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Sadly, it appears that the very tired and offensive double-standard that labels women’s sexuality as taboo and men’s as expected and normal is still firmly in place – at least in terms of advertising.
A new female product, Zestra Essential Oils, which is a blend of botanical oils and extracts including Angelica, claims that it will enhance sexual arousal and even improve achieving orgasm in women.
The manufacturer claims the product is not having any trouble getting it on with its women users, but in getting it on the air via advertisers.
Semprae Laboratories, Zestra’s manufacturer, believes their ad has been rejected by a host of TV and other venues, including Facebook, because of our culture’s discomfort with women’s sexuality.
While it is almost impossible to watch nighttime TV without a barrage of male ads promoting Viagra and Cialis to treat erecticle dysfunction, complete with a frank warning about a four-hour erection, an ad promoting what Zetra may do has barely been seen.
Another product targeting the women sexuality market, KY Intense, has had its very frank ads aired without a problem. That product, with uses a compound including niacin to cause a warm, tingling feeling on the clitoris, only depicts a female and male couple in its advertisements. In those ads, the women use the product to get excited to have sex, and better sex, with the man.
Instead, the Zestra ad features middle-aged women discussing their loss of libido, and how the product has helped them regain a feeling of sexual arousal.
So, what is the problem? Like its manufacturer, I believe that the problem is that Zestra may truly be the first product ever marketed that places female pleasure first. Men are not necessary in this brave new world of women’s pleasure – lesbians take notice!
In addition some, including outspoken masturbation (solo-sex) proponent Whoppi Goldberg of The View, has noted that Zestra may be a true boon for women to receive sexual pleasure without any partner at all. All you need is a vulva and some Zestra – woohoo!
Underscoring this conclusion, is an article in the New York Times (which appears in full below) that points out that in an online ad for Zestra a woman says, “It works so well, when I think about it, it even makes me want to go home and use it now.” There are no men depicted anywhere in that segment.
[The above photograph is from the Zestra website, and is an example of what I believe is at the true basis of the real controversy.]
Here is the Zestra website's claim: “Better Sex, Effortlessly. Recommended by doctors, Zestra® is a safe, natural, easy-to-apply blend of botanical oils and extracts that works by heightening a woman's sense of touch. So you feel more during sex. Experience the Zestra Rush™ within minutes the first time — and every time — you use it.”
How does it work? Here’s what the website goes on to says: "Many women say that feelings of desire, arousal and sexual satisfaction do not happen as naturally as they would like. Zestra was developed to provide a much needed option for all women to feel more sexually satisfied.
Zestra is a safe, patented blend of botanicals oils and extracts, created to help women feel more — effortlessly. Topically applied Zestra works within minutes by heightening your sensitivity to touch – for deep, pleasurable sensations, sexual satisfaction and fulfillment.
After applying Zestra to the clitoris and labia, the effects – the Zestra Rush™ – begin for most women within 3 to 5 minutes and last for up to 45 minutes.”
Shame on advertisers for keeping women (underscore consumers) from taking the responsibility for their sexuality in their own hands, in the same way that marketers have allowed men to do since advertising was invented!
The following is the aforementioned New York Times article in its entirety below, or read it directly on its website:
For Female-Aphrodisiac Makers, Effort at Parity
By Abby Ellin
A woman in her early 40s pops up on the TV screen. “Women are starting to talk about something they have been feeling for a long time,” she says, “wanting more sexual satisfaction.”
Another woman, this one in her mid-50s says, “After I had my children, sex didn’t make me feel the same way.”
And a third, “I wish it were easier for me to feel aroused.” The two-minute ad for Zestra Essential Arousal Oils, a blend of botanical oils and extracts that promise to enhance sexual arousal for women, was created by ShadowBox Entertainment Pictures.
In an age of soul-bearing memoirs (adultery, addiction, incest) and frank discourse on male sexual concerns (impotence, size), the commercial is pretty tame: middle-age women discussing how they feel less than amorous. And when compared with a commercial for, say, Fire and Ice from Trojan, which features a couple racing into a 24-hour pharmacy to buy the product, it’s downright PG.
Still, Zestra has had a difficult time getting its ad approved to run on the air, meeting resistance from TV networks, national cable stations, radio stations, and even Web sites like Facebook and WebMD.
Rachel Braun Scherl, the president of Semprae Laboratories, which manufactures Zestra, believes it is because of the culture’s discomfort with women’s sexuality.
“The Cialises of the world are a perfectly acceptable part of conversation in our culture today, but when it comes to talking about the realities of women’s lives, like menstruation, you always have some woman running in the field in a dress,” Ms. Braun Scherl said. “In our experience, we haven’t seen women behaving that way. There’s a double standard when it comes to society’s comfort level with female sexual health and enjoyment.”
From May to December 2009, Ms. Braun Scherl and Mary W. Jaensch, Semprae’s chief executive, shopped the ad around to about 100 TV stations. With the exception of Soapnet Women’s Entertainment and Discovery Health, many either refused or placed certain parameters on the ads.
BET, for example would only broadcast the ad from 11 p.m. to 4 a.m. and 8 to 9 a.m. Some of the other networks required additions — which the company made — to add disclaimers like: “Not for people under 18.” But the bulk of the stations and networks indicated that there were no changes that could be made to render the ad appropriate.
Zestra did not fare any better with radio. In the spring, Ms. Braun Scherl and Ms. Jaensch hired Leibler-Bronfman Lubalin advertising, a Manhattan agency, to create a series of radio ads. Many stations told them to remove the words sex and arousal, which proved somewhat challenging for a product having to do with sexual arousal.
In the end, only KBAY in San Jose, Calif., and KMJQ in Houston ran the commercials; KBAB and KSCS, both in Texas, agreed to broadcast them from midnight to 6 a.m., “which is useless,” said Albert Romano, LBL’s media director. “It’s called the graveyard shift for a reason. What’s the point of running the spots if no one’s going to hear them?”
Beth Bronfman, LBL’s chief executive, agreed that a double-standard existed when marketing some products to women. “Have you ever listened to a Cialis commercial word for word?” Ms. Bronfman said. “ ‘An erection lasting more than four hours.’ Why is that O.K.?”
Zestra came close to being featured on the Web site WebMD’s sex and relationship section, which regularly posts advertorials on Viagra and erectile dysfunction, but the company ultimately received an e-mail saying that Zestra “did not fall in line with WebMD’s Best Practice Guidelines.” When Ms. Braun Scherl and Ms. Jaensch asked for clarification on what those practices were, they did not receive a response. Neither Eric Lloyd, the Web site’s director for strategic consumer partnerships, nor Kate Hahn, a spokeswoman for WebMD, returned phone calls or e-mails seeking comment.
An ad on Facebook that read “Zestra Essential Arousal Oils — Try Zestra for Free” was pulled after several weeks. Ms. Braun Scherl and Ms. Jaensch received an e-mail stating that Facebook did not allow “advertisements that contain or promote adult content” including “sexual terms and/or images.” The women said they were unsuccessful in reaching Facebook officials to discuss the ad. Representatives from Facebook did not return calls or e-mails.
“Double standards abound when it comes to advertising anything having to do with our private parts,” said Robert J. Thompson, a professor of television and popular culture at Syracuse. “Commercials for erectile dysfunction products, which discuss not only sex but the hydraulic processes involved in having sex have played during major venues like the Super Bowl. They boldly tout male sexual pleasure as a commodity: an erection in a bottle.”
The difference with Zestra is that it “places female pleasure first, and even seems to suggest that this pleasure can be had with or without the presence of a man,” Mr. Thompson said. Indeed, in one online ad for Zestra, a woman says that, “It works so well, when I think about it, it even makes me want to go home and use it now.” There are no men anywhere in the picture.
Mr. Thompson acknowledges that some of the reluctance to broadcast the ads may have to do with the vague sense of what products like Zestra actually do. “If this product works as well as it claims, Victorian prissiness and the collective American embarrassment about sex will probably be trumped by the marketplace,” he said.
According to Ms. Braun Scherl and Ms. Jaensch, Zestra sales have increased month over month, and the business is growing. The product has also been featured on television shows like “Dr. Oz,” “Rachael Ray” and the “Tyra Banks.”
Still, “there is a huge unmet need, and we’re limited in our ability to get the message to men and women who would benefit from the product,” Ms. Braun Scherl said. “What I would say is, if there are standards for what is acceptable and what is not acceptable, they should be equally applied to products for male and female sexual enjoyment.”'
Hey, I plan to order a small amount to try it. Will get back to you after it's...come!
(Note: The manufacturer has just provided me with a website for readers to sign a petition who feel "outraged" by this double-standard, and has requested that I provide it here. I think this is worth considering, but NOT as a marketing ploy, but to make sure that women's sexuality is taken seriously.)
— The Curator
I started this blog to provide a forum for information and opinions regarding anything and everything sexual.
I never expected that anything I would write, other than my musings, would make it into these posts but I was wrong – thanks to the famous erotic author Alison Tyler. Among her multitude of accomplishments (award winning books, etc.) she also has an equally award-winning blog.
Recently, she held a “Flash Fuck Me Fiction” contest, allowing any adult with an interest to enter, provided their erotica entry didn’t exceed 100 words. Well, she ended up with numerous entrants, including one from me, representing my first publicly presented work of original erotic fiction.
But the most amazing? She didn’t pick one winner, she decided instead to feature EACH ENTRY on her blog, along with a matching photograph just like a real story! That is absolutely mindblowing, and more generous than I can say. It is beyond rare for an established, successfully famous author to allow non-pros this type of opportunity. Trust me, it just doesn’t happen.
Here’s what Alison posted in her own words:
“First off, I have to say, "wow." No, wait. I mean, "Wow." Hell, that's not right either. WOW. Yeah. That's more like it.
Your 100-word flashers rocked my world. I'll repeat myself here, or rephrase myself, but writers who can manipulate short fiction blow my mind. I've been captivated by the concept for longer than I care to admit. (But I think, if you cut me open and counted my rings, there would be this spot two decades ago, that would indicate an early love for flashers.)
Anyway, what do I want to do with your words? I want to fuck them so bad. Will you let me? If I feed them dinner first? Bite by tiny bite? What if take them to a movie show? No, wait. I want to highlight them right here on the blog, one flasher at a time. And I want to match these sexy scenarios with gorgeous succulent do me pictures by Riendo. A gallery in motion. Words and pictures. I always wanted to do a curator.
I mean, be one.
So over the next few weeks, I will be putting up photos and flashers. I had thought to do a poll—but there are so many entries. I'm kind of gobsmacked. And some of the pieces don't have titles—I think it would get too complicated. I don't know about you? But complicated is not where I want to go right now.
I have prizes for *all* of the entrants—if you drop me your snail mail address and let me know which flasher you wrote, I will mail you a copy of one of my short-short collections. If you wrote more than one, no worries. I'll send you more than one book. And I'll also "talk" with you about the book I'm working on, and how you could be involved.
XXX,
Alison”
As a result, my little erotic adventure debuted today on her blog. Read it below, or directly at...I still can’t believe I’m saying this...at Alison Tyler’s blog! (While you’re there, be sure to read the other Flash Fuck Me Fiction, and the other erotica that’s posted at her main blog page.)
Subway
by The Curator
I’m not pretty, but it doesn’t matter because I smell like sex. It’s rush-hour Monday. I wedge into the most crowded subway car I can find. I choose carefully, forcing my barely concealed tits hard against the chest of a wall-streeter wearing a light colored, expensive suit. I meet his already smoldering eyes. Silently, I thrust my hips into his instantly hard cock and grind. The train jerks and so does he. I jump off, glancing back to see his shocked face and the dark wetness spreading across the front of his sharply-creased pants.
~~~~
Thank’s again, Alison, and thanks also to Riendo for the great Subway photo.
You have always been a favorite author Alison, but now I know you are so much more: You are a kind, and generous woman. I remain profoundly grateful.
Be sure and check out all of her books including her current bestseller Alison's Wonderland
. I promise that they will titillate all of the senses. And, don’t forget to check out her great website, which is a completely fab world in and of itself!
— The Curator
The incomparable erotic author Belle de Jour, otherwise known as Dr. Brooke Magnanti, was back in print with two great, but quite different, British interviews about her work in the sex industry.
Last year, Belle step out from behind her famous pen name and revealed her identity. Brooke, of Bristol, England, is a noted scientist whose specialist areas are developmental neurotoxicology and cancer epidemiology. She has a PhD in informatics, epidemiology and forensic science and had worked at the Bristol Initiative for Research of Child Health as part of a team that researched the potential effects on babies of their mothers' exposure to toxic chemicals.
But, from 2003 to late 2004, Brooke worked as a high-class call girl for a London escort service. She has written an award-winning blog and several bestselling books based on her experiences as a high-end call-girl in the sex industry. Her writing also formed the basis of the TV series Secret Diary of a Call Girl, now in its third season on Showtime, and starring Billie Piper in the title role of “Belle.”
Recently, Brooke took a hiatus from penning new entries for her award-winning blog (where she says simply, “Belle de Jour is the pen name of Brooke Magnanti, a UK-based writer and science researcher. Interests: whisky, taphonomy, PGP encryption"), and from commenting on Twitter, or other social media outlets, except for an occasional tidbit or comment.
Since I began my blog, I had unerringly reprinted her own amazing blog posts, along with any interviews that featured her. Despite her generally dropping out of active public sight, I remain unabashedly supportive of Brooke in all of her endeavors.
The following article appeared Sept. 16, in the U.K.’s Telegraph and is my favorite that has been done. It is a wonderful attempt to get to know Brooke, not Belle, for a change. I congratulate its author, Jessica Salter, for writing it.
I say this because in my view, it would be a very serious mistake to shackle this talented woman to the sex-book genre only – Brooke’s abilities far exceed the titillation of the senses, but also titillation of the mind.
The second article appeared in today’s Yorkshire Post, and relates to sex-industry topics. It is a much more traditional interview approach, so less illuminating.
Let me be very clear: I am thrilled to read in and all articles featuring Brooke discussing her sex-industry experience, but I would also be just as thrilled to read any feature in which she talks about – or especially writes on – any topic because she is simply just that good. Frankly, Brooke Magnanti is unforgettable.
Please read the Telegraph’s article in full below, or at the newspaper’s website:
Telegraph, UK, Sept. 16
Brooke Magnanti, author, blogger and former call girl
The 34-year-old discusses growing up in Florida, why she became a call girl and how her secret identity was revealed
By Jessica Salter
[Note: All photographs that appear in the article below were taken by Lucy Levene, and appear as they do at the website.]
Dr Brooke Magnanti, 34, a research scientist with a PhD in informatics, epidemiology and forensic science, is better known as Belle de Jour, the anonymous blogger who wrote about her life as a high-class call girl. Her blog spawned two books, which were adapted for the television series The Secret Diary of a Call Girl, starring Billie Piper. She unmasked herself last November, and currently works for the Bristol Initiative for Research of Child Health, studying the effect of pesticides on children’s brain development. Her latest book, Belle de Jour’s Guide to Men (Phoenix), is out now.
Routine I’m usually up by 7am but it takes me an hour of holding a cup of tea and listening to Radio 4 before I can do anything useful. Then I answer some emails, do a bit of writing, and then go to work at about 10am.
Florida I bought this citrus crate label (pictured) on eBay and framed it because it reminds me of growing up in Clearwater in west Florida, where you saw the crates of oranges and these labels everywhere. When I grew up, most of Walt Disney World hadn’t been built yet, and the area was just beaches and orange groves. When I go back I can still see little bits of old Florida poking through.
Fire Before I moved to Sheffield to start my PhD in forensic pathology, I left most of my things at my mum’s house in Florida and just took a suitcase and a bunch of books over to England with me. A couple of weeks later I got a phone call from my auntie. The first thing she said was, 'Don’t worry, your mum is OK,’ but she was calling to tell me that the house had burnt down and everything had gone.
Gourd One of the few old things that I still own, and that I take everywhere with me, is this little gourd (pictured), which has seeds inside. My uncle lives in Ecuador and he sent it to me when I was about five.
Rowing I started rowing when I got to Sheffield and one of my memories of living there was when the river was frozen over and we had to smash through the ice with the boat. This tankard (pictured) is from one of the regattas we won.
Cash flow After I had written my thesis I moved to London to find a job because I’d pretty much run out of money. I couldn’t get a bank loan or an overdraft because of my student visa, and I couldn’t get a job in science because my PhD hadn’t been awarded yet. A friend gave me a cheque for £150 to help out. I just looked at it and thought, 'But what about next month?’
Call girl In 2003 I met a well-heeled couple in a restaurant and we went back to their place. Afterwards the man called me a cab and shoved loads of notes in my hand, but it was only when I was inside that I thought, 'This is more than the cab costs.’ Then it dawned on me that working as a call girl wouldn’t be so much different from that evening. It was something I was willing to try, and if I didn’t like it, no one had to know. I charged £300 an hour, of which I got to keep £200 (the rest went to an agency). The average appointment lasted two hours and I saw clients two or three times a week until I gave up a year and a half later.
Birth of Belle I started the blog because I wanted to talk about what was happening to me. I’m very used to chatting with friends and suddenly I had all these anecdotes that I couldn’t tell anyone. I had already been writing a blog about science and another one about whisky, so I knew how to write them. I kept the science one going for a while because I didn’t want anyone to figure out the two were linked and work out who I was.
Chest of drawers I bought this chest of drawers (pictured) with the money I won for a blogger prize. This was before the books so I thought if nothing else came of Belle, in years to come I’d have something to show for it.
Relaxing hobbies My grandmother taught me how to knit. I find it so relaxing and I’ve usually got some kind of project on the go – at the moment it is a jumper (pictured). The really irritating thing is you can’t take your needles on flights any more, which is where I used to do most of my knitting. I love to bake as well.
Coming out A British blogger called Darren worked out my identity in 2004, because he’d followed a previous blog that I’d written, but he kept my secret. Unknown to me he had set up a widget that alerted him whenever my real name was Googled along with Belle de Jour’s, and he didn’t get any hits for five years. But last October he started getting odd hits and he traced the IP address to a tabloid newspaper and told me via Twitter. A few weeks later a reporter broke into my workplace. I decided to beat the tabloids to it and go public.
Relief The strangest part was telling my mum. She now lives in New York and I kept trying to call her but my phone kept dying. I knew I had a deadline because an interview with me was coming out in a newspaper so I ran out and bought a new phone. I thought this is definitely not the type of conversation to have on email. She was great about it but it was a very strange moment when she called me back, having bought and read my books and given them to my grandmother.
~~~~~~
The following news feature below appears in today’s Yorkshire Post, or at its website:
Yorkshire’s National Newspaper
Yorkshire Post, Sept. 21
Why money has stripped away class barriers in the sex
By Grace Hammond
In recent years, the middle classes have been busy monopolising areas they previously feared to tread.
Once sleeping in tents was only for those unable to afford to holiday abroad. Now you can't move on the average campsite for well-off families wanting to get back to basics. Dog tracks have seen an influx of professional punters and even bingo has be come a mecca for the middle classes.
Now in what may well be the final frontier, it seems they are also taking over the sex industry.
According to recent research by the University of Leeds, one in four lap dancers have a degree – and one of the most striking details of the Wayne Rooney affair was the background of two women he allegedly took to the Lowry Hotel.
Both had been brought up in middle class families, yet for one reason or another found themselves working as escorts, leaving their embarrassed parents to issue public apologies.
"Obviously, the economy is the key," says research scientist Dr Brooke Magnanti, aka Belle de Jour, whose infamous blog about her life as a call girl was made into a TV series starring Billie Piper. "More and more women are realising that the stereotype of the drug addicted streetwalker does not always (or even often) apply, and are voting with their wallets, so to speak.
"We've come a long way in accepting people for doing what is, let's face it, a legal and storied profession."
While inner city red light districts may still be the preserve of a vulnerable underclass, lap dancing clubs and escort agencies have a far wider cross-section of employees. It's easy to see why. The dancers questioned in the Leeds survey took home an average of £232 a shift. With most working between two and four shifts a week, an annual income of between £24,000 and £48,000 is more than most part-time jobs would ever pay.
For some, the sex industry may provide a good wage, but the seemingly endless supply of women wanting to sign up is bad news for campaign groups like the Fawcett Society and Objects, which believe they are little more than a form of commercial sexual exploitation.
While many may end up working as lap dancers and escorts of their own free will, there are concerns a significant number will become trapped in the job, unwilling to move on because of the money.
"No one should be forced to do any kind of work that they really don't want to do, simply to survive," says Catherine Redfern, of The New Feminist Movement, "and obviously this applies whether a woman has a degree or has no qualifications at all. The idea that this is more of a concern just because women with degrees are doing this work, is abhorrent.
"The fact that it's predominantly female students, and not male students who are doing this, highlights the entrenched sexism of the sex industry.
"It promotes the idea of women as passive sex objects to be looked at by men. We need to question why this is considered the norm, how society is set up to encourage men and women to see their sexuality in this rigid, binary way, and encourage a much more diverse view."
Perhaps unsurprisingly, Magnanti, who was completing a PhD at Sheffield University's department of forensic pathology when she became a call girl, takes a far more pragmatic view.
"I guess I was the only person in the country who wasn't surprised at the survey's results," she says candidly. "Stripping and sex work are a lot like waiting tables – some people have what it takes to do it for life, but most people are just moving through it on the way to another career.
"Many of the women I met in the business were well-educated enough to know a minimum wage job couldn't possibly fund their futures.
"In my opinion, it says less about women and feminism than it does about education and government priorities. I'm sure the survey results would have been very different if the study was conducted back when students had grants for university fees.
"However, when it comes to sex and people's private lives, it is absolutely hypocritical for others to judge.
"There isn't a person in this country with a spotless past if you look hard enough."
~~~~~~
As Belle de Jour, Brooke has written four books in addition to her blog about her work in the sex industry. Her fifth book, Belle's Best Bits: A London Call Girl Reveals Her Favourite Adventures
.
Here is a description of that book, provided by Orion Books:
“From the summer of 2003 Belle charted her day-to-day adventures on and off the field in a frank, funny and award-winning diaries. She was the first to reveal (among other things) how she became a working girl, what it feels like to do it for money, and where to buy the best knickers for the job. She also discusses her efforts to change from 'working girl' to working girl, whilst sneaking off to visit clients in her lunch hour. From debating the literary merits of Martin Amis with naked clients to smuggling whips into luxury hotels, this is a no-holds barred account of the high-class sex-trade, and an insight into the secret life of an extraordinary woman.”
Her other books are Belle de Jour’s Guide to Men, 2009; The Intimate Adventures of a London Call Girl, September 2005; The Further Adventures of a London Call Girl, May 2007; and Playing the Game, June 2009. There is not a ringer in the bunch – trust me!
Also be sure to check out her op-ed articles on a variety of topics including reforming libel law in Britian.
[Note: The top photograph of the beautiful Brooke was taken by Geraint Lewis]
— The Curator
I really like the way my vulva looks, including my labia. In fact, I think my lips are quite kissable – and I’m not talking about the ones that frame my mouth!
Why am I discussing my most intimate bits and pieces, you ask? Because of a recent absurd “study” by a Texas TV News station that proclaimed 80 percent of women have larger than average labia, and that they suffer medical problems as a result.
This was such a spurious report that I feel compelled to comment. I have included the full report below, along with a portion of a blog post by the brilliant Dr. Petra Boynton, who flays the account with real science.
But, before I give my friend the doctor her say, I want to have my own. The report provides no information on how they arrived at this ridiculous percentage – and just what exactly, is an “average” sized labia?
This type of non-science only serves to pressure women into unnecessary surgery to “correct” an imperfection that doesn’t exist, and it further erodes a woman’s self-esteem and body image!
Women’s vulvas are as different and unique in appearance as are their faces – there is NO average. Some women have symmetrical labia that barely raise above the skin, while others have glorious a-symmetrical labia “wattles” that spread up and out like the wings of a magical butterfly. Their colors are as varied as their shape, and generally deepen spectacularly when the woman becomes sexually aroused. (In fact, many women enjoy having their labia stroked, licked or pulled during sex because it can provide a great deal of pleasure.)
It is these symmetrical labia that we women are now being told are the only beautiful variety and thus should be sought after, and that anything else “down there” should be considered ugly and surgically altered cosmetically. ABSURD!
I am old enough to have lived through a lot of negative sexual imagery aimed at woman. While much has changed, we still live in an extremely misogynistic culture that minutely scrutinizes every part of a woman’s body, literally from the top of her head to the tip of her toes. The result almost always finds each and every woman lacking in some minor to major area. Women are told that they just don’t measure up. They are not attractive enough and need makeup or cosmetic surgery – or, they are too attractive and need to tone it down.
Sadly, even though this is 2010, a lot of women have never seen their nether regions, and many believe those unseen bits and pieces are ugly, vulgar and even dirty. How can we ever hope to evolve into a sex-positive society if that type of female self-loathing continues to be passed down to each succeeding generation of girls? If you are a woman and have never looked, do so already! If you’re embarrassed, do it alone, maybe in the privacy of a shower; if not, then enjoy the exploration of your own body with your partner.
Just think for a minute, can you even imagine a society in which men subliminally tell their sons that their penises are ugly, and should be hidden away from view at all costs except to pee – and even then, that they should not look at or touch them because they are loathsome?
Dr. Betty Dodson (Sex for One: The Joy of Selfloving
; and Orgasms for Two: The Joy of Partnersex
) pioneered an approach for women to learn to accept and then to love the body that they have, exactly as it is – whole, totally individual and without exception, beautiful. Dodson, who has worked in the sexual health field for decades and continues to do so (Betty Dodson: My Sexual Revolution
,) even took photographs of women’s vulvas to use in her practice. Those photos are gorgeous. She is also a talented artist, who rendered the images of these precious vulvas into breathtaking black and white drawings.
It is high time for women to reject marketing and cosmetic companies efforts to define what we should look like simply to line their own pockets with gold. Take pride in being female, in having an amazing body that only other women have! Embrace your sensuality and sexuality, and just refuse to allow anyone, or any company, to belittle your body or appearance. It doesn’t matter what color you are, how tall, short, heavy, thin, able-bodied or disabled, you remain a woman – innately beautiful and gloriously unique, even sacred. The rest is truly just so much hateful bullshit!
The following is the ridiculous “report” that started it all, read it below or at the TV’s website:
Nip/Tuck: Don't Like How Your Vagina Looks?
Women Turning To Elective Surgery For a Cosmetic Fix
CW Dallas Fort Worth TV News
Shana Franklin, The 33 News
For the first time since she was a teenager, one Dallas woman in her 40's can now bend down and twist without discomfort. She said, "It completely changes your life. Now when someone says, 'Do you want to go and do something?' I don't give it any thought."
We're withholding the woman's name to protect her privacy about a something that may affect as many as 80% of women. It's an enlarged large labia majora and or labia minora. With it comes genital pressure, friction and chaffing that can make sitting or doing sports nearly impossible. And sex, well forget about it being fun or sexy.
Dallas Ob/Gyn Dr. Otto Huertas said, "I have a lot of patients that come in basically ashamed of their bodies. I mean they don't even want to show their body, their body parts to their partner."
Dr. Huertas has done of hundreds of surgical corrections. It's an outpatient procedure called Labioplasty. The extra genital tissue is trimmed with a laser, sometimes under just a local anesthesia. Dr. Huertas said, "You have to take into consideration that the with the media and the magazines, a lot women are looking at these perfect pictures of women, including the genital area. So their self-image changes a little bit."
After having Labioplasty, all the activities the Dallas woman we introduced you to earlier couldn't do are now only a memory. Among them, she said, "sitting on a plane, rides at Six Flags, water slides, things like that . It effects every part of your life."
Now, "Let's go" is her motto and peace is a reality. She said, "I think that leaves you feeling very empowered. First of all you own your body again. Nothing else owns it. You have the right to make all the choices you want to make."
And enjoy them.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Below, are excerpts of an excellent blog post by Dr. Boynton. You can also read it in its entirety at her always outstanding website:
Dr. Petra Boynton
Even with my dubious maths skills this doesn’t make sense. Because if such a large majority of women report large labia then presumably this becomes ‘the norm’ rather than ‘a problem.’
Merely an assumption that science has shown us 80% of women have larger labia. So we don’t know how many women were studied to make up this figure, who they were, when they were studied, or whether they actually considered themselves to have a problem. We don’t know who did the research, or whether it was even published. We’re given no clue about how ‘enlarged’ labia must be before they become unwieldy. The statistic becomes even more ludicrous if we’re assuming ‘enlarged’ to mean ‘larger than average’. In which case we seem to be being told that 80% of women have larger than average labia.
Had any research been undertaken the journalists may have learned there is no clear evidence for the effectiveness of cosmetic genital surgery in well women, but there is a growing trend within the cosmetic surgery industry to pathologise the female body as a means to creating a wider market in ‘enhancement.’
Although uncritical media reporting on genital surgery is not unusual there is fortunately an antidote.
THE NEW VIEW CAMPAIGN announces its THIRD Conference, to be held at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas, on Sunday, September 26, 2010.
FRAMING THE VULVA: GENITAL COSMETIC SURGERY AND GENITAL DIVERSITY
While the vulva surgeons are holding a conference on the Las Vegas strip, the New View, in collaboration with the UNLV Women’s Studies Department and Petals, will hold a counter-conference to examine the personal and political complexities of the new female genital cosmetic surgeries.
Our one-day event will include a morning plenary session on the emerging issues in genital scholarship, activism, and art, and an afternoon of experiential and discussion workshops for participants to share strategies and build connections. The event will conclude with an evening reception, photography and craft exhibition, and film showing at the Erotic Heritage Museum.
Areas covered will include:
• Cosmetogynecology and the new genital perfectability industries
• The rhetoric vs. the realities of Western genital surgeries vs. “FGM” (Female Genital Mutilation)
• Collaborative models of activism
• The revival of “cunt art” in craft, film, photography and painting
• Sex education and feminist-owned sex shops
• The latest body modification trends, from Vajazzling to Vatooing
• Disease-mongering, marketing, and body surveillance
• Critical health studies perspectives on cosmetic genital surgery
Confirmed plenary speakers include:
• Virginia Braun, University of Auckland, New Zealand
• Leonore Tiefer, NYU Medical School, NYC
• Vanessa Schick, Indiana University, Bloomington
• Lynn Comella, UNLV, Las Vegas
Full registration, hotel, and contact information here.
Please share information widely and if you’re a health worker, activist, therapist or sex educator do try and support the event if you can – either by attending the conference or donating to the New View Campaign. Journalists may particularly want to attend to learn more about celebrating women’s bodies and accurate reporting on the growing trend for medicalisation.
In the meantime go on – love your labia! Or love someone else’s.
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Thanks to Dr. Boynton for such a great post, and for providing the information on the up-coming conference.
Oh yeah, before I forget, enjoy the following vulva photograph gallery that I compiled from the web. I also have a difficult confession: Copying these photographs made me embarrassed! The irony, of course, is that this whole post is to encourage women to accept, even treasure, their natural vulvas; to work toward acquiring fantastic body images regardless of what you look like – and here I was blushing to my toes. How idiotic of me. So, I spent some time privately really looking at these images, and you know what? They aren’t embarrassing, they’re beautiful, whether they look like me, or not. In fact, they depict just a few of the gorgeous variety of women’s rainbow labia. (There may also be a photo that includes a well-placed penis or tongue, too!)
If you’ve never seen your own, or anyone else’s, I promise that you are in for a treat, and will be absolutely amazed. If you feel uncomfortable, do what I did, just keep looking at them until you’re comfortable. If you do, you’ll understand just how lucky we are as women to have a fabulously-beautiful vulva! (My only regret is that the bulk of these women have shaved their vulvas – I much prefer these delicate petals TOTALLY al-naturale!)
Natural Labia RULE!
— The Curator
Each person’s deep, profound spiritual connection to their God is a sacred relationship that should never be belittled or disrespected.
I am breaking my blog’s theme to comment on an important controversy that has been tearing this county apart, and continues to generate international attention and condemnation.
A small town pastor, Terry Jones, has collected 200 copies of the Qu’ran (Koran), the holy book of Islam, that he has threatened to deliberately burn on Saturday – the 10th Anniversary of the terrorist attacks on 9-11, which plunged our nation into two on-going wars.
Ironically, Jones’ church, Dove World Outreach Centre in Gainesville, Fla., has only 30 members, but because of news coverage and the Internet, his outrageous plan has been transmitted globally.
Thus far, the openly gun-toting Jones has rejected calls by a multi-religious coalition, U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, U.S. General David Petraeus, the Obama administration, and the world-wide community to abandon his offensive plan to burn the copies of the Muslim sacred text.
Let me add my small voice to the outrage to this proposed book-burning. The upcoming 10th Anniversary of the worst terror attacks on U.S. soil should be commemorated with healing, not hate; insight, not instigation; and with unification, not ugliness. Just imagine how Christians would feel if an Islamic Imam planned to burn 200 Holy Bibles outside a mosque on 9/11 to protest the U.S. war efforts?
The church has been denied a permit to set a bonfire but has vowed to proceed with the burning. Apparently, Jones has dug in his hateful heels.
I have a genuine proposal. Why don’t a few of us Americans who support religious freedom and the absolute right of Muslims to practice their faith, replace each and every Qu’ran (Koran) that is burned? I suggest we, as individuals, each buy one of the holy books and donate it directly to a mosque, or give it to a practicing Muslim along with a heart-felt apology for the grave insult! The Qu’ran (Koran
) is inexpensive in most book stores, so we simply need 200 people of an open heart to do the right thing. This is not an idle suggestion. I have already ordered a Qu’ran (Koran) and will send it to the nearest Mosque.
I am not a Christian, but let me take a moment to quote the Holy Bible. As King Solomon so wisely noted in Ecclesiastes 3:1-8:
To everything there is a season,
and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die;
A time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
A time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
A time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to get, and a time to lose;
A time to keep, and a time to cast away;
A time to rend, and a time to sew;
A time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate;
A time of war, and a time of peace.
If we have learned anything in the past decade it is that we need to better understand each other, to abandon the ways of war and adopt the ways of peace. Our country was founded on religious freedom and the respect for each other’s spiritual beliefs. That extends to all faiths, all religions, not just the ones we understand, or agree with.
Gen. Petraeus, who is the U.S. and Nato commander in Afghanistan, warned of retaliatory action against U.S. troops after protests took place when the news of what Jones was planning was reported in the capital Kabul. Effigies of Jones were burned alongside the American flag.
Asked by a news agency what Jesus would do if he was alive, Jones said he believed Jesus would burn the Qu’rans (Korans.) I do not, cannot, will not believe that is true. While I do not believe that Jesus was the Son of God, I do believe that his was a teaching of love, tolerance and acceptance. Christ would not have burned any sacred text.
Jones says he is determined to go ahead in the face of fierce condemnations, as well as 100 death threats.
"If we don't do it, when do we stop backing down?" he told the media. "It's something we need to do, it's a message we need to send...Instead of us backing down, maybe it's time to stand up. Maybe it's time to send a message to radical Islam that we will not tolerate their behavior," he told news agencies. Jones confirmed he would be armed during the event. "We are prepared to give our lives for this," he said.
But just what is that message? If it’s that he’s a religious bigot, then he’s more than accomplished his goal.
Secretary of State Clinton led the condemnation of the planned burning, describing it as a "disrespectful, disgraceful act." Others in the Obama administration weighed in, including Eric Holder, the attorney general, who called it idiotic and dangerous. A state department spokesman called the planned protest "un-American."
The plans have been greeted with alarm in the Middle Eastern press. Lebanon's Daily Star said they were "likely to ignite a fire of rage that could consume swathes of the globe," while United Arab Emirates paper the Khaleej Times describe the planned burning as "rabid and insane."
White House spokesman Robert Gibbs echoed the concerns raised by Petraeus. "Any type of activity like that puts our troops in harm's way would be a concern to this administration," Gibbs said.
At a meal last night ironically marking the breaking of the Ramadan fast, Clinton said, "We sit down together for this meal on a day when the news is carrying reports that a pastor down in Gainesville, Florida, plans to burn the holy Qur'an on September 11. I am heartened by the clear, unequivocal condemnation of this disrespectful, disgraceful act that has come from American religious leaders of all faiths, from evangelical Christians to Jewish rabbis as well as secular U.S. leaders and opinion-makers.
"Our commitment to religious tolerance goes back to the very beginning of our nation. Many of you know that in 1790, George Washington wrote to a synagogue in Newport, Rhode Island, that this country will give 'to bigotry no sanction, to persecution no assistance.' The real story of Islam in America can be found in this room, and rooms across America. We write it tonight in the spirit of fellowship and the celebration of goodwill that is a hallmark of Ramadan. We will write it in the months and years to come as we continue to reach out to engage people around the world in a search for common ground, common understanding and common respect."
This week, hundreds of Afghans protested outside a Kabul mosque and chanted "Death to America." Members of the crowd pelted a passing U.S. military convoy with stones before being ordered to stop by protest organizers.
Last Saturday thousands of Indonesian Muslims demonstrated outside the U.S. embassy in Jakarta and in five other cities to protest against the church's plan. Dove World made headlines last year after distributing T-shirts that read, "Islam is of the Devil."
In a joint statement U.S. religious leaders condemned what they described as an "anti-Muslim frenzy" in America. They said this had been whipped up in part by "misinformation and outright bigotry" in response to plans to build an Islamic community center and mosque close to the site of the 9/11 attacks in New York.
On the plans to burn the Qu'ran (Koran), the leaders, including Washington Roman Catholic archbishop emeritus Cardinal Theodore McCarrick, Rabbi David Saperstein, head of the Union for Reform Judaism, and Dr. Michael Kinnamon of the National Council of Churches said they were "appalled by such disrespect for a sacred text."
I repeat: If these Qu’rans (Korans) are truly burned, then it is up to us to replace each and every one of them – isn’t that the responsible, ethical behavior that Jesus himself might urge people of all faiths to do?
— The Curator
Embattled online classified service Craigslist apparently made a change to its U.S. website early yesterday, self-censoring its adult services section.
The section that usually reads "adult services" was replaced by the single word "censored."
It was not immediately clear whether Craigslist.com removed the adult services and replaced them with a "censored" section that still had a link, but was inactive.
For users who accessed the account outside the U.S., the erotic services link remained active and the content appeared unchanged.
Is this an issue of free speech protected under the First Amendment as the company argues, or is it instead a thinly veiled attempt by the site to illegally promote prostitution, and the overt exploitation of children and women, as a group of U.S. Attorneys General and others maintain?
I say the First Amendment stops where crimes begin. Shame on Craigslist for barring only U.S. “customers,” while letting the rest of the world prey on the most vulnerable. But then again, the site owners may have been seduced by the proverbial 30 pieces of silver, since the profits from these illicit ads are staggering.
According to web advertising monitors AIM group, Craigslist made $45 MILLION from its sex ads last year, about one-third of its total profits. The website insists it has responded to concerns by introducing in the past year a system of weeding out the most egregious advertisements, claiming to have rejected 700,000 items since May 2009.
A news media investigation of Craigslist's adult services section, which replaced "erotic services ads" two years ago, counted more than 7,000 ads in a single day. Many offered thinly veiled "services" for anything from $50 for a half-hour to $400 an hour.
Thus, the sex services portion of the website was criticized as a clearing house for prostitution. It exposed Craigslist to several damaging scandals, the most serious of which was the killing in April last year of Julissa Brisman, a 25-year-old masseuse from New York, in a Boston hotel. Philip Markoff, her alleged murderer, was dubbed the Craigslist killer because he had arranged to meet her through the site. He killed himself in jail last month.
Brandon Petty pleaded guilty last month to sexually attacking with a knife four women who had advertised for sex through Craigslist. He faces up to 45 years in prison.
Also last month, an advertizement was placed in the Washington Post and another newspaper under the headline "Dear Craig," in which two women said they had been forced into prostitution with johns/punters attracted through the website. One of the women said she had been sold by the hour at rest stops while the other said she had been a victim of sex trafficking from the age of 11.
Though Craigslist has faced an intensifying public relations crisis, it is shielded from prosecution by a U.S. federal law that protects Internet providers from the actions of their users.
"This step is very much in the right direction," said Connecticut Attorney General Richard Blumenthal today when he heard the news. Blumenthal spearheaded the letter from 17 Attorneys General who had banded together to urge Craigslist to completely discontinue its adult services section.
"These prostitution ads enable human trafficking and assaults on women," said Blumenthal. "They are flagrant and rampant. Craigslist has lacked the wherewithal or will to effectively screen them out."
Craigslist representatives have said that they will release a statement at a later time.
"The message here is put people over profits," said Blumenthal, who is running for the U.S. Senate from Connecticut as a Democrat. He said officials will continue monitoring Craigslist and other websites for such content.
"The increasingly sharp public criticism of Craigslist's Adult Services section reflects a growing recognition that ads for prostitution – including ads trafficking children – are rampant on it," the Attorneys General had said in an Aug. 24 open letter to Craigslist CEO Jim Buckmaster [Depicted in photograph at top] and Founder Craig Newmark.
A Craigslist spokeswoman said at the time that the site agreed with at least some of the letter.
"We strongly support the attorneys general desire to end trafficking in children and women, through the Internet or by any other means," said Susan MacTavish Best, who handles press inquiries for Craigslist.
"We hope to work closely with them, as we are with experts at nonprofits and in law enforcement, to prevent misuse of our site in facilitation of trafficking, and to combat such crimes wherever they appear, online or offline," she said.
In their letter, the attorneys general highlighted an open letter, which appeared as a Washington Post ad, in which two girls said they were sold for sex on Craigslist.
When the ad came out, Buckmaster wrote a blog post in response that said, "Craigslist is anxious to know that the perpetrators in these girls' cases are behind bars."
"Craigslist is committed to being socially responsible, and when it comes to adult services ads, that includes aggressively combating violent crime and human rights violations," Buckmaster recently blogged.
The Attorneys General letter also highlighted a report in May by CNN's Amber Lyon, who posted a fake ad for a girl's services in the adult section. She received 15 calls soliciting sex in three hours.
Earlier this month, Lyon interviewed a woman named "Jessica" who sells sex on Craigslist. The woman said a Craigslist ad was "the fastest, quickest way you're for sure going to see somebody that day."
In a later blog post, Buckmaster said Craigslist implemented manual screening of adult services ads in May 2009. "Since that time, before being posted each individual ad is reviewed by an attorney," the post said.
He said the attorneys are trained to enforce Craigslist's posting guidelines, "which are stricter than those typically used by yellow pages, newspapers, or any other company that we are aware of."
Attorneys General from Arkansas, Connecticut, Idaho, Illinois, Iowa, Kansas, Maryland, Michigan, Mississippi, Missouri, New Hampshire, Ohio, Rhode Island, South Carolina, Tennessee, Texas and Virginia made the request a week after accused "Craigslist killer" Philip Markoff committed suicide in jail. The Attorneys General requested Craigslist take immediate action to stop accepting ads since it "cannot, or will not" screen them.
They accused the site of profiting from the "suffering of the women and children who continue to be victimized by Craigslist."
Markoff was charged with the April 2009 killing of Julissa Brisman. Boston Police said that Brisman, a model, advertised as a masseuse on Craigslist, and Markoff might have met her through the website.
In 2008, under pressure from state prosecutors, the website raised the fees for posting adult services ads. In 2009, it started donating portions of the money generated by adult ads to charity.
The Attorneys General letter wasn't Craigslist's first scuffle regarding sex-related ads. The site formerly had an "Erotic Services" section that was shut down in May 2009. It was pulled after a law enforcement filed suit, claiming the classifieds facilitated prostitution, and after Markoff was arrested.
The "Adult Services" section took its place shortly after. Craigslist said the postings would require manual, human approval of all entries and cost $10.
In October 2009, an Illinois judge dismissed the lawsuit saying intermediaries aren't responsible when customers use their services to commit unlawful acts.
Craigslist executives didn't give any reasoning for its policy change as of Saturday. It is unclear if the listings will remain offline permanently, or if the San Francisco-based classifieds service is making a policy statement by its action.
If the "Adult Services" section is gone for good, it's a safe bet those type of listings may soon flood other categories on the site.
The move is an important concession in the fierce debate in America between free speech and First Amendment advocates, and those seeking to clean up the web and protect vulnerable girls and women from exploitation. It follows a sustained campaign by prosecutors across the U.S. to have the sex advertisements removed.
In the absence of comment from Craigslist, it is not clear whether the shift will be permanent. It is also unclear what the concession means for other countries, including the U.K., where "erotic" services remained available today. However, the fact that the site's executives placed a "censored" block over its adult services link in the U.S. suggests that, in using that particularly loaded word at least, they have not given up the fight.
In America, we are not only bound by law but by the very foundation of our democracy to protect free speech. But we also have a sacred duty to protect our citizens from victimization. Technological advancement has exploded beyond anyone’s prediction or expectation, and has obviously out-paced our ability to police so-called computer “progress.”
If Craigslist insists on resuming this section of its site, then real, effective safeguards must be developed to ensure that the most vulnerable in our society do not become prey.
— The Curator
