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The exposure over the weekend of a so-called female escort who allegedly penned ‘The Real Princess Diaries’ as a fraud that was perpetrated by a male government employee has generated a lot of comment within the sex worker community and outside of it.
I was especially interested to read comments by two of the genuine article: One who remains a sex worker, Tasty Trixie, and the other who left the field, the always fabulous British erotic author, Belle de Jour.
Last year, Belle step out from behind her famous pen name and revealed her identity. She is Dr. Brooke Magnanti of Bristol, England, a noted scientist whose specialist areas are developmental neurotoxicology and cancer epidemiology. She has a PhD in informatics, epidemiology and forensic science and had worked at the Bristol Initiative for Research of Child Health as part of a team that researched the potential effects on babies of their mothers' exposure to toxic chemicals.
But, from 2003 to late 2004, Brooke worked as a high-class call girl for a London escort service. She has written an award-winning blog and several bestselling books based on her experiences as a high-end, call-girl in the sex industry. Her writing also formed the basis of the hit TV series Secret Diary of a Call Girl, now in its third season on Showtime, which stars Billie Piper in the title role of “Belle.”
Brooke was pretty much hounded by journalists throughout the U.K. who sought out Belle’s true identity relentlessly for years. During that time, there was constant speculation that Belle was also a fraud, and that the author was a man. Nothing could have been further from the truth. Brooke came forward on her own terms, after learning that a newspaper had managed to finally discover who she was, and had been planning an unauthorized expose. Brooke was everything, and more, that she had ever purported to be. She is also an incredibly talented writer, who may have gained fame because of the topic that she wrote about, but has maintained that fame because of the quality of her writing – and that sparkling ability continues to amaze.
Disgustingly, the ‘Real Princess Diaries’ took much of Brooke’s real-life experiences and turned them into poorly written fiction that the author asserted to be non-fiction. So, who better than Brooke to comment about this whole mess.
This is Tasty Trixie, in her own words:
“My name is Trixie. I live in a small town near Seattle, Washington. I also feel like part of me lives on the world wide web because of this site; I'm alive wherever people see me on their monitors and hear my voice through my videos, spycams and live shows.
I began doing private webcam shows and phone sex back in the year 2000 and started building this website for myself and my fans in 2002. I do a lot of different things online (blogging, podcasts, etc.) but for the past six years my main focus has been here on my site, sharing myself with my members.
...My website is a very personal labor of love where I share my homemade porn, true stories, and spycams allowing my members to see and hear inside our house around the clock.”
The real author of Diaries had claimed to be the sexy, 24-year-old “Alexa Di Carlo” who plied her trade in San Francisco where “she” was supporting herself while she attended grad school. “She” was unmasked as Thomas "Pat" Bohannan, who works for a government agency in Delaware.
The persona of Alexa DiCarlo (aka AlexaRPD, aka Caitlain of 'Caitlain’s Corner'), was allegedly that of an on-line sex worker/escort who wrote explicitly about “her” experiences and struggles.
By lying and posing as a sex worker, Bohannan insulted all readers, but especially those who do make their living in the sex industry, and most especially women. He created then hid behind a character – a sexy woman – that would entice and even arouse readers. He also pretended to be a knowledgeable sex educator, who frequently gave advise to readers in that guise.
Bohannan pulled the plug on his blog, which sadly won awards for its content! He did so without remorse, instead claiming his privacy was invaded by the disclosure. This is not an issue of privacy but of intellectual and literary fraud perpetrated perhaps for monetary gain, but certainly for ego enhancement and aggrandizement, and maybe for some hidden personal sexual agenda.
One can only imagine that Bohannan patted himself on the back quite a lot during the past two years for so thoroughly duping his readers – but not most sex workers, as they were the ones who often challenged the blog’s authenticity. It seems clear that his worst derision was directed at women. I can only hope that Bohannan is no longer amused.
Both Tasty Trixie and Brooke wrote about the ‘Real Princess Diaries’ scandal on the blog of Charlie Glickman, a respected Adult Sexuality Educator. Trixie’s comment appeared before Brooke’s so I have reposted them here in that order. Do check out Glickman’s post directly at his blog.
Trixie
Oct. 23
“You can create a harmless fictional or semi-fictional persona WITHOUT fabricating specific educational credentials you don’t have (name of school, etc. and relying upon that to establish trust you don’t deserve & set yourself as an expert you are not), WITHOUT stealing images to use on your blog & fake escort portfolio from a real sex worker who specifically does non-nude, tease-only projects, WITHOUT putting real sex workers at risk by using your fake fucking self as a reference to so they’ll see you or others as clients when you have not been vetted by a real sex worker, WITHOUT telling real sex workers and real sex educators how to do (and not do) their jobs, etc.
“Alexa” did all that and more, WITHOUT one morsel of apology, expression of remorse, or admission of any wrongdoing whatsoever, instead consistently manipulating her rabidly loyal fans into thinking S/HE is the person wronged.”
Belle de Jour
Oct. 23
"I’m 100% with Trixie on this one.There have been anonymous blogs in the past that turned out not to be authentic (Shirley Shave for instance) – it’s disappointing for sure, but it’s a whole other world when someone puts themselves forward NOT as telling their own story, but as an actual source of counselling and advice.
To claim to have academic qualifications you don’t have in order to gain others’ trust is unethical. We bloggers do not have a written code of conduct, but there is certainly a code that most people adhere to, especially in sex blogging.
I hesitated to comment on Alexa in the past, because I knew before coming out there were people who doubted me too. It’s frustrating to hear people call you fake when you know you’re not, but cant fight back because you have a life and career to protect.
However, it’s worth pointing out (and this is true for many anonymous or pseudonymous sex bloggers) that you have to gain trust. Obviously my agent and publisher believed in me, as did a couple of people in sex education in London who met me in person. And crucially people whose opinions I respected ([Tasty] Trixie and [Mistress] Matisse for instance) believed in me and supported me. So it’s possible to be anonymous and still prove your bona fides to the people who count. The person writing the Alexa blog has never done that, even though plenty of discreet, trustworthy people tried to reach out and make it happen.
Why does any of this matter? Why is this not just ‘oh, someone’s having a bit of fun?’ Because “Alexa” referred men to sex workers, potentially putting them at risk. Because some sex workers were threatened with exposure – perhaps not by Alexa, but certainly due to the situation. Because there are already countless bullshit stories about sex work peddled to the media every day, and someone claiming experience they don’t have Does Not Help. Because genuine sex educators fight to have their research taken seriously by prurient morons in mainstream media, and someone who tweets about “teaching your sons and daughters to suck ass and lick pussy” is absolutely not for real.
If someone was blogging about being disabled, and turned out to be able-bodied, there would be an uproar. If an anonymous blogger wrote about being a racial minority or queer, but wasn’t, that would be clearly manipulative and unethical: that person would rightly be shunned. But somehow, because it’s sex work, people still queue up to say “don’t take it so seriously!” Fuck that – we are a targeted, criminalised, marginalised minority who have the right to tell our own stories, and the right to protect that right.
At Desiree this summer I was very aware of how privileged I am to have the support to be fully out as an ex-sex worker to the world. I don’t take the position lightly. What offended me most was knowing someone like “Alexa” was riding the coattails of what I and countless others have achieved with real work, hurt, sweat, graft, fear, and love. Making a mockery of us, as if sex work is something anyone can do. It isn’t.”
Recently, Brooke took a hiatus from penning new entries for her REAL and award-winning blog (where she says simply, “Belle de Jour is the pen name of Brooke Magnanti, a UK-based writer and science researcher. Interests: whisky, taphonomy, PGP encryption), and from commenting on Twitter, or other social media outlets, except for an occasional tidbit or comment like the above gem.
Brooke’s books are Belle de Jour’s Guide to Men, 2009; Belle’s Best Bits, 2009; The Intimate Adventures of a London Call Girl, September 2005; The Further Adventures of a London Call Girl, May 2007; and Playing the Game, June 2009. Each one is worth reading, and not just because of the sexual content, but for Brooke’s unique writing voice – trust me! You can find her books at the U.K.'s largest independent booksellers, Waterstones.
Also check out Brooke’s op-ed articles on a variety of topics including reforming Britain’s libel law.
— The Curator
Finally, a wonderful interview of the fabulous Belle de Jour by a woman who is a legendary sex worker in her own right: The Mistress Matisse!
For those of you who are unfamiliar Belle de Jour, that had been the nom de plume of a celebrated British erotic author, and award-winning blogger, who was also a London call girl for two years.
On Nov. 15, Belle revealed her true identity, she is Dr. Brooke Magnanti, a noted scientist. She disclosed her identity through a voluntary interview with the London Sunday Times. Brooke’s specialist areas are developmental neurotoxicology and cancer epidemiology. She has a PhD in informatics, epidemiology and forensic science and is now working at the Bristol Initiative for Research of Child Health. She is currently part of a team researching the potential effects on babies of their mothers' exposure to toxic chemicals.
But, from 2003 to late 2004, Brooke worked as a prostitute via a London escort agency; she started blogging as Belle de Jour — after the Buñuel film starring Catherine Deneuve as a well-to-do housewife who has sex for money because she’s bored — shortly into her career as a call girl, after an incident she thought funny enough to write down.
She charged £300 an hour for her services, of which she got £200. The average appointment lasted two hours; she saw clients two or three times a week, “sometimes less, sometimes a great deal more,” she has said.
As Belle de Jour, Brooke, who lives in Bristol, England, has written four books in addition to her blog about her work in the sex industry.
As a US fan since her first blog post hit the internet in 2003, I had never fully understood how devotedly the UK media had gone to unmask Belle. Nor was I truly cognizant of the amazing number of theories about her even existing. Apparently, the most popular was that Belle was a construct, a fake, a non-person created by a famous male writer or journalist! How utterly insulting and deeply chauvinistic.
To me, the truth is quite simple: Brooke continues to break every mold, and challenge tired and offensive stereotypes, while having a wonderfully sex-filled time of it all! As a reader, it never occurred to me that Brooke was anything other than she purported to be. Her writing is real, and her literary voice completely authentic and utterly unique. I still check her blog every day. I’ve never missed a post, not because she’s famous or controversial, but because she’s a lyrical, important writer who’s had a deep impact on my life.
Since Brooke’s big reveal and because I remain a deeply avid fan, I have devoted space to any and all news articles, features, or columns related to her. Thus, I have carefully sifted through the media deluge on both sides of the Pond and have found some that were mildly interesting, some insulting, and most poorly written. A very, very few have been exceptional. I am proud to post one of the best of the bunch now, written by Mistress Matisse, of whom I am also a huge fan.
Mistress Matisse has been active in the BDSM community for more 18 years. Mistress is a professional dominatrix, wonderful blogger, and columnist for the Seattle-based alternative newspaper, The Stranger. Her bi-weekly columns, entitled The Control Tower, offer sexually-related advice about polyamory, kink, sex work, and the BDSM culture at large.
If you would like to read her column about Belle at the newspaper site, I have included the link. I also whole-heartedly recommend her great blog.
The following is the Mistress’ column in its entirety, unedited.
The Stranger
Control Tower
Seattle, WA
by Mistress Matisse
“The best-kept secret of the sex-blogger world was revealed recently when the long-anonymous author of the blog/book-turned-TV-show Belle de Jour: Diary of a London Call Girl revealed herself as Dr. Brooke Magnanti, a research scientist in child health at Bristol University. I asked Magnanti how she feels about being out as Belle.
Sometimes people change their behavior toward me when they find out I'm "Mistress Matisse." Are your social acquaintances treating you any differently?
People in my life are treating me exactly the same. This may be because I've never made any secret of being sex-positive. If I were still working [as an escort], it might be different, but everyone seems to take it as just another one of those crazy stories about me, like the time I kept sneaking out of a friend's birthday to have sex in the loo.
I talk to women who say, "I'd like to be an escort, but no one can ever find out!" I say, "If your world would end if people found out, then don't do it." You kept your secret for a long time. Any strategies for that?
Legally, I protected my anonymity as a writer by setting up a shell corporation that took all the payments for my work. I was undone not by legalities, but because I told the wrong person—my ex. Bottom line, if you don't want anyone to find out, don't tell anyone. That's an unlikely situation for most people. I would go with the same advice: Don't do it if coming out would destroy you.
Many women who keep their sex-work careers secret find that stressful. Did you pay a price, emotionally, to keep your friends from knowing?
It would have been far easier to be out as a sex worker. As a well-known writer and sex worker? I don't know. My friends seem prepared to handle the odd twists and turns in life, but the reaction from the press has been so stereotypical, so reductive. They are always looking for the pat, easy "explanation." Their agenda seems to be writing off any woman who has sex.
Has anyone recognized you on the street?
I was paranoid that people kept looking at me, but it seems [they were only looking at] this new red hat. Not saying it won't happen, but you have to look at a face in 2-D pretty often before you recognize it. Friends of mine read the entire Times article and didn't recognize it was me.
Now that you're out, are you enjoying the freedom to make jokes or casual references to your former career?
Love the jokes. It helps defuse the tension when I'm in a group, too; people seem to be afraid to take the piss now that I'm slightly famous. Kissing of ass and preserving of ego is not to be encouraged, ever.”
Thankfully, Mistress also dedicated her current blog to writing the remainder of questions she’d asked Brooke, but was unable to include in The Stranger column because of space considerations. Here is her blog, in its entirety. Enjoy!
"In Which I Sort Of Go All Fangirl
The lovely and talented Belle de Jour was good enough to grant me an interview recently, in the wake of her coming out as (gasp) a intelligent, emotionally balanced woman who did sex work for a while, had nothing particularly terrible happen, moved on with her life, and has no regrets about having done it.
Apparently that's a really shocking concept for a lot of people in the media. (Or at least, they pretend it is.) And a lot of them have tried to shake her from that position. But I saw a clip of Belle on TV not long ago, and I was thrilled because she was perfectly poised and composed, and she just seemed so blessedly normal.
I mean normal in the most flattering sense. Anytime I see a sex worker on a talk-show, I pretty much expect her to come off looking like a train wreck. Because that's the kind of person talk-show producers want to have on their shows, and most of the time, that's who they get. Particularly when the topic has anything to do with sex that's the slightest bit non-traditional.
And if you aren't a train wreck when you walk onto the stage, you'll probably be one by the time you walk off. I have known sexual outlaws who were able to hold their own with aggressive media people – Allena Gabosch comes to mind, and Veronica Monet - but most of us aren't trained for that, and so we get flustered and look stupid.
But when I watched Belle, she just seemed – sane. Calm. Rational, even. Just... normal! I was immensely pleased – and absurdly proud of her, even though I didn't have a thing to do with it.
Okay, so, enough fangirling.
However, since my column space at The Stranger is strictly limited to not-quite 500 words, I never have enough space to talk about everything I really want to. Here's the questions and answers I couldn't make fit in the Stranger piece.
Thanks again, Belle!
***
Mistress Matisse: There’s this habit I’ve seen in a lot of women in sex work that I call thinking in “Sex Worker Units.” Whatever one earns per hour, one forms the habit of translating dollars into time and making spending choices accordingly. A woman who thinks in Sex Worker Units will look at the price tag on, say, a dress, and think, “$900? Hmm, that would only take me 3 hours to earn.”
I find it generally skews towards being freer with money – three hours doesn't really sound like very much, really. It's easier to justify dropping cash on this or that.
The other way of saying this, that I used to hear a lot among dancers in particular, was "I'll make it back." As in, "I spent X dollars at the mall today, but it's okay, I'll make it back tonight." As if one had temporarily mislaid the money, but would soon find it again.
For good or for bad, these ways of thinking about money seems to be a hard habit for women who leave the sex industry to break. Belle, do you still catch yourself thinking in Sex Worker Units about money? (If you ever did. I suppose not everyone does.)
Belle de Jour: You know, I don't. But the main difference between you and me is that sex work was like an agreeable summer job for me, whereas it's your real vocation and talent. I tend to think in "scientist units." (As in, if I get that research grant, I can squeeze that extra conference in Rome this year...)
Mistress Matisse: What is the question that no interviewer has yet asked you, that you wish they would? (And what’s the answer?)
Belle de Jour: I wish they'd ask what I think of funding in research and academia. Not everyone in my situation would have chosen this (sex work), but plenty do. It's a crime when the slightly dim are running the banks into the ground and the truly clever are fighting over a pittance. People think once you're in science you have a job for life - I know people who sell shoes and make more than me, and I have to fight for my position every year. And we wonder why no one takes climate change science et al. seriously - it's because scientists are so little valued."
Told you it was a wonderful interview! Cheers to the Mistress, and as always, to Brooke! May these two important women write forever.
Belle de Jour’s Guide to Men, published by Orion Books, hit store shelves in the United Kingdom on Oct. 1. Not yet available in the US, it is widely available across the pond at UK bookstores, or via Amazon’s UK division.
When you’re there, be sure and check out Belle’s other books: The Intimate Adventures of a London Call Girl, September 2005; The Further Adventures of a London Call Girl, May 2007; and Playing the Game, June 2009. Not a ringer in the bunch – trust me!
— The Curator
