep seated anger barely held in check within some hard-core anti-gays has bubbled over into sudden violence partly because of these general improvements in LBGT rights.
The column appears below in its entirety, or read it directly at the website.
Gays Remain the Minority Most Targeted by Hate Crimes
By Mark Potok, SPLC Intelligence Report
Posted on Dec. 31, 2010, Printed on Jan. 4, 2011
The religious anti-gay right has been knocked back on its heels by gay rights advances. But its hardest core angrily presses on.
Four teenagers commit suicide in a three-week span after being bullied, taunted or outed as homosexuals. Seven students — at least four of whom had endured anti-gay bullying — kill themselves over the course of a year in a single Minnesota school district. In New York, 10 suspects are arrested for torturing three gay victims. In Covington, Ky., a series of violent anti-gay attacks shock a trendy neighborhood. In Vonore, Tenn., a lesbian couple’s home, its garage spray-painted with “Queers,” is burned to the ground. A rash of attacks hits Washington, D.C. And in Michigan, a prosecutor harasses a local gay rights student leader for months.
All of this is only a sampling of the anti-gay attacks occurring around the nation, most of it drawn from just the last few months. Although the rash of student suicides drew major media attention for a few days, the reality, gay rights advocates say, is that the LGBT world has been plagued by hate violence for years.
But that’s not the way a hard core of the anti-gay religious right sees it.
Responding to the wave of teen suicides — including, most dramatically, that of 18-year-old Tyler Clementi, a Rutgers University student who leaped off the George Washington Bridge in New York City in September — anti-gay leaders instead blamed those who sought to protect students from bullying.
Bryan Fischer of the American Family Association said gay rights activists “pressure these students to declare a disordered sexual preference when they’re too young to know better, [so] they share some culpability.” Family Research Council President Tony Perkins, a key critic of anti-bullying programs, said gay activists were “exploiting these tragedies to push their agenda.” He said that gay kids may know “intuitively” that their desires are “abnormal” and that the claim, pushed by gay activists, that they can’t change “may create a sense of despair that can lead to suicide.” Matt Barber of Liberty Counsel said those activists want “to use the tragedies to increase pressure on the real victims: Christians.”
In fact, the chief target of these anti-gay ideologues — the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN) — has been working to get protection from school bullying for a wide range of racial, religious and sexual minorities, not only LGBT students. It’s extremely hard to see how their efforts are exploitative, or how the “real” victims of bullying are Christians. GLSEN’s mission statement says that it “strives to assure that each member of every school community is valued.”
What’s more, bullying is only the beginning of the violence experienced by gays in American society. The reality is that homosexuals or perceived homosexuals are by far the group most targeted in America for violent hate crimes, according to an Intelligence Report analysis of 14 years of federal hate crime data. The bottom line: Gay people are more than twice as likely to be attacked in a violent hate crime as Jews or blacks; more than four times as likely as Muslims; and 14 times as likely as Latinos.
A Changing Landscape
Remarkably, most Americans today seem to have a sense of the violence that the LGBT community is regularly subjected to, or in any event are increasingly rejecting extreme religious-right narratives about the alleged evils of homosexuality. An October poll by the nonpartisan Public Religion Research Institute found that 65% of Americans believe “places of worship contribute to higher rates of suicide among gay and lesbian youth” (33% said “a lot” and 32% said “a little”). Seventy-two percent said places of worship “contribute to negative views of gay and lesbian people” (40% said “a lot” and 32% said “a little”). (At the same time, the survey found that 44% of Americans still view same-sex relations as a sin.)
This was not always so. In 2003, the legalization of same-sex marriage in most of Canada, plus the U.S. Supreme Court’s striking down of anti-gay sodomy laws in 13 states and a court decision in Massachusetts against gay marriage bans, produced a major backlash. By 2008, fueled by the anti-gay rhetoric and political organizing of religious-right groups, at least 40 states and the federal government had adopted constitutional bans or laws against same-sex marriages.
Since then, the record has been mixed. But it’s clear that public support for same-sex marriage — and opposition to its religious opponents — is on the rise.
Five states now allow same-sex marriage, and another three recognize such unions from other states. California allowed them for some months in 2008, but the Proposition 8 referendum ended that — until a federal judge this fall overturned the proposition, saying it discriminated unconstitutionally against homosexuals. A 2006 federal bill that would have prohibited states from recognizing same-sex marriage failed. By this August, according to a Roper poll, a majority of Americans supported same-sex marriage for the first time. The poll found that 52% said the federal government should recognize such marriages (up from 46% in 2009), and 58% said same-sex couples should be entitled to the same benefits as other couples.
An earlier Gallup poll, released in May 2010, had similar results. It found that Americans now see gay relationships as “morally acceptable” by a 52% to 43% margin — compared to a 55% to 38% unfavorable view just eight years earlier. Every demographic group within the data set grew more accepting — Catholics, for instance, polled as 62% favorable, compared to 46% four years ago.
This fall’s mid-term elections were the first since the 1990s with no measures to ban gay marriage on any state ballot, according to The Associated Press. And although same-sex marriage was an issue at press time in four gubernatorial races, the AP reported, Democratic candidates in Rhode Island and California were vying to become the fourth and fifth openly gay members of Congress.
“We’ve reached a tipping point this year,” said Wayne Besen, founder of TruthWinsOut.com, which monitors the anti-gay right. “The religious right is losing some of its steam. We’re going to win this issue quicker than people think.”
It may not be only gay rights advocates who think so. Last February, after founder James Dobson retired and pastor Jim Daly took over, Focus on the Family — for years, the powerhouse organization of the anti-gay religious right — markedly softened its anti-gay rhetoric. Daly began meeting with gay rights activists, ended the ministry’s controversial “reparative therapy” for gays and lesbians, and even suggested that legalized same-sex marriage might not be a disaster.
“I will continue to defend traditional marriage, but I’m not going to demean human beings for the process,” Daly told an interviewer. “I want to express respect for everyone, all human beings. It’s not about being highly confrontational.”
Digging In
It is in just such situations — when long-held societal notions about blacks, Latinos, Catholics, homosexuals or other minorities are shifting — that violent backlashes often set in. As groups like Focus on the Family have moderated their positions on homosexuality, a hard core of anti-gay groups, sensing they are being politically marginalized, seem to be growing angrier and more radical still.
The reaction of Laurie Higgins of the Illinois Family Institute, may be illustrative. Upon hearing of Daly’s moves, she said the Focus on the Family leader was showing “surprising naïveté,” adding that he instead “better figure out how to stop the pro-homosexual juggernaut.” As to his comments about refusing to “demean human beings,” Higgins said, “The language employed by Mr. Daly here is the kind of language commonly employed by … homosexualists.”
“True conservatives,” Higgins added tartly elsewhere, “need to rethink their cowardly refusal to address the inherent immorality of homosexual practice and their deeply flawed strategy of calling for a moratorium on ‘social issues.’”
A leading criminologist and sociologist of hate crimes, Jack Levin of Northeastern University, sees evidence of the growing radicalization of the fringe in other ways. He says perpetrators of anti-gay hate crimes appear to be getting older. No longer are they dominated by teens engaging in thrill-seeking with predatory gangs of their peers. More and more, he says, lone adults are committing what Levin calls “defensive hate crimes” — crimes carried out in reaction to sweeping social changes that they see as threats to their home, family, religion, culture or country.
The shrinking size of the most virulent parts of the anti-gay religious right was much in evidence at the August “Truth Academy” staged outside Chicago by Peter LaBarbera and his Americans for Truth About Homosexuality. The three-day gathering immediately followed what to many anti-gay activists was a kind of nuclear disaster — the overturning by a federal appeals court judge of Proposition 8, which had temporarily ended gay marriage in California.
And what better motivator than a “homosexual judge” canceling out some 7 million votes against same-sex marriage? But that turned out not to be the case. Subtracting speakers, family members, volunteers and at least four interlopers who attended only to monitor events, the tally of those who paid to hear LaBarbera and the others speak during the first day was almost certainly fewer than 15.
Nevertheless, for many hard-liners, fighting homosexuality is a biblical imperative. They regard being forced to accept uncloseted gays as tantamount to being persecuted as Christians. If same-sex marriage becomes universally legal, the Family Research Council’s Perkins told the “Call to Conscience” rally held in Washington, D.C., on Sept. 4, “In one generation, we will have gone from banning the Bible in public schools to banning religious beliefs in society.”
As a result, the hard core of the anti-gay religious right is digging in. They have gravitated toward three particular tactics: “love the sinner” rhetoric; secular validation; and depicting gays as a global threat.
The Hard-Liners’ New Lines
Not long ago, anti-gay propaganda was remarkable for its vulgar and wild-eyed tone — depicting homosexuals as immoral, feces-eating, disease-ridden pedophiles. And some of that tone, particularly the idea that gays seek to “recruit” children in school, remains in certain quarters. But that kind of approach doesn’t resonate much with younger audiences, who grew up with positive images of openly gay actors, musicians, artists, politicians and business leaders. As gays came out of the closet, others increasingly found they had gay friends and relatives.
Now, more and more groups on the religious right are framing their arguments with words that are meant to show respect for gays and lesbians. There is no better example of that than the Manhattan Declaration, drafted in 2009 by Watergate conspirator-turned-evangelist Charles Colson, Princeton University professor Robert P. George and Beeson Divinity School Dean Rev. Timothy George.
The declaration framed opposition to same-sex marriage as part of seeking an end to the “glamorizing” of promiscuity and infidelity generally. It emphasized that “our rejection of sin, though resolute, must never become the rejection of sinners.” It conceded that “there are sincere people who disagree with us … on questions of sexual morality and the nature of marriage.” “And so,” it concluded, “it is out of love (not ‘animus’) and prudent concern for the common good (not ‘prejudice’), that we pledge to labor ceaselessly to preserve the legal definition of marriage.”
That kinder, gentler language drew the support of many, but not as many as the religious right was used to getting. After setting a goal of obtaining 1 million signatures within 10 days of its Nov. 20, 2009, release, organizers said this Aug. 3 — almost nine months later — that they had amassed 463,000 signatures.
Another emphasis has been in seeking secular validation for anti-gay arguments — scientific evidence of the alleged pitfalls of homosexuality. Many on the religious anti-gay right now frame their arguments almost entirely around the idea that homosexuals present various dangers to children, that they will live short and unhappy lives, that they are more vulnerable to disease, and so on.
The clearest statement of this may have come in late 2008 from Paul Cameron of the Family Research Institute: “We can no longer rely — as almost all pro-family organizations do today — on gleaning scientific ‘bits’ from those in liberal academia… . [W]e must subvert the academy by doing original, honest research ourselves and use this to advance the historic Christian faith.”
There’s just one trouble with this approach. Almost all the “facts” trotted out by the religious right about gays turn out to be false or misleading. And no one does more to create these myths than Cameron, whose work has been repudiated by three scholarly associations. (Others who are commonly cited as “researchers” by the anti-gay right include Joe Dallas, John R. Diggs, Joseph Nicolosi and the late Charles Socarides.) In addition, many scholars who do serious work in the area of sexuality say their work is misused by anti-gay groups. In fact, at least 11 legitimate scientists have recorded video statements saying their work was being mischaracterized by the religious right.
Related to this effort has been the creation of “ex-gay” therapies — programs run by the religious right that claim, against the weight of scientific evidence, to be able to turn homosexuals into heterosexuals. The problem is that so few people seem to have made the change — and so many who supposedly did later repudiated it.
A final new emphasis being used by many of the hard-core anti-gay groups is the charge that homosexuals make up, in effect, an active conspiracy whose agenda includes the destruction of Christianity and, ultimately, Western civilization. Sometimes, their propaganda sounds noticeably like Nazi descriptions of Jewish plots.
In a Feb. 6 column headlined “The bitter fruit of decriminalizing homosexual behavior,” for example, the American Family Association’s Bryan Fischer paraphrased another writer, agreeing that decriminalizing homosexuality had left society facing “a powerful, vicious, and punitive homosexual cabal that is determined to overthrow completely what remains of Judeo-Christian standards of sexual morality in the West.” Fischer adds that, “as [the writer] points out,” gays have received “special protections … which come at the expense of religious liberty, freedom of conscience, freedom of speech and freedom of association and lead to the punishment, intimidation and harassment of any who oppose their agenda.”
For his part, reflecting on “the rise of gay power in the culture,” Americans for Truth About Homosexuality’s LaBarbera sounded a similar theme during a radio broadcast last summer, saying, “The homosexual activist movement has very strategically insinuated itself into every sphere of power in our society.”
And at the Chicago-area Truth Academy, Robert Knight of Coral Ridge Ministries cited a 2008 Time magazine article that he said “makes the case that the Democratic Party is a fully owned subsidiary of a group of homosexual billionaires.” (In fact, the article discussed a group of wealthy gay men and their effect on pro-gay politics.) Knight then went a few steps further, saying that homosexuals in the nation’s capital have “blackmail power.”
How is that? So many gays work in the hospitality industry, Knight claimed, that “they see congressmen dallying with their secretaries. They see them with their mistresses, and they let them know if they step out of line on the gay issue, it just might find its way into the wrong hands.” He offered no evidence.
“The gay Mafia in Washington,” he concluded. “It’s very real.”
Facing the Future
In the end, many legal observers have suggested, same-sex marriage — or “marriage equality,” in the words of its backers — may well be legalized across the United States, whether through the actions of the courts or the legislatures. But that doesn’t mean that the hard core of religious resistance is about to disappear.
Frederick Clarkson, an independent journalist who has written about the American religious right for a quarter of a century, notes that the social conflicts set off by Roe v. Wade and Brown v. Board of Education continued for decades after the Supreme Court ruled. Moderating public attitudes toward homosexuality, he says, are viewed by the religious right as “symptoms of a society that has fallen away from God’s laws, seriously enough that God is ready to smack the country down.”
After all, to the hard core of that anti-gay religious right, Clarkson says, “homosexuality is a profound capital offense against God’s order.”
The upshot, in all likelihood, is that violence, hatred and bullying of those perceived as homosexual will continue into the foreseeable future. Although leaders of the hard core of the religious right deny it, it seems clear that their demonizing propaganda plays a role in fomenting that violence — a proposition that has sparked a number of Christian leaders to speak out in the wake of the latest series of tragedies.
“The recent epidemic of bullying-related teen suicides is a wake-up call to us moderate Christians,” the Rev. Fritz Ritsch, pastor of St. Stephen Presbyterian Church, wrote in October in the Fort Worth, Texas, Star-Telegram. “To most unchurched Americans — meaning most Americans — the fruit of the church is bitter indeed. … [T]he bullying crisis has put a fine point on the need for moderates to challenge the theological bullies from our own bully pulpits. We cannot equivocate. Children are dying. We need to speak up. If not now, when?”
[Note: Mark Potok is the editor of the Southern Poverty Law Center's Intelligence Report.]
— The Curator
Gay men and women will soon be able to serve openly in the military for the first time in our nation's history, rather than hiding their sexuality or being forced to lie about it.
There are thousands upon thousands of blog posts across the globe about the repeal of the military's bigoted "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy against gays, so I hesitated adding my small voice to that growing cacophony.
What can I say, that hasn't been said? Then it dawned on me: I'm bisexual, so I HAVE to add my small voice.
Before becoming disabled, I worked in law enforcement, within an agency that mimicked many military practices. In fact, a huge percentage of my co-workers were retired police, military or reservists. After 9-11, a large number of them were re-activated or volunteered and were sent immediately to Iran and into combat.
I knew that many of those men and women were also members of the Lesbian-Gay-Tri-Gender community. They responded to the country's call to arms without hesitation, putting their civilian lives on hold indefinitely. They kissed their families and significant others good-bye, and donned their helmets, fatigues and loaded their automatic rifles.
As most know, the military code of conduct requires that each member practice and respect honesty in service. How then, could these brave heroes be told by their country that they must lie about the core truth of their lives, or they would be barred from serving, or drummed out of the military in disgrace?
So, all of the ones I knew lied by omission. They did not declare their sexuality, and refused to disclose it if asked. Some of them were wounded, some never came home. The ones that did, were often re-deployed more than once because they had advanced military training and skills. When they finally came home and stayed, many were scarred emotionally and/or physically, and most were forever changed — just like their heterosexual counterparts. No difference. No difference at all.
I don't know one LGBT man or woman who wants to "seduce" a heterosexual, especially during combat! They simply want equality, to live normal lives, free from the constant stereotyping and bigotry that they have had to endure for eons.
Sexuality is NOT a choice, or a lifestyle. It is simply a biological fact. There are rotten LGBTs, just like their are rotten heterosexuals. The person you sleep with is not someone's defining char-ac-ter-is-tic — no, that would be char-ac-ter! You know, like strength, perseverance, compassion, courage, and honesty!
Equal rights means, uh, equal rights, i.e., freedom. It remains shocking to me that LGBTs have been seeking the right to die for those rights by defending our country. Shouldn't we all be focused on working toward peace? Maybe now, we will be.
"By ending 'don't ask, don't tell,' no longer will our nation be denied the service of thousands of patriotic Americans forced to leave the military, despite years of exemplary performance, because they happen to be gay. And no longer will many thousands more be asked to live a lie in order to serve the country they love," President Obama said in a statement.
It is high time that America joins the rest of the developed world. LGBT's right to serve openly and without penalty or disdain in the military is a huge step in doing just that. Now, let us turn our attention to bringing our military service members home safely — and soon — from all wars.
— The Curator
Legally, the federal government and 45 states do not recognize same-sex marriage — the union of two men or two women.
Which makes one aspect of the 2010 U.S. Census quite curious because it does — a decision that has incensed conservative groups nationwide.
Conservative groups say the bureau is ignoring federal and state laws by allowing same-sex couples to list themselves as married regardless of whether their relationships are legal.
"The law should count for something when the Census Bureau counts America's population, but apparently it doesn't on President Obama's watch," said Family Research Council President Tony Perkins. "The President's Commerce Department is actively encouraging people to ignore U.S. marriage law and invent new definitions for their relationships."
Perkins noted that the federal Defense of Marriage Act forbids the government from recognizing same-sex marriages.
"When it comes to advancing the extreme homosexual agenda, this White House has no limits, not even the facts," he said.
Representatives of the U.S. Census Bureau are so serious about counting same-sex unions or partnerships that they traveled to cities throughout the country yesterday trying to assure lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LBBT) individuals that not only is it safe to check the “married” box in states where same-sex marriage is not recognized, it’s encouraged.
The day before, the Census Bureau released new videos encouraging same-sex couples and transgender people to participate in the 2010 census, saying that they can be "true" to who they are when filling out census forms.
Thus, same-sex couples will, for the first time, be counted as married even if their relationships are not recognized in their state.
Moreover, transgender people have been encouraged to complete the forms according to their "true gender," as Mara Keisling of the Center for Transgender Equality stated. They, however, will not directly be counted as transgender.
"Be yourself and be counted," Keisling, a transgender-identified woman, said in one of the Census Bureau’s promotional videos.
Gay rights groups hailed the bureau's moves as historic, as it signals recognition of gay and lesbian marriages for the first time federally.
"We pushed hard to make it possible for married same-sex couples to be counted in the 2010 census," reads a statement by the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force.
The organization launched a "Queer the Census" campaign demanding even more recognition in the next U.S. census, complete with a question that asks if one is lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender.
The organization has been calling on members of the LGBT community and supporters to place pink stickers, found at www.queerthecensus.org, on the outside of their individual census packets. The stickers ask that the senders be identified by their sexual orientation.
“We have to show we are here,” said Doug Gray, a Kansas City political consultant who is gay.
In numbers come power, recognition and the ability to influence policy, he said. Without them, it’s easier for policymakers to marginalize issues affecting the gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender community.
Despite being in a committed relationship for a decade, Gray said he purposely did not identify himself as married in the census to make a point.
“I don’t consider us married, because our federal government tells us … we are not worthy of the institution of marriage,” he said. “We need to change that.”
Jason Clinton of Prairie Village, chairman of a local chapter of the Gay, Lesbian, Straight Education Network, which helps make schools safe for gay, lesbian and transgender students, did the opposite.
“My partner and I sent our survey back a few weeks ago,” he said. “We put we are married, even though it is not technically true. The census can look and see we are both male and disregard that, or they can choose to see that as what it is — an attempt to be seen as legitimate.”
Another part of the Census Bureau message: If you’re transgender — born genetically male but having changed to female, or vice versa — feel free to check the gender box you prefer.
Yesterday, the Census Bureau, in cooperation with the Spirit of Hope Metropolitan Community Church in Kansas City, Mo., sponsored an event in Kansas City entitled “Talking Numbers: A Discussion of LGBT Communities and the 2010 Census.”
The event focused on how the census will impact LGBT communities, including how same-sex couples will be counted.
“The transgender community faces some unique concerns when it comes to self-identifying our sex on the census forms, but it’s still crucial to fill out and mail it back,” Edward J. SanFilippo, LGBT partnership specials for the U.S. Census Bureau, said in a news release announcing Tuesday’s meeting.
“We can’t lose sight that we’re part of much broader communities that rely on this information — towns, cities, counties, states, and even the whole country. In this respect we count just like everyone else,” he said.
Yesterday, Che Ruddell-Tabisola, the national LGBT partnership leader for the Census Bureau, agreed. “The census is a portrait of America. Our job is to get an accurate count. … One of the most important things is for same-sex couples to know that it is 100 percent safe to participate in the census.”
Safe for two reasons:
First, individuals’ census data are confidential. Second, nowhere on the 2010 census form does the government actually ask for anyone to identify his or her sexual orientation. Boxes exist for “male,” “female” and for spousal relationship. The existence of a same-same marriage or partnership is surmised from the data.
Despite the anonymity, the issue of being counted draws mixed reactions among gay and lesbian couples.
Many, such as state Sen. Jolie Justus of Kansas City — who married partner Shonda Garrison in a May ceremony in Iowa — see the Census Bureau’s move as a small, positive step.
“I guess that I’m impressed that there is a branch of the United States government that recognizes that families come in different forms, including same-sex couples,” Justus said.
At the same time, she and others wonder whether the count actually goes far enough.
The census may capture the small percentage of the gay and lesbian community who list themselves as married couples or as partners in a household. But it does not include single or divorced gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender individuals, so it will offer no realistic sense of how many of them live, work or pay taxes.
Some conservatives worry that the census action actually will produce inflated data for gay-marriage advocates. Even if it doesn’t, they see it lending its legitimacy, another step toward redefining marriage.
In a blog posting, Gary Randall, at the Faith and Freedom Network, said it was “leaving it to responders to characterize their own relationships, regardless of legal status.”
Randall, president believes homosexual numbers will be inflated by the "you decide what you are" policy.
"This policy shift is another attempt to confuse the discussion about marriage by creating a problem of sorts, then providing a solution that advances the homosexual agenda of redefining marriage," he stated.
State Sen. Cecile Bledsoe, R-Rogers, a candidate for Arkansas’ 3rd District congressional seat, said today she opposes the campaign “not only because it’s an improper message, but because it’s an incredible waste of taxpayer dollars.”
Gay-rights activists, with strong support from the Census Bureau, are urging participation by their community in the first U.S. census that will count same-sex couples who say they’re married even though they do not have a marriage license.
“It’s wrong, it’s incorrect,” says Jerry Cox, director of the conservative Family Council, which successfully pushed a 2004 constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage in Arkansas. “They’re basically asking them to lie on the census form.” Cox says 30 states have passed referendums banning same-sex marriages.
Tim Olson, Census Bureau assistant division chief who is helping oversee the campaign, defended the program.
“What I tell folks in the bureau is that this is a powerful, important part of American society,” Olson said. “We have to reach out and engage this part of the population. Anything less than that is failure.”
Until 2003, no state granted marriage licenses to same-sex couples in the United States. Massachusetts became the first in November 2003, followed briefly by California in 2008. Connecticut allowed same-sex marriages in 2008, as did Iowa and Vermont the next year and New Hampshire in January.
It is unclear exactly how many gay and lesbian married couples reside in the United States. A 2008 American Community Survey estimates that of the 112 million U.S. households about 565,000, or about one-half of 1 percent, contain same-sex couples.
The survey also estimates that between 3 percent to 4 percent of the U.S. population, or about 10 million individuals, generally are thought to be gay or lesbian, although numbers vary greatly, depending on the questions and the surveys.
Sen. Justus said that getting an accurate count was important. She is working to get sexual orientation added to Missouri’s nondiscrimination act.
“You can be kicked out of your job because you’re gay,” she said. “There is no protection.”
The Rev. Kurt Krieger, pastor at Spirit of Hope in Kansas City, said yesterday that such vulnerability was why some in the LGBT community were slow to reveal their relationship status.
Ruddell-Tabisola reiterated the message: The U.S. Census is confidential.
“If a couple feels they are spouses, if they feel that the person they live with is, in every respect, their husband or their wife, that is how they ought to identify. The bottom line is, this is your census.”
The Census Bureau has begun mailing second forms to approximately 40 million housing units to increase America's participation. Households have until mid-April to mail back their forms. Census data are used to apportion congressional seats to states, to distribute more than $400 billion in federal funds to tribal, state and local governments each year and to make decisions about what community services to provide.
It is heartening – and frankly surprising – to learn that ANY aspect of the federal government understands people’s authentic lives. I applaud the Census Bureau in this regard and hope with all of my heart that such understanding extends to every organization, group and individual in our country, regardless of religious or political ideology. Gay unions/partnerships/marriage MUST be recognized and honored LEGALLY.
— The Curator
